


Haven for the broken

by Superwholock88



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Child Abuse, Dark, Drug Use, Eventual Happy Ending, Forced Abortion, Gen, Heavy Angst, Physical Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 04:10:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 65,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4862624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superwholock88/pseuds/Superwholock88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles, Scott, Allison and Lydia are orphans who have just been placed in the care of Derek Hale after being found having been severely abused by their caretakers. None of them trust anyone and that includes Derek. Can he help them see not everyone will hurt them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what possessed me to start this, I'm kinda a terrible person I guess. So basically I put my favorite characters through hell. It does eventually work out its just a while down the road. There will be bits and pieces of their pasts that make them how they are now. Hopefully it's not too confusing. Anyway hope this is liked.

Stiles POV  
“Ok so have you all gotten settled into your rooms" the man who introduced himself as Derek asks as we sit in the 'family' room. Allison just shrugs and Lydia nods. Scott of course answers with "Yes sir" and I stay silent.   
"Well as I said during the walk-through, my name is Derek Hale and despite how you've been treated thus far in life it changes now. I guess best thing to start off with is rules. First and foremost is respect for each other. You each have a room all your own and no one even me will be allowed into it without your permission. There will be no yelling or hitting allowed, if someone becomes angry I may ask them to go to their room until they are calm. This is a safe place for you all to heal and grow. So yeah that's my speech and whatnot. If you'd like just say something about yourselves " Derek says somewhat awkwardly. I smirk because come on, he left it open.   
"Hello my name is Stiles and it's been two days since my last bowel movement." I say causing both Allison and Lydia to giggle.   
"Dude, tmi!" Scott says while Derek gives me a quizzical look.   
"I'm Scott, I have asthma?" Scott says more in a question.   
"I'm Lydia and this is Allison, we're twins even though we look nothing alike." Lydia says because she knows Allison won't speak.   
"Um ok. Well you guys can do whatever until dinner. Is spaghetti an ok meal?" Derek asks. We all nod and then look at each other before filing out of the room awkwardly. Everyone convenes in my room soon afterwards.   
"So are we staying here or what?" Scott asks.   
"Let's give it a try, it's better than the streets, especially with our injuries" I say reluctantly. The girls nod.   
"Ok but I don't trust this Derek guy worth anything" Scott says.   
"Well no shit Sherlock. It's been a while since any of us had someone to trust." I tell him.   
"Yeah we've just got to survive three more years and then we're free. Plus we know how to protect ourselves more than when we first came to the orphanage. We've got each other's backs and besides it's one on four, right" Allison says.   
"Yeah but still we need to be careful. He's kinda huge" Lydia reminds her.   
"Hey he won't touch you two, got it" I say and Scott nods. Allison looks away and Lydia tears up.   
"No you can't do that again. We can't lose you guys because you want to be chivalrous. That's how we ended up here anyway" she says in a harsh whisper.   
I move slowly but wrap my arms around her. "I'm sorry, I couldn't just sit there though. I've known you since before the orphanage, before the Beacon Hills massacre. This place may be called Haven and despite Derek saying we can be like family, the four of us will always be family. We stick together" I say. She sighs.   
"Ok" she says.   
"What I want to know is why this Derek guy decided to take us in. I mean I know it was in the news but seriously who wants four abused kids" Scott asks.   
"I don't know, Scott but we'll figure him out." I say laying a hand on his uninjured shoulder. He smiles and we decide to help each other unpack.   
Derek's POV  
I'm pretty sure they all hate me, with good reason though. Everyone has been asking why I decided to take them in and honestly I have no idea. Well maybe in part to give back from what my parents did for me. Granted I was only with child welfare for a couple of years before being adopted by the Hales but I at least understand some trauma. I get things started for the spaghetti and sit down with the files I was handed for each of the teenagers. I know without looking that most of what they've been through is undocumented but hopefully I can at least avoid some triggers with the small info I have.   
First file is on Scott McCall, current age 15. Birthday is May 25th. He's been in some form of care since he was four after he was found wandering the streets in his pajamas covered in blood. His father had murdered his mother before committing suicide. He arrived at Penbrooke Orphanage at age 6 due to a lack of foster homes. The documented cases of injuries other than current, list two broken arms and three concussions. After the second broken arm the orphanage was put under investigation which found nothing out of the ordinary. I shake my head at this. He's been arrested 4 times twice for truancy, once for drugs, and once for theft. He averages C's and D's in school and has been suspended several times. The latest suspension was for fighting which led to him landing in the hospital with the other three teens. I sigh as I realize that's all there is on him. I pick up the next file belonging to some name I can't pronounce with Stiles in parentheses. Stilinski is the last name. Also 15, birthday May 12th. I pause remembering that being the sheriff's name when I was younger. I open the file and confirm that Stiles is in fact that sheriff's son. He became orphaned in the Beacon Hills massacre when he was 6. I remember it well as I had just turned 18. We lost nearly half the town in two days. Stiles is described as a troublemaker. His first school suspension was when he was 8 and punched a kid in the face for calling him an orphan. He has also been arrested four times and from the file I presume it was with Scott since the arrests are for the same things. Unlike Scott he has no documented injuries although when he was checked over after the latest attack there were signs of old injuries. I presume he's the leader in a way of the four, I've already seen him take charge of the awkward situations. I close his file and pull out the last one for Lydia Martin and Allison Argent who are in fact twins but because their parents weren't ever married they each got one of their parents last names. They also lost their parents to the massacre when they were turning 7. Their parents died on their birthday. April 6th. Damn. I shake my head and continue reading. Allison is often mute unless called upon in class. Both girls made straight A's but had several "behavioral issues" with fighting. They have both been hospitalized for UTI's which started after they turned 9. Knowing that can be a warning sign of sexual abuse I sigh, it's going to take a hell of a lot to get them to trust me. I put the files away and finish up the dinner before going to let the teens know it was ready. I feel way in over my head with this and can only hope I don't screw them up more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is really dark and violent but gives a what led them to be with Derek type thing. If I need to add warnings please let me know. Hopefully this is well received and no one thinks I'm secretly a serial killer.

Two weeks earlier - January 11th  
Stiles POV  
"Damn it" Scott mutters as he slams his locker shut.   
"What's wrong" I ask curiously.   
"My fucking science homework is gone again. I've changed my lock three times how do they still get in?" He asks.   
"Because Jackson is an asshole and knows how to pick a lock." I tell him as I scan the hallway for said doucebag. Scott notices immediately.   
"Stiles forget it, you know it will end badly, just don't ok" he says putting a hand on my arm. I sigh but nod. Our next class is the one we're lucky enough to have with our friends Lydia and Allison. Plus it's our English class so one I actually enjoy. Mrs. Ortega doesn't hate us like the other teachers either. Once the bell rings Mrs. Ortega says we're going to be talking about Edgar Allen Poe.   
"Does anyone want to take a guess as to why his writings were often very dark?" She asks.   
"Because he was like probably a serial killer, I mean he talked about bloody death all the time." A popular girl named Alisha says. I see Lydia roll her eyes and raise her hand. It's one of the only classes she'll dare to draw attention to herself.   
"That's one theory, Lydia what do you think?" Mrs. Ortega asks.   
"Well for one watching your mother die a slow death from tuberculosis at age two probably contributed to it along with the death of his first love when he was 15 and his foster mother when he was 20 then his wife also died. It's like he was just surrounded by death and writing it out was the only way he was able to deal with it." Lydia says causing Alisha to scowl at her.   
"Very good, Lydia. Edgar Allan Poe was as she said surrounded by death his entire life. Even his death remains a mystery. I'm passing out a list of many of his works. I want you to get into groups of four and pick one to study. I would like a ten page assessment on your study and please do not make it a copy and paste project, think for yourselves. Get into his mindset. So for the rest of class let's work on that and about five minutes before the bell rings I need to know what your group has chosen and why." Mrs. Ortega says. Scott and I immediately pair up with the twins who smile.   
"This is like the most awesome project ever." Allison says softly so only the three of us hear. I smile.   
"Hellz yeah it is, so what do we want to pick" I ask.   
"Well I'm sure some of them will choose the classic 'The Raven' or 'The Tell Tale Heart', how about 'The Murders in The Rue Morgue' because going with a murder story is always awesome" Lydia says. I roll my eyes and shrug. The others do the same.   
"We have to have a better reasoning than its a murder story though" Scott mentions. Lydia gives him her classic 'are you dumb' look and he sighs.   
"How about this it's a detective story trying to solve a murder right" I ask and Lydia nods.   
"Ok well we all have first hand experience with that so why not mix that into it, if that's ok." I ask suddenly unsure. Allison shrugs and Scott nods.   
"Maybe we'll get bonus points for mentioning our families" Lydia says softly. We continue discussing how we'll tie it together until the teacher calls it to an end. Lydia is right of course that 90% of the class chooses 'The Raven' for reasons of 'it's a love story or the lovely because they like ravens. When it comes to our turn Scott tells our reasoning and Mrs. Ortega applauds us for really putting some thought into it. I dread our next period which is lunch for us and P.E. for the girls.   
"Good luck, try to not get suspended" Lydia says squeezing my hand gently before we part.  
"Yeah you too" I tell her. Scott and I head to the lunch room where several class members are waiting. They lock the doors behind us and I sigh.   
"You two really think you’re just all that because you got one teacher to like you. The rest of the school fucking hates you two little bitches" spews Jackson.   
"You weren't even in our class you asshole why are you even mad" Scott asks.   
"Because little bitches like you need to learn a lesson" Jackson says before spitting in Scott's face. Scott shoves him just enough to get him out of his face but I know that's what he was waiting for. Instantly punches are being thrown in our direction. Neither Scott or I are cowards so we hold our own until we're broken up by Mr. Harris and the school officer.   
"You two are pathetic, can't you ever just stay out of trouble. God I hope you actually get expelled this time so I won't have to see your pathetic faces" Harris says as he hauls us to the office. We sit down outside the office wordlessly as Harris goes on to inform the principal.   
"What are the chances he'll actually believe we didn't start it?" Scott asks holding a hand to his bleeding nose.   
"About the same chances that we'll be treated to a steak dinner tonight" I remark. He sighs but before he can say anything Allison and Lydia are coming down the hall with the P.E. teacher. They sit down next to us both have frazzled hair and Allison has nail marks across her cheek. The P.E. teacher rolls her eyes at us and goes into the office.   
"You guys got jumped too huh" Scott says softly.   
"Yeah figured after we got acknowledged in class that would happen. It's been over a month since our last fight, that's probably a record" Lydia says.   
"Hell it's been a whole two weeks for me and nearly a month for Scott but it's not going to matter a damn moment tonight" I say and Allison shivers. "Sorry Ally, I" begin but cut off when the office door opens and the P.E. teacher and Mr. Harris walk out. Principal Tyrne steps out as well and holds the door for us to enter. Once we're seated the principal sighs as he sits as well.   
"I've already alerted your caretakers of these incidents. They'll be here soon. You are lucky we've decided not to press charges. You’re all suspended for " he begins but is interrupted by a knock on the door followed by Mrs. Ortega entering.   
"Can I help you, Mrs. Ortega?" Tyrne asks irritably.   
"Well I just wanted to find out if you've questioned everyone involved in the fights or just figuring these kids started it" Ortega asks. Tyrne sighs.   
"Look Lauren you've only been here a year, you haven't seen the havoc these troublemakers cause, trust me I've got the ones who started it" Tyrne spews condescendingly clearly dismissing her. Mrs. Ortega shakes her head but leaves after giving us an apologetic look. Tyrne clears his throat.   
"Now as I was saying your all suspended for three weeks. After which you can serve out in school suspension for the rest of the semester." He says. Again there's a knock on the door and I stiffen along with the others knowing who's behind it.   
"Come in" Principal Tyrne says and two of our workers enter.   
"Sorry for the trouble they've caused yet again, how long this time?" Brad, one of the men asks glaring at us.   
"Three weeks then we'll try in school suspension until the end of the semester see if that helps straighten them out" Tyrne says.   
"Oh I think they'll be better behaved when they come back, we had a talk about this last time" Brad says and Allison takes in a shaky breath.   
"Let's go" says Sam the other worker as he grabs Lydia by the arm.   
"Jesus Sam we're coming you don't have to rip her arm off" I blurt out accidentally. Everyone freezes. Sam let's go of Lydia and stands in front of me to get in my face. I make sure to keep my eyes lowered.   
"You want to run that by me again" he asks.  
"No sir" I whisper. He turns and walks out the door and we follow with Brad coming out behind us. We stay silent as we walk to the waiting van.  
"Get your asses inside" Brad says shoving Scott who is closest. Once inside Sam handcuffs each of us to the wall in silence before Sam gets in and starts driving. Once we arrive back 'home' they lead us to the 'punishment' room and leave us. A few moments after the door closes Allison starts crying. Scott wraps his arms around her but stays quiet. There's not much he can say that would be comforting at this point. We wait nearly an hour before anyone comes in. Sam and Brad lead the way followed by James and Andrew.   
"Strip" Andrew barks out making each of us jump involuntarily. Once we've obeyed one man walks to each of us. I'm standing in front of Andrew.   
"Anything you want to say, Stiles" he asks.   
"No sir" I manage even though my voice is shaky. Andrew's hand is instantly around my throat slamming me into the wall.   
"You just don't fucking listen do you, you worthless piece of shit" he yells before throwing me down. I cover my head as kicks start raining down. I hear Allison screaming and Lydia cursing. I glance up to see if Scott's ok and get a boot to the eye.   
"Fuck" I yell involuntarily. I cringe when I hear him taking off his belt.   
"Stand up you stupid little bastard" Andrew yells. It takes me a couple of tries before I finally am able to stand. He slams me into the wall and I feel the belt fly against my back. I give into the screams a couple minutes in. Andrew laughs when I collapse to the floor crying.   
"God you are such a fucking wimp" he yells before kicking me one last time. I hear Lydia scream and look up with my good eye. Sam has begun to drag her out of the room. I somehow manage to make my way towards them.   
"Stop, let her go" I rasp. Sam laughs and I charge towards him.   
"Fine you can come too" he says and I feel arms wrap around me from behind. They take us to another room, Lydia has gone silent and still. I collapse on the floor trying to catch my breath when I'm dragged up by my hair. Andrew throws me in a chair and handcuffs me to it before walking out with a smirk saying "Have fun".   
Sam pushes Lydia onto the bed. I pull on the handcuffs hard trying to get out.   
"Stop it, don't, please stop, you can hurt me please stop" I scream and Sam laughs.   
"Usually I like it when she begs but this will do" he says running a hand across Lydia's body.   
"Oh yeah cause you’re so fucking lame you have to rape girls because women intimidate you, bet you can't even get it up for someone your age can you. Pathetic piece of shit" I say and smirk when he moves away from Lydia. His hand slams across my face causing me to see stars. He uncuffs me and brings me to the bathroom. The bathtub is already filled with water. He dumps me in and holds me down. I break surface gasping a few moments later and hearing Lydia screaming before going back under. I fight as hard as I can but eventually everything goes black. When I wake up I’m back in the punishment room.   
"Oh thank god" Scott says with a sob as I cough up water.   
"Where's Lydia" I manage.   
"She hasn't been brought back yet, they just threw you in minute ago" Scott says softly.   
"Fuck" I say. Allison is crying softly.   
"I'm sorry" I tell her. She shakes her head  
"Not your fault" she says. I disagree but don't say anything.   
"Here wrap this blanket around you" Scott says. The blanket smells horrible but at least I won't freeze to death. The door opens and Lydia stumbles in. Scott goes to her and helps her get back to us. She sobs when she sees me sitting up.   
"Don't ever do that again" she says between sobs as she sits next to me. We decide to talk about our English paper to pass the time. Finally the door opens and we instantly go silent. Jonathan, the director of the orphanage walks in.   
"You can get dressed for now, you are all staying here for the next week at least, maybe longer, I haven't decided. Due to the acting out by Stiles and Lydia you won't be eating tonight, you may get something tomorrow night if you can behave" he says and turns to leave.  
"I'm sorry guys" I say. They say it's ok but I still feel to blame. Eventually we drift off somewhat in a pile. We jerk awake when the door slams open.   
"Each of you go sit in a corner" Jonathan says. We silently do as told. I watch as he walks to Allison first.   
"Give me your left hand" he demands. Allison does without a word. I cringe as the bones of her wrist crack and she screams. He smirks and waits.   
"Don't you have something to say" he prompts. Allison gasps in a few breaths but manages to speak  
"Sorry sir thank you for correcting me." She stutters.   
"Good girl" he says patting her head as she flinches. He crosses the room to Lydia and looks her up and down before grabbing her right foot and twisting it until we hear bones cracking. Lydia screams but manages to speak before being asked.   
"Sorry sir, thank you for correcting me" she says tears running down her face.   
"That's what I want to hear" he says kissing her forehead. He moves onto Scott and grabs him by the arm popping his arm out of place and twisting until again bones crack. He gasps but clamps down the scream.   
"Sorry sir, thank you for correcting me" he barely manages. Jonathan throws him back down and heads to me.   
"Stiles, Stiles, Stiles, whatever are we going to do with you" he asks as he motions for me to stand. He grabs my right hand and then my finger. He pulls up until it cracks and waits.   
"Sorry sir, thank you for correcting me" I say through gritted teeth. He moves on to each finger and I repeat each time. Finally he pushes me back to the floor and leaves. Only then do I let the tears fall. I jerk when a hand touches me but smile when I see Lydia sitting next to me. She starts reciting our favorite poems. We both have many memorized. I eventually calm down and lean against her as my head throbs. Scott and Allison join us silently. What seems like hours pass before the door opens again. The same four from the night before enter. This time I stay quiet as Lydia and Allison are dragged out.   
"You know it's really interesting that a teacher showed up here a little while ago. Do you two have any idea why a Mrs. Ortega would show up here" Andrew asks.   
"It's the class we had before the fights. She stood up for us and said we didn't start the fight" Scott admits.   
"Did you tell her about things here, she seems awfully concerned about you four" Andrew asks menacingly.   
"No we didn't say anything I swear" I tell him. Brad snorts.   
"Yeah sure kid" he says and slams Scott into the wall while Andrew sucker punches me. His knee comes up as I'm bent over gasping for breath. I know my nose is broken now as blood flows freely. Another punch to the back of my neck makes me collapse to my knees. He pushes my head back making me fall backwards. I struggle as his hand wraps around my neck.   
"If I find out you did tell, I'll kill your girl slowly in front of you and then you'll be next, got it" he says. I nod as much as I can and he lets go. Both men leave and I manage to sit up even though my head is spinning and my nose still dripping blood. I turn to fond Scott completely unconscious. I scoot towards him slowly and check his pulse with my good hand. I sigh in relief to find he's still alive. I take my shirt off to use to stop my nose bleeding. I struggle to stay awake and am in and out of consciousness. The girls are back in the room when I startle awake. Scott is sitting up but not looking so good.   
"Here Stiles, they gave us some water" Lydia says handing it over with a shaky hand.   
"Scott buddy, you ok" I ask.   
He gasps in a breath that sounds raspy.   
"Pretty sure I have a few broken ribs, nothing new really but my chest is really tight and I don't know I think I'm having an asthma attack" he says in short breaths. We hear yelling before the door bursts open and several people flood the room. I notice they are in uniform before vomiting on one of their shoes.   
"Shit, get the paramedics in here now" one of them shouts and even more people flood the room. I know logically that these people are good but the panic comes anyway and I fight when they come near me. I feel a sharp pinch before things go blissfully dark.   
Derek's POV   
The next day  
I don't know what possesses me to come here and see these kids. It's not like they're a side show for crying out loud. Something has drawn me to them though. I hear that they're going to be shipped off to different places and suddenly I hear myself speaking.   
"I'll take them in, Haven has plenty of rooms, I am a certified foster parent as well" I hear myself saying.   
"Well that would certainly be better than trying to separate them. You know the details yet son" an officer says. I shake my head.   
"Not completely, I've followed the story though and I know it's bad." I tell him  
"Yeah but you need to at least look at their list of injuries before you decide" a woman says standing next to me.   
"Ok then let's hear it" I say dreading what will be said next. She sighs and motions for me to follow her to a private room.   
"Both girls have been sexually assaulted, they won't tell us if it's a one time deal but it's very doubtful. All of them have broken ribs, both boys have severe concussions, Stiles has all the fingers in his right hand broken along with his nose, he also has wounds on his back that look like a belt was used on him, we're watching his kidneys closely right now to make sure that's all ok due to the bruising in that area. Scott has had a dislocated shoulder and a spiral arm fracture, he has the same marks on his back as Stiles. Lydia has a broken ankle and Allison a broken wrist. I fear quite a bit of theirs was sexual abuse. These kids need a safe place to heal and began to learn that they don't deserve what happened to them. Just because they've been abused doesn't mean they're weak. Stiles knocked out an orderly when he accidentally made Lydia scream. Scott threw his bed pan at a nurse, we're not entirely sure why. Oh and Allison is not speaking at all. She may be speaking when they are alone but with anyone else in the room she will stay silent. They need to stay here for at least a week maybe more but are you absolutely sure you want to do this. These kids don't need someone who's going to back out on them when it gets tough." The lady says.   
"No I won't abandon them no matter what. I'm sure that I want to do this." I tell her. She smiles slightly.   
"Alright then we need to focus on preparing your place for them when they're ready to leave here." She says.   
"I'm Alice, by the way, their caseworker." She says.   
"I'm Derek, Derek Hale" I say noticing her eyes light up in recognition.   
"Your Talia's son" she says and I nod.   
"So sorry to hear about her passing. She did the foster community a lot of good" Alice says.  
"Yeah she was pretty awesome" I say tearing up a bit.   
She smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder.   
"Alright let's get things in place" she says. It turns into nearly two weeks before the teens come to my house. Its the 25th before they come to the house. As they file in together I introduce myself and give them a tour. I take it slowly since Lydia, I believe, is her name is on crutches. I think about telling them I was a foster kid too but it just doesn't seem like the thing to say. They come to dinner willingly enough but I don't know if that's because of fear or not. Dinner is awkwardly and painfully silent. Afterwards none of them move and I realize they're waiting for permission.   
"Uh you guys are free to go, you don't need permission to leave the table" I tell them. Stiles starts to grab plates but I stop him ignoring the flinch when I take the plate.   
"For now don't worry about dishes, maybe when your all healed we'll sit down and make a schedule but for now I'll take care of it" I explain.   
"Yes sir" he says softly.   
"Just Derek" I tell him. He nods and they head out of the kitchen. I suppose that went about as well as it could.


	3. Chapter 3

Stiles POV   
"Well that went ok, I guess" Scott says  
"Yeah he seemed nervous around us" Allison says softly.   
"He didn’t seem to know what to say but then again no one really has known what to say to us since we got out of the orphanage." I remind them.   
"True. I guess only time will tell. We should probably try and get some sleep" Scott says as Allison yawns.   
"Can I sleep in your room, please" Allison asks Scott softly.   
"Yeah no problem." He says reaching out to her with his good arm. I snort suddenly causing them to all look at me. It turns into a bit of hysterical laughter before I get it under control. I take a few breaths and apologize.  
"Sorry, God I'm sorry. It's just that your right arm is out of order and Allison's left wrist so you technically have two working arms together. I don't know why it seemed so funny in my head" I tell them, feeling ashamed. Allison reaches out to me and I look up.   
"We've been through hell who knows why our brains are like that, it's ok" she says and I nod. Scott leaves my room with Allison.   
"You can stay in here if you want, I mean I can sleep on the floor and you can have the bed" I tell Lydia who rolls her eyes.   
"Stiles, thank you for offering but I'm only staying if you stay in the bed with me. You are not sleeping on the floor." She says.   
"Ok, I just wasn't sure if you'd be ok with that" I admit. She sighs.   
" I trust you, ok" she says. I nod and help her get to my bed before turning the light out and laying down next to her. I wake up to screaming a few hours later and jump out of bed, my ribs protesting immediately. Lydia is already up and out the door without her crutches. I follow her quickly to Scott's room where Allison is screaming and crying. Scott is standing by the bed trying to wake her without touching her.   
"Ally-cat wake up its just a dream, your safe now" Lydia says touching her forehead. Allison wakes and launches into Lydia. Derek suddenly appears in the doorway.   
"Everything ok?" He asks cautiously causing everyone to stiffen.   
"Allison had a nightmare, that's all. Sorry if we woke you sir" Scott answers.   
"Please just call me Derek and it's ok." Derek says.   
"Yes sir, uh, Derek" Scott says cautiously.   
"Do you guys need anything?" Derek asks. After looking to Allison who shakes her head Scott tells him we're ok and Derek nods before heading back to his room presumably. Scott sits down on the bed carefully. Allison unlatches herself from Lydia and leans against Scott her breathing finally starting to even out. Scott presses a kiss to her forehead and runs his hand over her hair.   
"Sorry guys" she whispers.   
"Hey we all have nightmares, don't worry" I tell her as Scott and Lydia agree.  
"Come on let's go back to bed" Lydia says standing from the bed and wincing slightly.   
"Here let me carry you" I tell her and get an instant glare.   
"You have six broken ribs, and a broken hand, you are not carrying me. Eh, don't argue or I'll use your real name" Lydia huffs. I roll my eyes.   
"Fine, at least lean on me to ease the pain" I try. She smiles a bit and agrees. Once back in the bed she sighs.   
"What do you think he'll say tomorrow, well technically later today" she asks.   
"Don't worry about it. There won't be any repercussions for Allison" I reassure her.   
She frowns but doesn't say anything. She's asleep not long after. I give up on sleep around 7 and decide to make my way to the living room, maybe have a talk with Derek if I need to. Scott apparently has the same thought because I meet in the hallway.   
Derek is watching tv as we come in.   
"Hey you guys are up early" he says glancing up from the tv.   
"Yeah couldn't sleep" Scott says and we sit down staying close to the door.   
"So listen uh I don't think social services will like the girls sleeping in you guys rooms." Derek says calmly.   
"Oh so now they give a fuck. Where the hell have they been the last nine years?” I spew before realizing how I'd just spoken to him.   
"I'm sorry" I mutter keeping my head down. Derek sighs and I try not to flinch.   
"It's ok, I prefer less cussing but you weren't disrespectful towards me which is the only rule I gave yesterday." Derek says.  
"I'm guessing that neither Allison or Lydia feel safe sleeping alone, am I right" he asks. We both nod but stay silent.   
"Ok I understand that. I have an idea. Lydia's current room is between Allison's and yours, Stiles. If we move Allison's bed into Lydia's room and Scott move your room into Allison's current one then they'll be in between the two of you. And I can go get some locks for your doors, will that be ok" Derek asks.   
"Yeah that would be better, if the girls are ok with it." I tell him.   
"Good, ok." He says seeming relieved.   
"Look about last night if you want to punish Allison for waking you up just give that punishment to me instead, please" Scott asks keeping his head lowered. I see Derek's eyes widen.   
"You think, I, but why, you just, no ,no that didn't even cross my mind, god what the hell did they do to you" Derek sputters out. Scott looks at me and then at him.   
"But you got woken up, right" Scott asks.   
"Yes, so what" Derek says.  
"Well isn't it disrespectful to wake someone up" I ask. Derek closes his eyes for a moment.   
"She didn't purposely wake me up and even if she did I still am not handing out punishment for that. Or anything for that matter. The most I'm going to do is send you to your room. Look I have no idea what you guys have been through, obviously it's a lot but I'll say this as many times as I have to, I'm not going to hurt you, any of you" he says his expression looking pained. Neither Scott or I fully believe him but we both tell him ok. Lydia and Allison walk in a few minutes later.   
"Hey" Lydia says sitting next to me as Allison sits next to Scott.   
"Listen uh Derek thinks that social services might get upset about you two sleeping in our rooms so he thought maybe you two can be in one room with Scott and I on either side, he also said he'd buy locks for our doors, is that ok"? I ask them even though Derek is sitting close by, Allison nods.   
"Yeah that sounds ok to me" Lydia says. I see Derek smile slightly.   
"Ok well uh help yourselves to whatever I'm going to go run some errands" Derek says getting up slowly.   
After he leaves Lydia and I make our way to the kitchen.   
"How about some eggs?" I ask loudly enough that Scott and Allison hear.   
They both respond in the positive.   
"Are you sure this is ok" Lydia asks, I shrug.   
"We'll do one egg each for now and make sure we clean it up. It will be ok" I tell her even though I'm not sure it will be. I manage to fix four eggs and Lydia washes up afterwards.   
"So let's move what we can in the rooms" Scott says while we're sitting in the living room in silence.   
We're just finishing moving everything but the beds when Derek arrives. He greets us and refuses our help moving the beds. He then installs the locks as well and gives us the keys.   
"I don't know about you guys but I'm ready for lunch" Derek says. We all agree and follow him to the kitchen. He looks around and frowns.   
"Did you guys eat breakfast" he asks and Lydia stiffens.   
"Yes sir, I'm sorry, we each had an egg but I thought we got it all cleaned up I apologize if it's not enough, it was all my idea" I tell him stepping somewhat in front of the others.   
"Stiles, that wasn't what I meant. The kitchen is clean so I thought maybe you hadn't eaten. You’re not in trouble" he says. I nod but don't say anything.   
"Is sandwiches alright for lunch" Derek asks. We nod but don't speak.   
"You don't have to stay in here you can go watch tv if you want" he says after a moment. We file out and into the living room where we turn the tv on but don't really watch it.   
"He seemed pretty upset that you thought you were in trouble" Lydia says lowly.   
"Yeah I don't get him." I admit.   
" Maybe he's actually a nice person " Scott says.   
"Yeah we'll see" I say. Derek brings in sandwich stuff a few minutes later.   
"Uh I don't know what you guys like so I figured I'd let you choose. I have soda too uh Dr.pepper and Mt.dew, what do you guys prefer" he asks. Scott says Mt.Dew for him and Allison while Lydia and I prefer Dr.Pepper. Derek leaves to go get the drinks and we begin to make sandwiches. He comes back in with the drinks.   
"Is it ok if I sit in here with you guys, you can say no if it makes you uncomfortable." He asks  
"It's ok, you can stay" I tell him he sits and builds his own sandwich.   
"Anything you want to watch" he asks.  
"We don't really have a whole lot of experience with tv and stuff" Lydia tells him softly.   
"Oh, uh ok. Well there's this comedy show I like, it's called 'The Carbonaro Effect' it's pretty cool." He says as he flips through the channels. He's right and the show is pretty awesome. This magician dude tricks people into thinking he's doing really odd things like milking an almond. Even Allison laughs a bit. We watch that for a while but get tired pretty early.   
"Is it ok if we head up to bed" I ask him nervously.   
He smiles for some reason.   
"Yeah that's fine" he says and we head to our rooms.   
Derek's POV   
It's only been two days barely that and I'm already failing. I wish my mother were still around. It's only been about 6 months since she died of a heart attack. Pops passed five years ago so I have no one. I watch tv/stare into space for a while after the teens headed to their rooms. When I glance at the clock again I realize it nearly ten at night. I haven't disassociated like that in years. I head into the room I keep mom's stuff in, maybe talking to her will help.   
"I wish you were still here, you would be doing so much better than me. These kids mom, they are terrified of me. Of everyone. Hell one of them thought I was upset because the kitchen wasn't clean enough. I know I gave you and pops hell when I first came to live with you. I'm trying to look back on that and I guess use my own trauma to try and help but I never went through anything nearly like these kids. I know, I know you'd be telling me not to discount what I went through blah blah blah, but mom these kids are crushing my heart. I want to help them and I don't know how. I think I'm failing mom. God I miss you so much" I say my voice breaking as a tear escapes down my face. I'm startled by a creaking floorboard outside the door. Without thinking I throw the door open to see a terrified Stiles. He throws his hands in front of his face immediately.  
"Oh god I'm so sorry I swear I didn't mean to listen in I mean I kinda did but not originally. I was going to the bathroom, oh god I'm so so sorry" he says without taking a breath.   
"Stiles calm down its ok" I begin but he starts having a panic attack. I move carefully and touch his shoulders.   
"It's ok Stiles, breath with me, in and out, in and out" I tell him breathing with him until he calms down. He pulls away from me with his head down.   
"Sorry sir" he murmurs.   
"Hey Stiles look at me, please?" I ask. He looks up and flinches slightly.   
"You’re not in trouble, ok. I, I knew your father" I blurt out, not knowing why.   
"You knew my dad, like when he was the sheriff?" Stiles asks softly. I nod.   
"I uh was kinda a troublemaker when I was a teenager, he helped me get back on the right track." I admit.   
"He'd be so ashamed of me if he were still alive" Stiles says staring at the ground.   
"No way, he'd be so proud of you kid, the way you step up and protect your friends and after everything you've been through, your a good kid" I tell him. He laughs harshly.   
"You must not know much about me, huh. I've been arrested four different times. Tell me do you really think my father who was the sheriff would be proud of the fuck up I am now. And as for protecting my friends, I've done a shitty job on that account as well, shit I can't even kill myself right" he says breaking my heart even more.   
"What do you mean by that" I ask suddenly scared of finding him dead in one of the rooms. He sighs.   
"I was about 9 and stuff just really sucked you know, I tied a rope that I stole from the store on my closet bar thingy, I stepped on a chair and tied the other end around my neck. I stepped off and the rope untied. I tried like five times but I couldn't get it right" Stiles admits, tears falling down his face. Before I can stop myself I wrap my arms around him. He stiffens immediately.   
"Um what are you doing" he asks sounding scared.   
"I'm hugging you because I can't just stand here and know that you felt so low at such a young age, is that ok" I ask completely prepared to let go if he wants me to.   
"I guess so, I don't know, I don't remember the last time an adult hugged me" he admits. I give another gentle squeeze before letting go. Stiles refuses to look at me.   
"Hey can you do one thing for me" I ask causing him to look up briefly.   
"If you start feeling like that again tell someone. It doesn't have to be me just someone, please" I ask and he nods.   
"So can we just pretend that I didn't have a complete freak out on you" he asks making me smile.   
"Sure just as long as you know it's actually ok that it did" I tell him. He nods and yawns.   
"Go back and get some sleep, ok" I say and he smiles briefly before walking off to presumably do so. I walk back into my mom's room and look at a picture of her.  
"Thanks" I whisper before turning the light out and heading to bed myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for description of suicide attempt. And for anyone wondering about the age Stiles was when he attempted it, it's very possible, that part is actually true from my own life.  
> Anyway let me know what you think please.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never attempted an Allison POV or any female really which is odd since I am one, lol. Anyway I hope it's ok. Warnings posted at the end. There is one section I put in trigger warning because it's a flashback, it can be skipped if you need to.

Allison's POV  
It's been a weird couple of days in this new place. Derek hasn't tried to touch me or Lydia but maybe he's just waiting until we're comfortable before he makes his move. I learned long ago that silence means safety so unless I'm with Lydia and the guys I don't really talk. It's not like I have much to say. I like that we can lock our door though. I actually slept better knowing that no one could come in. Lydia said she did too. Our social worker is speaking with Lydia and then me, I guess to see if things are ok. I'm not sure why though. One of the first rules was that no one really cared about orphans. It's been nine years in that place and now everyone is saying we shouldn't have been treated like that, it's confusing as hell. Lydia walks back in our room.  
"You ok" I ask. She nods. The social worker, Alice motions for me to follow her. I sigh but do as she asked. Once we are in another room she sits across from me.  
"Allison I know things have been really hard and confusing and no apologies will be enough for what you, your sister and friends went through but I'd like to help things be better for you. Now you are allowed to tell me anything you want, nothing will happen to you, ok" she says I nod.  
"Is this place ok for you" she asks and I nod again.  
"Sweetie can you please use your voice" she asks.  
"Yes this place is ok" I say softly. She smiles for some reason.  
"Good, do you feel safe living here with just Derek as your guardian?" She continues.  
"Yes, he gave us a lock for our doors" I tell her.  
"Ok now I'd like to ask you some questions about the orphanage if your up to it. I feel my breath quicken but I nod anyway.  
"Can you tell me how often you were punished " she asks  
"I don't know, a lot? I did a lot of bad stuff" I admit ashamedly. She starts to say something but stops.  
"I know you have been asked this before but was the sexual abuse an ongoing thing" she asks.  
"No" I lie keeping my head down.  
"Allison you won't be in trouble for anything that you tell me, are you sure about that." She pries.  
"Can I please go, I'm tired" I try, feeling panic coming. She sighs but nods. I get the feeling she's upset with me. She walks me back to my room where Lydia is sitting on her bed. I wait until the door closes before speaking.  
"I think I made her mad" I tell Lydia.  
"She asked about , 'that' with you too huh" she guesses and I nod.  
"I told her no but I don't know if she believed me." I say glumly as I sit down next to Lydia. She reads as I lay beside her for a while before the social worker comes back just to tell us bye. We wait a moment and creep out to hear what she says to Derek.  
"They won't say much more" We hear her say.  
"Well they've certainly been through hell, I can guarantee that." Derek says.  
"We surmised as much, how are things going, you doing alright " she asks.  
"Mostly yeah. I feel way out of my league but I'm not giving up on them. I'll earn their trust even if it takes years." Derek says.  
"You really think it would take that long" she says.  
"They flinch if I breath wrong. I have no idea if anything I say is a trigger, they definitely don't ask for things. I have to tell them they could leave the table after dinner. They won't do it without permission. Hell the boys asked me to punish them instead of the girls when one of them had a nightmare the other night. They seriously thought I wanted to punish someone. I swear if any of these so called child care workers gets the littlest leniency I'll freak out" Derek admits.  
"I can see you care about them and I think given time this will be a good place for them. Call me if you need anything" Alice says and leaves. We quietly go back to our room. Things go pretty smoothly for the next week or so. Derek wants us to get some fresh air and to get us some new stuff. None of us really knew what to do with that but Lydia and I managed to pick out some nice curtains for our room, Stiles picked out a hat and Scott got a notebook. Derek seemed kinda frustrated with our choices. Stiles asked if we had asked for too much and it kinda looked like he was going to cry. He said no that we barely picked out anything but said it was ok for our first outing. It started raining on our walk home and we were all soaked by the time we got back to the house. I was shivering a little but I guess he noticed.  
"Well the way this place was designed we can have both showers and the bath running and not run out of hot water. Allison, you look cold, I don't want you to catch a cold or something, if you'd like you can use the bathtub. It's through there " Derek tells me and I realize this is what he wants. After all he bought us curtains and stuff. I nod and go get a towel and clean clothes before going quietly into the bathroom he pointed out. I start the bath and whimper as my chest immediately tightens. Suddenly I'm not in Derek's house but the orphanage with Sam.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Flashback -possible Trigger Warning for attempted drowning

“Since you don't want to behave we'll try something else" Sam says and puts me in the cold water. He shoves me under before I can say anything. I fight and push against him finally making my way to the surface just long enough to hear him laugh before going under again. I get a mouthful of water as his hands push hard against my shoulders. I feel like I'm going to explode from the tightness in my lungs. I can't struggle as hard anymore and then everything goes dark. I wake to Sam over me. I cough up water as I sob. He slaps me and tells me to shut up before dragging me towards the bedroom.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
End trigger warning 

 

I shake myself out of the thoughts and see that the tub is almost full. After those memories it's hard to get in but I do as I know I'm supposed to and I get warmed up. I drain the tub and dry off before heading to Derek's room. I try hard to not cry as I sit on his bed and wait. 

Derek's POV  
It's makes me angry and sad that they don't even know how to choose things for themselves. I'm glad I was able to get them to at least get one thing a piece, well the girls actually chose an item together but still progress right. After changing into warm clothes I head to talk with mom for a bit, giving the kids some space. It's probably a couple hours later when I head to my room to grab my phone. I freeze for a moment as I open the door. Allison is sitting on my bed naked. I throw my hands in front of my face and back out of the door keeping my eyes closed.  
"Allison I don't know why you are here but I need you to please get dressed" I say trying to stay calm.  
"But you bought us stuff, and I thought" she begins and pieces fall into place. I can't stop myself from being sick where I am. By this point the others have heard the commotion. Allison looks slightly confused but has the towel wrapped around her when I glance up. I get no warning before a fist is in my face.  
"What the fuck, dude" Scott screams and gets on a couple more hits before Stiles pulls him away. Allison is crying but telling him to stop.  
"He didn't do anything" she cries softly. Lydia leads her away. Stiles lets Scott go now that he isn't trying to get to me.  
"What happened" Stiles asks.  
"I don't really know exactly. I was in the other room and I was just coming to get my phone she was sitting on my bed. She thought I wanted" I manage to say before puking yet again. I don't even realize I'm crying until Scott says something.  
"Aww shit I think we broke him" he says guiltily which in any other situation would be funny. I take a few breaths and pull myself together.  
"I'm ok, I'm sorry" I tell them as I see both Stiles and Scott standing nearby.  
"I'm swear I don't know what made her think" I begin but Scott cuts me off.  
"I should have known better, it's not you. As you can probably guess things were rough, especially for the girls. We stopped them when we could but obviously not all the time." He says looking down. I finally manage to stand and am surprised when Scott walks directly to me. He holds out his hand and I feel sick again. He's holding his own belt.  
"I hit you" he says and focuses on the ground.  
"I'm not punishing you for it. Please just put that away" I tell him my voice quivering as my own memories begin swirling up.  
"I shouldn't have hit you" Scott urges.  
"No maybe not but you've been through hell. You were trying to protect Allison. I'm not punishing you for that. I definitely won't punish you with that" I spat in disgust gesturing towards the belt. He looks at me confused.  
"I know this would be extreme punishment in the orphanage but it shouldn't be that way ok. I know that's confusing but it is what it is." I tell him. He shrugs.   
"Is Allison ok" I ask. Stiles nods.  
"Well except for her thinking your going to kick her out" he amends.  
"Will it be ok for me to talk to her, with both of you and her sister present I'm not about to kick her or any of you out" I ask. Scott and Stiles seem to have a silent conversation.  
"Yeah I think you probably should anyway" Stiles says finally and we make our way to the bedrooms. 

Allison POV again  
"He's going to kick me out now I'm sure of it" I sob into Lydia’s shoulder.  
"If he does we'll all go with you, ok. Stiles and Scott are talking to him." Lydia says rubbing my back. We hear footsteps in the hall and turn towards the door.  
"It's us" Scott says and both he and Stiles walk in.  
"Derek wants to talk to you, he says he's not kicking you out" Scott says searching my face for permission. I nod. Stiles waves him in.  
"Hey Allison, Lydia" Derek says seeming nervous.  
"I'm sorry" I apologize softly keeping my eyes down.  
"No it's ok. I don't know what I did that triggered you to think I wanted that but I'm sorry. Can you tell me what I did to make you think that" he asks gently.  
"You noticed I was cold and said I could take a bath. That bathroom is by your room so I thought you wanted me to 'pay' for the stuff we got. I didn't mean to make you throw up, or to cause Scott to hit you. I just thought that I finally figured out why you took us in." I finish my voice breaking.

"Thank you for telling me. I want to avoid triggers where I can. And I guess I should have told you all before but I just didn't want you to think I was comparing what you've been through to my life. But I guess I should tell about me. I was ten when my house was burned down, both of my parents and three siblings perished. My teacher took me in for a little bit. It was then found out she actually started the fire. She had been abusing me since before the fire. I was in foster care for a couple of years. Didn't get a lot of good homes until the Hales. Talia, my adopted mom took me in when I was 12. Everyone said I was a loss cause but she took me in anyway. Her and my adopted dad James are the only reason I made it out of my teen years and then I heard about you guys and how close you were and I didn't want you to be separated so I said I'd take you all in. I promise I don't have an agenda, and I don't want any of you in that way. I want to try and give you the life that my parents gave me." Derek tells us and I feel horrible. I don't trust him yet but somehow I know he won't hurt us at least not in the way I'd been thinking.  
"Is Scott in trouble" I ask.  
"No, if it's ok with you four we can just chalk this up to a lot of misunderstanding. But if you don't feel safe, I'll call your social worker and let her talk to each of you about what happened today" Derek says.  
"I'm good with it being a misunderstanding" I say and Lydia, Scott and Stiles agree quickly.  
"Good. It's probably really unhealthy for us but are you guys ok with just take-out for dinner tonight" Derek questions. We nod and he smiles. He comes back with a couple of menus and tells us to pick what we want. We eat dinner in the living room where Derek has set up a movie.  
"Ok so this movie is called The Goonies and is one of my absolutely favorite movies." He says excitedly. When the take out arrives he starts the movie. Derek and I are the only ones left awake when the movie is over.  
"Can I ask you something" I venture as the credits roll. He looks over at me.  
"Sure" he says. I take a deep breath before speaking.  
"You said your teacher abused you, you meant like me and Lydia were didn't you" I ask. He closes his eyes briefly and nods.  
"I'm sorry" I say and yawn.  
"It was a long time ago, I’ve healed quite a bit since then. You can just stay in here if you want" he tells me and grabs some blankets to drape over the others. He waves before going to his own room. I cuddle up to Scott and fall asleep listening to his heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for attempted drowning, mentions of sexual abuse, misunderstanding thinking that Derek might abuse them. I think that's it but let me know if I've missed a trigger.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings at the end  
> So a few things, the lines they write are actually similar to one's I received in school. The new therapist is actually going to be modeled after my current therapist who is pretty awesome. Sorry if this is more angsty than usual, I'm not in the greatest mindset lately. Anyway hope you like it.

Two months later  
Allison's POV   
We've slowly settled into a routine of getting up eating breakfast, doing some school work, eating lunch, physical therapy and one day a week actual therapy which basically consists of each of us sitting in a room with this quack job that thinks asking us what color makes us feel happy is magically going to fix us. Then we have dinner and watch a movie before bed. The Princess Bride has become Lydia and my favorite movie. Sometimes I talk when Derek is around but after years of not talking a lot I got kinda used to it, you know. We are starting back to school in the morning and out of his 'great generosity' Principal Tyrne has waived the in school suspension. None of us are looking forward to going back but we're not about to tell Derek that. We're all healing quite well so when we screw things up at school and get kicked out by Derek we should be ok. Oh and I guess that brings me to why I'm writing in this. It was actually our social worker's suggestion to write in a journal, whatever we wanted to. She even brought us each one. So far only me and Lydia have used them for the actual purpose. Guess that's it for now. I set my journal down and stretch. Lydia glances over.   
"So did it feel super weird to write your thoughts out" she asks.   
"Kinda but idk I liked it. Weird. What about you" I ask   
"Yeah pretty much the same. Scott said he might use his for writing poems and stuff. Pretty sure Stiles is doodling in his" she says, I smile.  
"Hey Lyds, are you scared for tomorrow?" I whisper.   
"Yeah kinda but no matter what the four of us will stick together, we'll be ok" she reminds me. A knock on the door startles me.   
"Come in" Lydia says.   
Scott and Stiles come in and give us hugs.   
"We're about to go to bed, you guys ok" Scott asks. We nod together making Stiles shake his head.   
"The twin power is strong" he says placing a hand on each of our heads. Lydia rolls her eyes before throwing a pillow at him. They leave and we lock the door before laying down. When our alarm goes off at 7am I groan and get up. I think I had maybe an hour of sleep between all the nightmares. At least I can keep them quiet. Lydia and I dress quietly and head to the kitchen meeting Stiles and Scott on the way. Derek has set out what looks like a buffet of breakfast for us. As we settle in he grabs a bag and opens it.   
"So I uh got each of you a cell phone so that if you need anything you can call me or uh your social worker. I programmed her phone number in too. He says and hands each of us and identical phone. I stare at it in amazement.   
"Dude are these like touch screen" Stiles asks. Derek smiles.   
"Yeah they're called the Samsung Galaxy S6. Might take a bit to get used to but figured they'd be a good phone for all of you, is that ok?" He asks. We all nod and thank him. When we finish eating we head out to the jeep Derek had brought home a week previously. He had his Camaro but it would be a tight fit so he said he'd take us to school in the jeep.   
"If you guys need anything, please just call or text me, I know this can't be an easy thing to come back to." Derek says as we pull up to the school.   
"Thanks, Derek" Stiles says and we head into the school. Scott slips his hand into mine and I realize I'm trembling slightly. Everyone goes silent as we enter but we ignore them and head to the office, whispers start up all around us. The secretary greets us pleasantly and gives us each a paper to give to our first hour and we split up. I slide into the back of the classroom and put my bag on my desk. I startle when someone sits down next to me.   
"Sorry didn't mean to scare you" a voice says and I glance up to see Erica.  
"It's ok" I say quietly.   
"So uh I guess are you ok is a weird question so uh I guess how are you liking your new place" she asks.   
"It's ok I guess." I tell her feeling odd that she's even talking to me. She nods but doesn't say anything else as the teacher begins to take role. I get through the day mostly invisible but still feel relieved to get to the class I share with Lydia, Scott and Stiles.   
"You doing ok" Scott asks rubbing my shoulder as we get into the classroom.   
"Yeah how about you guys" I ask.   
"Eh could be worse " Stiles says with a shrug making Scott frown.   
"Mr. Harris refused to accept Stiles work last hour because he said he should have turned it in at the beginning of the day." Lydia explains.   
"That's stupid" Scott says and is suddenly beamed in the head with a crushed up piece of paper. We all look in the direction it had come to see one of Jackson's friends standing there.   
"I wanted to see if I could make any of you flinch, seeing as how you were just so mistreated" the jock mocks. Stiles starts to get up when Mrs. Ortega walks in.   
"Let's get started" she says and starts class. I can see that Stiles and Scott are tense as the bell rings to end class.   
"We're going to study hall since we aren't cleared for P.E. yet, maybe you guys should just skip out of lunch" I say.   
"No, half the teachers are keeping hawk eyes on us for Principal Tyrne. Who knows what he'll try to pull. We'll be ok" Scott says and we part ways.   
"How many people have asked you questions" I whisper to Lydia once we sit down in study hall.   
"Pretty much half of our class has asked or just made rude comments, how about you" Lydia replies quietly. I sigh.   
"Well most people are used to me not talking so only a couple but several have talked around me. I think I've had like three times where I thought my lungs would explode or something." I admit.   
"Lydia and Allison, come up here please" the teacher says suddenly.   
My eyes widen but we both obey.   
"Yes sir" Lydia says as we stand in front of the desk.   
"Do you even know the meaning of study hall" Mr. Pierce asks.   
"Yes sir, it's for studying sir. We both have finished our work though" Lydia tells him. He rolls his eyes.   
"Just because you've come up with some sob story doesn't mean you can misbehave. Study hall is to be quiet and study or do homework. You are both disturbing the other students by talking. I'll see you back here for detention after school, and you can stay on opposite sides of the room until this hour dismisses" he informs us gruffly   
"Yes sir" We both say and hurry to split up. I feel like crying as I watch others in the room throw paper airplanes and talk aloud amongst each other. Finally the bell rings and we head to our lunch. Thankfully no talk of fighting is roaming around so Lydia and I hope that Stiles and Scott are doing ok. Last period is Spanish which I have with Stiles.   
"You ok" he asks and I just nod. Jackson sits behind me and flicks my head. I turn to him slowly.   
"So is it true" he asks with a smirk. I roll my eyes and turn back to face the front. Jackson flicks me again but the teacher starts calling role so he doesn't say anything. A note flutters over my shoulder. I sigh and open it.   
"So rumor is that you sexed up the whole orphanage is it true, are you willing to spread em for anyone. If so you can meet behind the school whenever. I don't mind sluts, they give better head anyway" the note says. I freeze and try to push the images away unsuccessfully. I dig my nails into my palm to help me calm down and try to focus on the teacher. After class I nearly jump when Stiles touches my arm.   
"Are you sure you are ok" he asks.   
"Yeah just tired. Uh Lydia and I have detention" I tell him, glad that I've already hidden the note.   
"Yeah Lydia told me last hour and I text Derek to let him know. Scott and I have detention too because we were late to class after lunch" Stiles explains as we walk down the hall.   
"Let me guess you were detained until it was too late to be there on time" I say and he nods. Detention is always served in the library so we meet up with Scott and Lydia there. We sit at separate tables without being asked. Mr. Pierce walks in a few minutes later.   
"Here I have busy work for each of you, come up here one at a time please" he says. When I I go to get the paper from him my heart drops. The instructions read please copy this sentence 100 times. "I'm nothing but an orphan and should learn my place" I glance up to see Mr. Pierce smirking.   
"You better get it finished if you don't want detention again tomorrow" he says mockingly. I nod and go back to my seat. It's about four when I finish. I walk back up and hand it to Mr. Pierce. He looks it over and hands it back.   
"You should keep it with you as a reminder to behave" he says. I nod and take it back to my seat. He allows us to leave at 4:30. We stay quiet as we walk outside. Derek is waiting when we reach the parking lot.   
"Rough first day" he asks as we pile in.   
"Something like that" Stiles mutters but the rest of us stay quiet.   
"Uh well I'm not upset or anything ok. It happens. You aren't in trouble" he says as we drive off. Our silence unnerves him but he doesn't say anything.   
"So I had a roast cooking all day today so it should be ready here in a bit. I guess you all did your homework in detention, right" he asks and I flinch slightly.   
"Uh no sir, Mr. Pierce has us write lines when he runs detention. I still have a bit, sorry" Scott says. Derek frowns.   
"That's ok, I've been there. Lines suck. You sure you guys are ok" he asks. I nod quickly as does Lydia.   
"Yeah we're just kinda tired, long day" Stiles says. Derek looks like he wants to question it but doesn't.   
"Ok well uh I guess go ahead and finish up your work if you want. I'll let you know when dinner is ready." He says. We all head out and end up in Lydia and I's room.   
"God that sucked" Stiles says flopping down on the floor.   
"Yeah, but hey no fights that's gotta be a plus, right" I say and Stiles smiles slightly.  
"Yeah. I guess so. I can't believe Derek's so calm. I mean our first day back and we all get detention. I don't get it" Stiles admits.   
"Well let's not press our luck. We're all pretty much healed enough to do basic housework. Allison and you still have braces on your arms so how about Lydia and I do the dishes tonight and you two can put the food stuff away." Scott says.   
"Yeah that sounds good. So uh I hate to even ask but what did Pierce have you guys write?" Lydia asks. I pull my paper out and show them. Lydia's is similar except proper grammar stating "I am a orphan and as such should learn my place." Stiles shakes his head and pulls his own out.   
"My father was a coward who couldn't stop a massacre, I'll never amount to anything either" and Scott's reads   
"my own parents couldn't stand me, I'd be better off if they'd taken me out." Lydia sighs.   
"He's such an asshole." She says and we all giggle a little. I help Scott finish his homework while Lydia helps Stiles until Derek let's us know dinner is ready.   
Derek's POV   
I think there's more going on here than what the teens are saying but I don't know what to do besides watch and see if I can tell what changed. I haven't been called sir in almost a month and now Allison is practically silent again. I sigh as I finish dishing things out and call them to dinner. Dinner is kinda awkward with none of them really talking. I'm slightly surprised when Scott begins grabbing plates after we finish.   
"Scott I can do that, why don't you guys go pick out a movie for tonight" I suggest.   
"No that's ok. You said after we healed. I don't have a cast on anymore and Lydia can sit to dry. Besides um we really shouldn't watch a movie tonight" Scott answers. I'm now confused as hell.   
"You don't have to stay up late, it's just now 6, so why would you not be able to watch a movie" I ask.   
"We got in trouble at school" I hear Allison say softly. I close my eyes briefly.   
"Yes and you served your detention, I told you, you’re not in trouble" I try.   
"Please just let us do the dishes and go to bed" Scott practically begs and I give in. They rarely actually ask for anything. I'll give it a couple more days and if things don't change I'll go have a talk with the school.   
"Ok but you’re not in trouble." I reiterate hoping I've done the right thing. After they clean up from dinner they head up to bed. I don't hear anything out of them before heading to bed myself. The next morning I'm only slightly surprised to find them all up and eating bowls of cereal. They engage in some small talk with me but seem to be holding back. They're quiet again on the way to school.   
"You guys have a good day, ok" I say not knowing what else to say. They nod and go into school. I drive back home before texting their social worker.   
"So they were doing better but have had a set back with going back to school?" Alice texts.   
"Yeah, I feel like I'm missing something, you know" I text her.   
"Well give it some time. If things don't change by the weekend I'll swing by and talk to them, or try to anyway." She says. I feel a bit better having her in my corner. The rest of the week passes by agonizingly slow. By Friday all of them are calling me sir and Allison is mute again. They haven't had detention since Monday but they just seem worse off. After dropping them off Friday morning I make a decision that might make them hate me but I want to find out if they are actually ok. I go to Stiles bedroom first and what I find makes me beyond furious. I decide to go work out in my gym before I freak them out by being angry. Once I feel relatively calm I text Alice what I've found and she agrees to meet me at the school.   
"Derek I think what's best at this point is to pull them out of school. I can get it worked for them to do online classes." Alice says after looking over the papers that I'd found. We walk into the office together.   
"How can I help you, Mr. Hale?" The principal asks.   
"Well you can start by explaining what kind of school you think you are running" I say crossing my arms.   
"Excuse me" he asks defensively.   
"Don't tell me that you don't know what I'm talking about. Half of these papers have your signature" I nearly yell slamming the papers on his desk.   
"I have the right to discipline as I see fit, some students are more unruly than others and need a stronger line to follow." Tyrne smirks. Alice places a hand on my arm before I can go off.   
"These do not constitute discipline, this is flat out emotional abuse." She says lifting one of the papers and clearing her throat.  
'I will never amount to anything, I might as well learn that now' or 'I'm a dirty little whore that is going to hell' and oh then this one I think takes them all ' I would be better off in the ground' " Alice finishes.   
"Those kids are holy terrors, they can't be controlled any other way" Tyrne spews.   
"Oh really, call them in here, now" I demand. I smirk when he moves to do so immediately. I work on calming myself for them. They come in together looking quite scared. It increases when they see me.   
"He said they wouldn't call you" Scott whispers making me even more angry but I stuff it down.   
"You aren't in trouble, please come sit down." Alice says. They do but don't relax.   
"I knew something had to be wrong so I'm sorry but I went in your room Stiles, and I found these papers. I came here to discuss them with your principal. Now can you each tell me one instance of what these, lines were given to you for please" I ask calmly.   
"Uh I asked to use the restroom too many times" Stiles says  
"I forgot a homework assignment" Scott tells next.   
"I broke my pencil and needed to sharpen a new one" Lydia continues. Allison remains quiet.   
"Allison can you please tell me just one instance of why you had these lines? I swear you won't be in trouble." I ask. I try to not be upset that she's actually shaking.   
"I uh got excited because I knew the answer to a question and I didn't raise my hand before speaking" she manages while staring at the floor. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning to the principal who is cringing slightly.   
"You really want to tell me that these are legitimate reasons for these lines" I ask.   
"Well uh I may have been misled a few times but with their history, what does one expect." Tyrne says.   
"Well what I have to say is your damn lucky that I'm choosing to not take this to the press. I'm sure Alice here will make sure there's an investigation into this school though. These four will not be returning to this school, you've done enough damage" I say.   
"You can't just pull them out of school, I'll have you arrested for allowing truancy" Tyrne says smirking.   
"You sir are an idiot. They'll be enrolled elsewhere where no one else can hurt them. They've been through enough" I say and stand up effectively ending the conversation.   
"Come on guys let's go" I tell the four teens who look a mix of scared and confused.   
"I don't understand" Lydia says as we are walking out of the school. I sigh.   
"I know that you guys didn't realize it but the way you were being treated is wrong. I am not mad at you at all. I'm quite furious at the school for allowing this kind of treatment but you guys I just want to help. Alice is coming over to the house when she's finished killing your principal's career." I tell them.   
"Are we having to leave" Allison asks making my heart hurt.   
"No you guys are definitely not leaving. Is that what they told you would happen if I found out you were 'causing trouble'?" I venture a guess. They nod.   
"I'm so sorry. I thought something was wrong after Monday but I thought maybe you were just adjusting to bring back in classes, I should have known better" I say a bit of anger seeping in. The rest of the ride home is quiet. Alice arrives within minutes of us.   
"I turned the case over to my friend" she explains. We all sit in the living room.   
"Ok I know you are all probably really confused right now so I want to just allow you to ask any questions that you have" Alice says. I notice the way they confer with their eyes and know that Stiles will speak up first. He directs his attention to me.   
"You are angry, but just not at us, at the teachers, right?" He asks. I nod.   
"Um ok, I guess what we're all really wondering is why? I mean we get that like hitting us was bad and that's why we aren't in the orphanage but uh they didn't hurt us, so why are you mad" he continues.   
"Because what they had you write is very very wrong. Just because they didn't hit you doesn't mean they didn't hurt you" I say.   
"Ok well I mean yeah the stuff we had to write was upsetting but why was it so wrong, it's what we've been told for years?" Scott chimes in.   
"I'm sorry that you've been told that so many times. What they had you write is not true. I know you won't believe that right now but it's true. Let's try it this way, if someone said those same things about me, that I was lower than dirt or worthless because I'm an orphan what would you say" I ask.   
"That's not true! You are like the only person who's ever been nice to us" Allison blurts angrily.   
"See that makes you upset, right" and they nod. "It's the same way for me. It's not ok for those things to be said about any of you.” I explain. They still seem confused some.  
"Do you know the definitions of abuse?" Alice asks  
"Well like hitting and bad touching, right" Stiles says  
"And like neglect too" Lydia says.   
"Yes those are both correct, there is also emotional or mental abuse which is what the teachers were doing. In my opinion emotional abuse is the hardest to see and understand and leaves some of the deepest scars. Telling someone that they are worthless is never ok. Making you all write out these horrible things is very much akin to brainwashing, honestly." Alice says.   
"Brainwashing seems a bit extreme" Lydia says.   
"Why do you think that" I ask her.   
"Well brainwashing is basically forcing someone to change their beliefs about something against their will, like POW's" Lydia responds.   
"Ok that's actually a pretty good example. How do they go about changing someone's beliefs through physical force or is it more subtle" Alice asks.  
"Usually it involves a lot of talking with like rewards if said person does what the person wants" Stiles says  
"Like Principal Tyrne saying he wouldn't call Derek if we did all of the lines, right" Allison says and I see it click with the others.   
"For now I'm going to enroll you guys in an online school, I think that would be better for you anyway" Alice says.   
"Can we just, idk watch a movie or something" Scott says and I smile.   
"That's a great idea actually" I say and see them all finally begin to relax. Once they have the movie started I go into the kitchen to talk with Alice.   
"You, ok" she asks. I sigh and run a hand over my face.   
"Yeah, look I know that social services set them up with a therapist but I know a lady she works specifically with teen victims of abuse, I know she's good, she helped me" I say softly.  
"Actually that sounds great. I can't stand the moron that they are seeing now. Do you have her number?" Alice asks. I nod and give her the number.   
"Just tell her I referred you, she'll remember me" I say and walk Alice to the door.   
I startle when Stiles appears beside me on the kitchen.   
"Are you ok" he asks. I breathe out a mixture of a laugh and a sob.   
"If anything, I should be asking you that" I say and he shrugs.   
"You didn't really ask to be burdened with us. I know you are genuinely upset about how the school treated us, all of us do. We don't really understand it but we kinda trust you a little more now. I mean no one who is that upset over words could actually be someone bad." He continues  
"That means a lot, really, thank you." I tell him. He blushes.  
"We kinda have a request" he says nervously.   
"Ok what is it" I ask curiously.   
"Well can we just not see the therapist anymore. God half the time she doesn't even remember our names. And she expects us to open up to her" he says and I laugh.   
"Yeah I uh actually am already working on that." I say and am interrupted by text. It's Alice saying that she's made appointments for each of the teens to see Marva, my old therapist. I roll my eyes at seeing that she wants a session with me as well.   
"Actually you each have an appointment with someone new tomorrow. She's actually my therapist from when I was your age. Her name is Marva. She's pretty awesome." I tell him.  
"Sounds good to me." He says and give back to tell the others. I go to have a long talk with mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for severe bullying/emotional abuse and a note given to Allison of sexual nature. As always let me know if I've left something out, thanks.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read warnings posted at the end if you think you might be triggered. The therapist is modeled after my actual therapist whom had helped me a lot, hope I've made her part ok. This chapter is really dark and deals with some pretty horrific subjects. I'm kinda in a dark place myself so maybe that's why it's so dark, I really don't know. I actually made myself cry writing parts of this. Does that make me a horrible person for writing this crap up?

Stiles POV  
"I apologize for having to ask but how exactly do you pronounce your first name?" The therapist asks. I laugh.   
"Don't even worry just call me Stiles. No one can actually pronounce it." I explain.   
"Ok, Stiles it is. My name is Marva" the therapist says.   
Uh ok what do you want me to talk about" I ask feeling awkward.  
"Well first I just want to get to know you a little better, so what do you want to talk about" Marva asks  
"Uh ok I really don't know what I want to talk about" I admit feeling very inadequate.   
"That's ok too. What's your favorite class?" She begins and I feel relieved that she's guiding the conversation.   
"I like English and before I got in trouble too many times I liked art" I tell her.   
"What kind of art do you like the most" Marva asks.   
"I like drawing the most but sometimes I like to paint" I say feeling strangely happy that she asked.   
"How have things been since living with your new caretaker?" She asks  
"Derek's pretty cool. I'm pretty sure we're safe there. I mean he let us put locks on our doors and he gets really upset when we think we're in trouble. I kinda remember being with my mom and dad and they didn't hurt me but now I'm an orphan so I don't really matter but still Derek is nice to us without actually wanting anything. It's weird" I admit.   
"Can I ask you why you think you don't matter?" Marva inquires causing me to give her a confused look.   
"Well I'm an orphan. I cause people to have to look after me and take care of me which isn't easy cause I'm a horrible little shit. A good orphan makes sure to stay out of the way and not be any more of a burden than I already create by existing." I tell her since she obviously doesn't know about the guides we were given when we came to the orphanage. She has an odd look on her face before schooling it back to being completely unreadable.   
"Stiles, I'm going to take a guess that you've been told that repeatedly at the orphanage but it is most definitely not true. Every single person matters whether they have parents or not." She starts but I interrupt her.   
"Wait but it's parents job to look after their kids, right? So when they're gone it's left to the rest of society which makes me a burden that no one asked for, doesn't it" I say.   
"No, your not a burden, your a human being who has every right to be treated well. Do you think your parents thought you were a burden" she asks.   
"No, but no one else should have to take care of me" I try to get her to understand.   
"Should your parents have died" she asks softly.   
"What, no but that's not their fault." I yell at her getting up to start pacing.   
"It's not your fault either" she says and I freeze.  
"Stiles, are you ok" she asks cautiously after silence lapses on for a while.   
"How do you know" I whisper.   
"How do I know what" she prods gently.   
"That it's not my fault, you don't, you can't know that" I say holding back the tightness in my chest that wants to release a sob.   
"Yes I can Stiles. I know quite a bit about the massacre but even if they'd died other ways it still would not be your fault. You were 6 yrs old." She says. I close my eyes and take a deep shuttering breath.   
"I don't want to talk about this anymore" I whisper and walk back to the chair I'd been sitting in.   
"Ok, that's ok. We can move to a different subject. Were you allowed to listen to music at the orphanage?" Marva says easily changing the subject.  
"Yeah up until the last couple of years I had music privileges. I love almost all genres. Not really a fan of rap though. A lot of what I listened to was older stuff like 80's rock. I think I kinda remember it from before but after the last time I got arrested I wasn't allowed music. That was when I was 13." I explain.   
"Do you have any that you listen to now?" She asks.   
"Oh uh, no I mean Derek got us all phones and I think we can put music on but he didn't really say we could" I say feeling guilty for some reason.  
"That's ok, Stiles. You and your friends have been through a lot but I'm sure Derek wouldn't mind you putting music on your phone. Do you think you could ask him?" Marva asks curiously. I run a hand over my head nervously.   
"Uh I guess so." I mumble.   
"Good. So tell me about your friends, I know you met at the orphanage but how did you become friends." Marva asks.   
"Actually I knew Allison and Lydia from before. We pretty much were raised together until, you know. It's probably horrible of me to say but when I saw them at the orphanage that first day I felt a little bit better, a little less alone. Scott has been my roommate since I first came to the orphanage. He'd only been there about a week before I got there. We kinda just clicked instantly. We became known as twin troublemakers because we practically did everything together. If one of us got into trouble the other was right there. It's why we both have four arrests. Scott met Lydia and Allison through me and just became friends." I finish speaking while staring at my hands.   
"I'm glad you have them as friends. Do you think you'd be ok to talk a bit about the orphanage today, keep in mind that you can say no and it will be ok" Marva promises. I sigh.   
"I think it would be ok, I don't know" I admit.   
"Well how about this, I'll ask some questions and if you don't want to answer all you have to do is say pass and if at any point it gets too much just tell me and we'll stop, sound ok" she proposes.   
"Yeah, ok" I agree.  
"When was the first time you were hit" she asks.   
"Like punished or hit with fists" I ask for clarification.   
"Let's go with either one" she says.   
"Well I kinda threw a big temper tantrum about a week after I got there. Mr. Jonathan, he's the director, took me to his office and gave me a really hard spanking. I mouthed off like a month later and got slapped across the face before another spanking and I had to sleep in the 'punishment' room that night. They didn't hit me with fists until after I got suspended for fighting when I was 8. Jonathan said that if I wanted to behave like a no good piece of trash I'd be treated like one" I tell her all the while staring at my hands.   
"Can you tell me how you were spanked" she asks.   
"Oh um he used his belt on my bare butt. I got 50 the first time and 100 the second time plus every time after." I explain while blushing.   
"Stiles, those are abusive acts not punishment" Marva says gently.   
"Well I mean our social worker, Alice, gave us these little books that describe abuse so I kinda see that it is but I deserved it most of the time" I admit.   
"No one ever deserves to be hit, or talked down to. Did any of the books talk about sexual abuse?" She continues onto the next question.   
"Oh uh yeah that was there too" I say.   
"Ok. Did that ever occur with you?" She asks.   
"No, no one did that" I assure her hoping she doesn't ask about the girls. She nods.   
"Did they ever use food restriction as a punishment" is her next question.   
"Yeah, that happened a lot, I just learned how to steal and hide it" I say with a shrug.   
"Did they ever say things about your parents" she continues and I freeze.   
"Pass, please" I manage to say even though I feel like I'm choking and the world starts spinning.  
"Stiles, are you ok, oh" Marva says and moves slowly towards me, putting a hand on my wrist loosely.   
"Your having a panic attack, focus on me, you are here in this room, safe, no one can harm you, copy my breathing, big breath in, big breath out" she says sitting directly in front of me. It takes a bit but I'm able to follow her and start breathing again. I feel completely worn out.  
"Good, I think we'll stop for today. I think for now we'll do meetings once a week, ok. Before you go I have some things I want you to do this week, homework, if you want to call it. I want you to ask Derek for things that you want. Come up with five things in total that you can ask for and ask at least three of them, we already have one, you can ask about the music" Marva says.   
"Um ok, I'll try" I tell her.   
"Good, it was good to meet you, Stiles, I'll see you next week" she says and leads me to the door. Scott is sitting outside the door waiting, he's playing a game on his phone.   
"Hey, how'd it go" he asks quietly.   
"It was ok" I reassure him and sit down to wait.   
"Are you Scott" Marva asks. He nods and she motions for him to come in. I pull out my phone and start playing Solitaire while I wait.  
Scott's POV   
I'm really kinda freaking out as I sit down across from the new therapist lady but I try to calm myself down.   
"HI Scott, my name is Marva" she says and I give a half wave like an idiot.   
"So today we're just going to start out talking so I can get to know you, sound ok" she asks. I shrug before realizing it's kinda rude.   
"Uh yes ma'am that sounds fine" I tell her.   
"Just call me Marva please. Ma'am makes me feel old" she says with a smile.   
"So what is your favorite class" she asks.  
"English, hands down, mostly cause I really love writing" I admit.   
"Oh, do you like writing poetry or stories" she asks sounding genuinely interested.   
"Both really but I mostly write poems" I tell her.   
"That's really awesome. Writing can be an great outlet for emotions." She tells me.   
"I know you guys didn't have a lot of privileges at the orphanage, but were you allowed to listen to music? I know Stiles says he could until the last time he was arrested and I know that you were arrested together, did it get cut off them for you too" She questions after a moment of silence.   
"Oh uh yeah. Before that I uh really liked Opera and Classical music" I embarrassingly admit.   
"There's nothing wrong with that Scott. Both of those are very wonderful music choices" Marva says. I shrug.   
"Have you put any music on your phone" she asks. I shake my head.   
"It's not not really manly music" I admit.  
"I disagree but I think you need to find that out yourself." She tells me.   
"How do you like living with Derek" she continues when I don't say anything.   
"It's kinda nice really. He genuinely treats us nice, like we're actually not a burden to him. And even when he really had every right to, he didn't punish me" I admit.   
"Why would he have a right to punish you" she asks curiously.   
"Oh uh well I kinda punched him in the face" I say quickly while staring at the floor.  
"Can you explain what led to that" she asks.   
"Well Allison, she uh thought he wanted her in uh you know 'that' way so she was in his room naked and well I thought he'd hurt her so I jumped on him, hit him three or four times before Stiles pulled me away. I felt horrible when I realized it had been a big misunderstanding. I offered him my belt to punish me and he looked at it like it was a snake. He refused to punish me in any way and he offered to have our social worker come over so we could tell her what happened." I disclose.   
"Do you know why he didn't punish you?" Marva inquires.  
"He said that I was protecting Allison and that he wasn't going to punish me for that. He also told us that he'd been in foster care before. I don't really know though. I mean it's kinda how it's supposed to work, right. You screw up you get punished. That's just how it is supposed to be, right" I say questioningly.   
"Yes and no, obviously people can't run around doing whatever but you don't get punished for every move you make. And I understand that you think hitting him deserves punishment but in this particular instant it doesn't. If you walked up and just smacked him out of nowhere that would be different but you didnt. And hitting as means of punishment is never a solution. You've learned protective instincts and that's a good thing. You and your friends have been through a lot and that's part of why your seeing me to begin to change the wrong things you've been told these last nine years. Let's move on, how did you become friends with the others" she questions changing the subject quite easily.   
"Oh well Stiles and I were roommates at the orphanage and he introduced me to the girls. We just bonded more than the others in the orphanage. I mean granted there weren't a ton of kids anyway but the others just looked at us like we were from outer space." I explain easily.   
"From what I understand, the four of you were targeted more than the other children and that probably set you apart." She tells me and I find it a pretty reasonable explanation. "Now you are able to say no if you want but I'd like to ask some questions about the orphanage." She continues.   
Yeah that's ok" I tell her.   
"Ok. Can you tell me the first time you were hit or punished as they called it?" Marva begins.  
"Well I got a spanking on my first day and um the first time I got hit like with fists was after I argued with one of the workers. I think I was 8. It was like fair game after that one time though" I admit.   
"Stiles told me about the booklets that your social worker gave you explaining the different types of abuse. Did sexual abuse ever occur with you" she asks and I freak inwardly.   
"No, uh that didn't happen to me" I say my voice betraying my terrified emotion.   
"Scott it's ok if you don't want to talk about it, I don't want to pressure you but you seem upset by the question. You can tell me anything nothing bad will happen from telling me" she prys gently. I shake my head and then have to get up and move.   
"It can't happen, it doesn't happen to boys" I say quietly but I know she hears me.   
"Scott that isn't true. It happens to boys and girls alike." She says.   
"I don't want to talk about it anymore" I admit still walking around with my arms crossed protectively in front of me.  
"Ok. Was food restriction used as punishment" she asks and I let out a breath of relief at the changed subject.   
"Yeah that happened a lot but Stiles got really good at stealing food so that helped." I admit and walk back to my chair.  
"Do you remember your parents much" she asks and I turn to her.   
"Yeah I mean I remember my mom at least. She used to sing me songs every night. We moved all the time and then one day a guy came to the house we were in and he said he was my dad. He yelled at mom a lot and then one night he pulled out out a gun and he pointed it at me first. Mom screamed and got in front of me. He got up close and put the gun against her head. It was so loud when he pulled the trigger and blood was everywhere. It landed on me and then mommy's head wasn't there anymore just blood. I screamed at her to wake up but she wouldn't then daddy looked at me and called me somfin' then the gun went in his mouth and 'nother loud boom. He was bleeding too. I laid by mommy for a long time but she didn't get up so I went to find food. Then there were lights and peoples everywheres. I was a bad boy, nobody wants to keep a boy that screams at night so I go to the orphanage." I drift off remembering what happened that night so long ago. I flinch when a hand touches my arm.   
"Are you back with me now" Marva asks softly. I nod and guess I look confused.   
"You stopped talking or responding to me, it's called disassociation." She explains   
"Oh, I'm sorry" I tell her.   
"It's ok Scott. I think we're done for the day. I want you to do some research on Classical and Opera music, I think you'll find its not feminine music." She says.   
"Ok, um when do I come back to see you" I ask very much ready to leave already.   
"I'll see you next week, it was good to meet you Scott" she says as we walk to the door.   
"Oh uh yeah you too" I mutter. Stiles and the girls are now sitting outside. They wave awkwardly as we come out.   
"You ok" Stiles asks under his breath. I shake my head minutely.   
"Lydia, you can come in next" Marva says and Lydia gets up and follows her inside.   
"You look kinda pale, what happened" Allison asks as soon as the door is closed.   
"No I'm really ok. You know how I space out sometimes" I say and both Allison and Stiles nod.   
"I did that in there, she called it disassociation or something like that" I explain.   
"Oh that makes sense, I uh looked up like trauma and abuse and found PTSD, you know like soldiers have, apparently a lot of abused people have it too. We probably all do, disassociation is one of the symptoms. Panic attacks like Allison and I get are a sign too." Stiles says excitedly.   
"You and your research binges. " I say smiling then it occurs to me.   
"Hey you want to do my therapy homework" I ask. Stiles glares at me briefly.   
"Uh no. I think she knows what she's doing so whatever she assigned you to do you are on your own" he says with a smirk. Allison snorts.   
"Hey where's Derek" I ask noticing he's not around.  
"Oh well after we met up with Alice for the doctors appointment this morning he dropped us off here, said he had some errands to run" Allison says.   
"How'd the doctors appointment go" I ask and she makes a face. I decide not to push it. We talk quietly for a bit which keeps me thoroughly distracted from the memories that are now so close to the surface.

Lydia's POV  
At first I'm really not sure of this new therapist but I'll give her a chance at least once, hopefully she's not as stupid as the other one.   
"So Lydia, I'm Marva, I want to start out getting to know you a bit, sound ok" she asks and I nod.   
"Ok so do you have a favorite class?" She begins.   
"I love history the most but really I like learning in general" I admit.  
"I've read your files, you are quite a bit smarter than you let people see" Marva states surprising me, most people don't look hard enough to see that.   
"Yeah it's been in my best interest to hide it." I tell her. She nods.   
"Have you ever had your IQ tested" she questions  
"No not living at the orphanage" I explain.   
"Understandable, were you allowed to listen to music at the orphanage?" She continues   
"Yeah um sometimes I lost the rights but always 'earned' them back" I say not quite able to hold back the shiver.   
"Do you like any particular kind of music" Marva inquires not addressing the noticeable shiver.   
"I love country and well you might laugh but uh, trance music is rather soothing to me" I admit.   
"Not one I would have seen coming but to each her own. Do you have any music on your phone?" She asks  
"Yeah I downloaded some but uh I don't have any headphones" I admit.   
"Well that makes it difficult if you are around others for sure" she says and I smile.   
"Stiles told me you and Allison knew him before the orphanage, were you close then as well" she asks  
"Oh yeah, Stiles and I were like instant soul mates at two years old" I say then realize what I said and want to change the subject.  
"Are we going to talk about the orphanage?" I ask quickly before she can say anything else.  
"We can if you are comfortable with it" she tells me I nod, as comfortable as I'll ever be, I think to myself.   
"Ok do you remember the first instance of abuse or as it was called, punishment" she questions, just diving right in.  
"Yeah we had only been there a couple days and one of the workers said something about everyone who had died. I called him an asshole and got thrown across the room. I was a mouthy little shit. Then they separated me from Allison for a week." I tell her.   
"Did the abuse grow any more frequent at any point?" Is the next question.   
"Well yes and no. I learned pretty early that behaving helped to not get into trouble but sometimes it really didn't matter, some of the workers would use any excuse they could find, plus me, my sister, Scott and Stiles somehow got deemed the worst kids in the orphanage and all the workers had hawkeyes on us, punished us for every little thing" I explain.   
"Now Stiles told me you have little booklets about the types of abuse and one talks about sexual abuse. I know the condition you were found in but how far back did that extend, can you tell me" she asks her voice softening as she speaks.   
"As a therapist you have confidentiality rules right" I ask.  
"To a certain extent yes but as you are a minor I have to report crimes. Now if you are afraid about who the information will get to I assure you that only your social worker and those working the case will know and even then only I will know details. Is there a reason you've asked" she questions.   
"The director, Jonathan, his brother is a chief of police, he'll make sure things don't get charged" I admit nervously.   
"Jonathan Reeves does have a brother on the force but uh he was part of the raid that got you kids out of the orphanage. He actually got suspended for punching his brother in the face. He won't support them" Marva informs me.   
"Really" I ask and she nods. I take a deep breath. "Ok I'll talk about it then" I continue and then we sit in silence for a full minute.   
"The first time anyone touched me was uh when right after we turned 8 but eventually it uh evolved to more than just touching. Every single one of the workers has done stuff to either me or Allison. Sometimes uh" I begin but have to stop from a moment to breath. I dig my nails into my thigh before continuing.  
"Sometimes I'd get a choice, they'd continue hitting me or they'd do you know, other stuff" I finish breathing quite hard as my vision blurs. I flinch back upon seeing Marva closer to me.   
"Lydia I know right now you won't believe it but those aren't actual choices. I'm so sorry they made it seem as if you chose that form of abuse." She says pulling my hand away from my leg.   
"Do you purposely harm yourself like with your nails just now or is it subconscious " she asks softly.   
"Not a lot just sometimes it uh gets too bad and I do it to numb everything else" I whisper.   
"Ok, we'll work on it" she says almost to herself. She stands from where she was squatted in front of me.   
"Lydia thank you for telling me about this. You are a very strong, brave young lady" she tells me. I shrug.   
"No, you really are Lydia. I know you don't believe that quite yet. I want try an exercise if it's ok" she asks and I nod still not quite willing to speak.   
"Ok here's a piece of paper and a pen I want you to write as many words as you can to describe yourself. And go" she says. I start writing everything I know I am until she calls stop. I have 20 words in all.   
"May I see them" she requests. I hand it over unsure of what she's going to do. She's quiet for a few minutes as she looks at the paper. She then hands me a new paper  
"Ok now I'd like you to write as many words as you can to describe your sister, go" she says and I repeat the process. This time I have 30. I hand it to her without her asking. She smiles as she looks at it.   
"These are good. You have all of these qualities that you've written about your sister. I want you to take these both and by next week choose five from the first one and replace them with the qualities you have about your sister. I want you to be able to say one of them out loud in this sentence.   
I, Lydia, am (blank).  
I know you can do it" she says I look at her skeptically.   
"Right now you don't have to fully believe them just choose them for now, ok" she explains and I sigh.  
"I'll try but I mean I can't guarantee anything" I admit.  
"That's ok, it's part of why your seeing me." She says. I nod.   
" So are we doing once a week type thing then" I ask.   
"Yeah for now at least." She says and we walk to the door. I feel relieved to be walking back out to sit with my friends. I give Allison an encouraging smile and a hug as we basically switch places.   
"It's ok to talk to her, she's safe" I whisper in her ear as I hug her. She nods a bit and walks into the room with Marva. I sigh and sit down between Stiles and Scott.   
"How was it for you" Stiles asks after a couple minutes of silence pass.   
"Better than I thought it would be, I told her the truth" I say knowing both boys will understand what that means.   
"Are you ok with having told her" Stiles asks and I nod.   
"I feel tired now though, can I lean against you until Allison is finished" I ask and Stiles arms go around me slowly and gently.   
"Yeah that's fine with me." He says.   
"Wish I had some headphones right now" I say as Scott snorts slightly.   
"Sorry I just pictured you going ahead and playing your comfort music and I can imagine everyone's faces." He explains. I roll my eyes and swat gently at his head without actually moving away from Stiles. I actually kinda drift for a few minutes before flashes of different men make me open my eyes and shiver slightly. Stiles loosens his grip on me instantly and I sit up.   
"You ok " he asks. I nod and grab his hand holding it without saying a word. I play with my phone after that. It's only about 30 minutes later when the door flies open and Allison runs by followed by Marva who stops to speak with us.  
"Lydia you can come with me but I'm going to ask you two to please stay here" she says gesturing to Stiles and Scott. I follow her wordlessly to the bathroom but block her entrance before she can go in.   
"What happened" I demand.   
"She was talking about the abuse and an incident when she was 12." She says and my eyes widen.   
"You didn't tell her what really happened those two weeks did you" I ask  
"Not purposely, she figured it out though" Marva admits.   
"Fuck" I say and allow her to follow me inside where we find Allison crying over the toilet.

Allison's POV   
"So Allison, my name is Marva, to start I just want to get to know you a little bit" the therapist begins.   
"Like what's my favorite color and stuff like that" I ask a bit of sarcasm coming out as I feel skeptical about the lady already.   
"Not necessarily, I mean more along the lines of what class do you enjoy the most, what kinds of music you listen to, if you want to tell me your favorite color though your more than welcome too" Marva says straight-faced and my respect for her goes up a notch.   
"Ok well I really like science but I'm kinda stupid so I don't do well in school." I admit.   
"Allison why do you think that you are stupid?" She asks.   
"Have you seen my grade in math. All the teachers say that I either am just not trying hard enough or I'm just stupid because I have a good grade in English and have a very high reading level" I explain.   
"That's interesting, Allison, do you have trouble recognizing numbers sometimes?" Marva asks.   
"Yeah most of the time actually. Sometimes I see a number that isn't there or I see it backwards and it takes me forever to tell which number is bigger or smaller" I tell her feeling very inadequate.   
"You may very well have something called dyscalculia. It's similar to dyslexia but involves math skills more than reading skills. You are most certainly not stupid though, ok." Marva says and I shrug.  
"So do you like a particular kind of music" she asks to continue the conversation.   
"Yeah I love old school rock, Metallica and AC-DC are my favorites. They're my go to music, it helps me calm down. I only listen to it in Lydia and my room but not a lot because Lyd's isn't a fan of it. I've been thinking of asking Derek if I could have some headphones but I don't want to cause trouble" I admit.   
"I think that's a good idea to ask him. How have you been living with him as your guardian?" She inquires.   
"It's been ok especially after I misunderstood what he wanted a couple months ago." I tell her still feeling bad about that day.   
"What happened, are you comfortable telling me" she asks.   
"He didn't do anything I uh thought he wanted me you know like sexually. He threw up when he saw me in his room." I say softly  
"How did you feel about that" Marva asks.   
"Upset, I didn't mean to make him throw up. He later mentioned some stuff about when he was younger and I think I maybe reminded him of that. I don't trust him like Scott and Stiles but I don't think he'll hurt me either" I answer honestly.   
"I'm glad you've come that far to realize he won't hurt you. That's a huge step" she praises making me blush.   
"So I know you've known Stiles since before the orphanage and that you met Scott at the orphanage, can you tell me a bit about how you became close friends" she asks  
"Well like you said I've known Stiles for literally my whole life. We were raised together. Even though we lost mom and dad we got to keep Stiles so it helped a lot. Then Stiles introduced us to Scott cause he was his roommate. Then Lydia got in trouble and they separated me and her. I started screaming and got spanked for it then put in a bedroom that was dark. I don't remember the guy who came in he wasn't there very long. He came in and I was scared so I screamed. Scott heard me and came in and told the guy to leave. The guy laughed and told him to shut up and leave but he didn't even after the guy smacked him in the face. He was only 6 and stood up for me. The guy said ok finally and put me in the closet. He hurt Scott instead of me. Nobody knows about that though not even Lydia." I tell her.  
"Thank you for sharing it with me. Is that why you trust Scott?" She asks.   
"Yeah, he tried to always make me safe. He got hit a lot because he got in between me and the orphanage people. Stiles did too they're the only ones I feel safe around" I say.   
"We're kind of touching on it now but if you don't want to you don't have to but if you are ok will you tell me about the sexual abuse? " Marva questions and she seems so gentle that I feel it will be ok.   
"What about it" I ask softly.   
"When did it start" she asks  
"On my 8th birthday, one of the workers said he had a present for me. I didn't know what it was but I went with him anyway, guess that was stupid. He uh took his pants off and made me put my mouth on him. That happened a lot. It got really bad after our ninth birthday. Sometimes they'd make me watch what they did to Lydia or make her watch. They got really mad when we both started our period at ten yrs. old. But uh there was one time that I was 12 I think and I didn't have a period for a couple of months. Jonathan took me to a doctor. I'd seen him before and he never questioned the bruises. He got mad at Jonathan though this time and wanted to talk to him in the other room. When they came back Jonathan was really fucking mad. He made me get dressed and we went back to the orphanage. He said I had been extremely bad and had to stay in a room all by myself for the next two weeks. He gave me this medicine and a couple days later I had my period but it was really painful. He gave me some more medicine and I don't really remember much after that." I tell her I glance up to see a shocked look on her face before she goes more passive.   
"Allison thank you for sharing this with me. After those two weeks did they make you take any other medicine " She asked   
"Yeah they gave me birth control because they said I was a slut and they didn't want me to get pregnant" I say and then realize why it's significant.   
"Oh my god. Oh god that's why he, oh god no no no" I start panicking and make a dash for the door. I fly by Lydia and the guys without stopping until I'm in the bathroom where I proceed to lose every bit of my breakfast. I sit there sobbing not even turning when I hear someone come in.   
"Ally-cat it's me" Lydia says sitting next to me.   
"Oh god Lyds, I was pregnant" I cry and she wraps her arms around me.   
"I know I remember, I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you. You didn't remember after he gave you drugs. I was there with you with uh everything that happened afterwards but you were so out of it honey. I couldn't bring myself to tell you. Please don't hate me." She begs beginning to cry.   
"I don't hate you, I understand. I need to know though. What did it look like" I ask through sobs.   
"I can't Ally cat please, I can't" she says shaking her head.   
"Did it look like a baby" I whisper unable to stop myself. She nods but doesn't elaborate. I then notice Marva standing nearby. She approaches us cautiously.   
"I'm sorry, Allison. I should have been more cautious in my questions. I didn't want this to hit you like that." She says sitting down next to us. I take a few steadying breaths.   
"It's ok. I think maybe I knew already and just was avoiding thinking about it" I tell her.   
"We can end the session if you'd like but if you feel ok enough we can go back to my office for a little bit. We don't have to talk about this anymore." Marva clarifies. I nod.   
"Can Lydia stay with me" I ask softly.   
"Yeah that's fine, I just want to make sure you’re feeling more solid before I let you go, ok" she says and we both nod and follow her back to her office.   
"Are you ok" Scott asks when he sees us approach.   
"Yeah, we're going back in there" I tell him and he nods and sits down even though he's obviously confused. When we go back into Marva's office she has us each sit in a chair with our feet touching the floor.   
"Ok, do either of you have a place that you feel completely safe?" She asks  
"Our bedroom at Derek's house" I answer after a moment and Lydia agrees.   
"Ok that's good. I want you to both close your eyes and picture being in there, get the smells, the sounds" she continues.   
"Now anytime you feel these memories or feelings creeping in or if you just feel unsafe I want you to imagine being in the room. We will have to see what works best for each of you but for now let's focus on breathing. You both see the room " she asks and I nod, assuming Lydia does as well because she continues.   
"Now take a deep breath in, smell the scents of your room, maybe the detergent in the sheets" she suggests and then breath out. Now I want you to continue doing that and counting each breath up to ten silently all the while seeing your safe place" she says. I feel much calmer when she tells us to open our eyes.   
"Ok I want you to both work on that technique" she says and we nod in sync.   
"Are you feeling better, Allison" she questions and I nod.   
"Yeah I mean I can almost guarantee that I'll be having nightmares tonight but for now I'm actually ok" I admit.   
"Good and as for the nightmares, I'd like you to journal them, get them out of your head, it seems silly but it eventually will help." Marva tells us.  
We talk a little more but soon leave the office. Derek is there as well now and is talking with Mrs. Ortega from the school.   
"What are you doing here, Mrs. Ortega" I ask and she smiles.   
"Well right now we're waiting for your social worker to call back because I'd like to take the four of you shopping but I want to make sure that's ok first" she says. Derek's phone rings startling him and making me smile.  
"Hey Alice, yeah she's right here, hold on" he says and hands Mrs. Ortega the phone. She answers several questions before handing the phone back to Derek.   
"She said it was ok" he says after hanging up.   
"Good they can go do that and you and I can talk" Marva says to Derek causing him to make a face. We all agree and then follow Mrs. Ortega out to her car. She insists we call her Lauren. She drives to the mall and gives us each a card.   
"Where'd these come from" Stiles asks suspiciously.   
"Oh it's from donations people made for you guys after the story of the orphanage made news. There's $500 on each card. You don't have to spend it all but I'd like if you each were able to get some new clothes, ones that you actually want to wear not just hand me downs." She says and we all try not to choke at the amount. We head inside and I find a store called Hot Topic and I fall in love immediately. Lauren looks like she's won a jackpot when I pick out five new outfits and a couple pieces of cool looking jewelry. One is a long necklace with a skull and the other is a spiky black and hot pink bracelet. Stiles and Scott both get clothes from a place called American Eagle and Lydia finds outfits from Deb and Charlotte Russe. Then we go to a store that has like bedroom decorations and stuff. I find an awesome comforter set that has Jack Skellington on it. The Nightmare Before Christmas was one of the few movies we were allowed to actually watch at the orphanage and one that I absolutely love. Lydia chooses one that to me looks fitting to a palace, it's beautiful with red and gold. I roll my eyes when Stiles and Scott both just pick random plain comforter sets. We also each get a nice pair of headphones. Then we finally head to a store called books-a-million. I fall in love instantly because books smell amazing. Scott laughs when he catches me sniffing a book. I find some awesome sounding books by an author named Ted Dekker. I get ten different ones because half of them are a series. Lydia found the complete works of Shakespeare and Stiles and Scott both choose comics but I see a couple of art books in Stiles pile and a couple of books of poetry in Scott's. By this point we're all starting to get tired and Lauren says Derek will meet us back at the house. She programs her number into our phones in case we ever need help with school or anything. When we get to the house Derek has a pot of chili ready and we sit down to watch The Avengers because "it's epic" according to Derek. We follow the movie with the first Iron man and by then we're all ready for bed even though it's only 4 in the afternoon. Derek says it's ok so we head to our rooms and crash.

Derek's POV   
I walk into Marva's office and sit down with a huff.   
"You do realize your not 16, right" she says and I smirk.   
"Yeah but I'm ok, I don't need more therapy" I whine and she laughs.   
"Well then don't look at this as a therapy session, look at it as more of a support branch for you because you know your mother reached out with all the foster kids she took in. You have to have an outlet" she says and I nod   
"Yeah I can't deny that" I admit  
"How are you really holding up" she asks seriously.   
"Mostly ok. Kinda terrified I'm going to screw them up more" I admit to her.   
"That's too be expected. It's going to take a lot of healing to help them but you’re already doing an amazing job. They trust you, maybe not completely but they do trust you and that's a huge deal, Derek" Marva reminds me.   
"Yeah I know" I tell her.   
"Good, I know this has brought back quite a bit for you, how are you dealing with that" she questions.   
"It was never that bad for me" I try and she gives me an unimpressed look.   
"Well it wasn't. Hell they were terrified to even breath wrong. I had nightmares and stuff but it wasn't that bad" I try to make her see.   
"Derek, just because their experiences were different doesn't lessen yours. If you go to that mindset you'll end up feeling guilty when old emotions push forward." She says gently.   
"Yeah I know. They've already triggered me a few times" I admit slumping forward.   
"I figured that they had with some things they've said" she says.   
"Oh god what did they say" I blurt out, suddenly feeling like I've done something to hurt them.   
"Both Scott and Allison talked about an incident of misunderstanding" she says and I know what she's talking about instantly. I'd had nightmares for two weeks afterwards. I cringe slightly.   
"Scott told me he offered you his belt, on a scale of one to ten how badly did that trigger you" she asks.   
"Probably about a seven, it wouldn't have been that bad but Allison actually triggered me at like an eleven" I admit. "I actually threw up when I realized what she thought I wanted " I finish telling her.   
"Yeah Allison told me. She even realized it triggered memories for you. She still feels bad about it. Did you journal about it?" She asks  
"Yeah and I have kinda taken to talking to mom about everything" I tell her feeling a bit embarrassed.   
"There's nothing wrong with that, Derek." She assures me. I shrug but don't actively disagree.  
"So how can I make things easier on them" I ask.   
"Well they have been taught that they are burdens so it's going to take a bit to get them to actively ask for things. My advice is to give them suggestions of things to buy, things you might have wanted at that age. You could even do something like I remember when my mom got me (blank). I know you struggled with feeling like a burden so this is one area you can definitely help them in." She says.   
"Ok, yeah I definitely know what it's like to feel like a burden. I've been wondering, do I tell them about my past. I mean I told them I lost my family at 10 and briefly mentioned 'her' and that I was in foster care but I don't want them to feel like I'm saying 'oh you had this happen', my whole family was murdered by my teacher so she could have sex with me" I say causing Marva to frown  
"It wasn't sex, Derek. It was rape" she reminds me.   
"I know but you get what I mean. I don't want them to think I'm trivializing what they went through" I say and she nods.   
"Well if you’re comfortable enough tell them they can ask you anything about your past and leave it open." She suggests.   
"Ok I like that idea, so am I like good to go now" I ask hopefully.   
"Almost, just one more thing" she says giving me a knowing look.   
"Ugh, Marva" I whine.   
"I could make you say it in front of a mirror" she says and I huff.   
"I am not my past, only those who abused me are responsible, I'm a kind and loving individual. I am not broken, I'm healing from the destruction of my childhood" I say and inwardly admit I feel much better.   
"Good, I'm going to see them each once a week but not all on the same day. I'll do one each day and I'll leave Fridays open for you. You don't have to come each week unless I find out you need to come and don't" she informs me.   
"Ok, sounds good to me" I tell her and she walks me out. Once I get back home I start making a pot of chili. I'm somewhat surprised by all the things the kids bring home but am ecstatic that they finally have chosen things for themselves. I introduce them to the Avengers and Iron-man before they decide to call it a night. I head to bed not long after them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost warning is for the now added tag of forced abortion. Allison while talking to the therapist realizes that one of the abusers got her pregnant and subsequently forced her to have an abortion by giving her drugs. Lydia knows about this instant.
> 
> Scott remembersmirks how his family died and talks about it pretty graphically. He regressed to child like words which make it a bit more horrifying at least to me
> 
> Rape, self harm, physical abuse and reactions to trauma are also mentioned throughout


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, my apologies for taking so long to get this chapter out. I really need to go back to my therapist because things just aren't going well for me right now but I'm trying to just keep going, some days getting up is a challenge. Anyway enough about me here is the next chapter. I haven't corrected grammar but i wamted to get a chapter out, warnings at the end. This chapter is pretty heavy and dark. 
> 
> Oh and uh I'm very much like Stiles when I go into a research binge. And yes I have researched what he does in this chapter, lol.
> 
> So I apparently left out a section of writing, no idea how but anyway it's added now. Sorry about that.

Stiles POV  
It's nearly noon before we all get up. The four of us are sleeping in a pile in the living room. We all had nightmares off and on. The last time, around 4am, it was Scott who woke up screaming and we made our way to the living room and crashed in a pile. Derek came in briefly around 7. I told him what was up and he said ok before going back to his room.   
"Well that was sucky" Allison says stretching as she wakes up.  
"Yeah no kidding" Scott says rubbing her arm.  
"Let's go find something to eat" I suggest and am accompanied by Lydia's stomach growling. We laugh and make our way to the kitchen. Derek comes in a moment later.  
"Hey, you guys ok" he asks.  
"Yeah just a rough night" I tell him.  
"Been there, especially after a therapy session with Marva, she's good though. It does eventually get better." Derek explains.  
"How long did it take to become easier for you" Scott asks  
"It kinda depends really. I mean I still had nightmares for years but she gave me ways to deal with them." Derek says.  
It's quiet for a moment as we all digest that.  
"So what do you guys want for breakfast or well lunch I guess now." Derek asks to which none of us answer.  
"Hmm, ok well we can either go full breakfast with like bacon and eggs and stuff or we could skip that and just do lunch with tomato soup and grilled cheese, you guys choose" he says.   
"What's easier for you" Allison asks softly.  
"It doesn't matter either way, what do you want to eat?" Derek questions.  
"Breakfast" I say and look questioningly to the others. Scott nods.  
"Sounds good to me" Lydia admits  
"Allison?" I ask.  
"Yeah breakfast sounds really good. Would it be ok if we help" she asks timidly.  
"Yeah, only if you truly want to though, not because you feel like you have to" Derek makes sure we know.   
"No I, uh, I really like to cook." Allison admits softly.  
"Cool, the pans are under the stove. Go ahead and put two out one for eggs and one for bacon." Derek says. Allison smiles and does as he asked. I grab plates to set on the table and Lydia gets glasses out. Scott kinda looks like a lost puppy.  
"Dude kitchen stuff is not your forte, just sit down" I tell him and he does after scowling at me.  
"I only caught a pan on fire once" he mumbles but Derek turns around with a raised eyebrow. Lydia and Allison giggle. Scott sighs and I plop down beside him to launch into the story.  
"Ok so there was this one week we got left alone at the orphanage because everyone else went on a trip and Scott decided he could make us dinner. He put on a pot of water to boil and forgot about it." I say and start laughing.  
"How was I supposed to know it evaporated out when boiling" Scott says jokingly exasperated. Derek snorts at that.  
"How old were you" he asks and Scott huffs.  
"14, it was last year." He admits and Derek shakes his head smiling.  
"The best part was after we put the fire out. “Lydia says and sets off giggling.  
"Oh yeah he goes, ‘guys the water disappeared!’" Allison says and we all laugh.  
"Ok so cooking 101 will be on your schedule" Derek says jokingly before scooping out another egg. We manage to get everything cooked and as we eat just talking amicably.  
"Ok so I have a surprise for you guys" Derek says as we finish eating.  
"Uh ok" I say and feel unsure.  
"No it's a good surprise, I promise.” He assures us. "Follow me, please" he says and we follow him silently to the other side of the house. We walk into what he called the workroom and all of our jaws drop. There are desks with each of our names on them a computer and laptop sitting on each one.  
"How did you, why I mean but" I start to say and Derek smiles.  
"It wasn't me I promise. It was a non-profit group called Compact Family Services. They help the community foster system, my mom helped set it up. They called me last night and said they'd heard about the issues with the school and they wanted to set all of you up for the online classes that Alice is arranging." Derek says. I grab Lydia's hand and squeeze gently as I see her wipe away a tear.  
"But no one has ever done stuff like this before" Allison says after a moment of silence.  
"Maybe not but you deserve to be treated well." Derek says. None of us really know how to respond to that.  
"So uh the computers are ready to go, do you guys know how to set up passwords and stuff" he asks.  
"Yeah we used computers quite a bit at school." Scott says before I can say something sarcastic.  
"Oh, good. I'll let you guys get familiar with them. You can take the laptops anywhere you need. Oh and Alice will be here in about an hour or so to set up the school stuff. I'll be in my office if you need me" Derek says and leaves awkwardly.  
"This is super crazy, are we going to wake up and this all be a dream" Allison says leaning against Scott.  
"It sure feels that way." I admit and we start checking out the computers.  
Allison POV  
Stiles immediately gets caught up in a research binge over god knows what with Lydia peering over his shoulder. Scott pulls up a game of pinball excitedly and proceeds to lose every game. I giggle and sit down to my computer. I put my username as buttercup77 and giggle a bit as I come up with a mash-up for Scott and my name. Alli-cott, nah, hmm maybe Scison, no that sounds weird. Scallison, that works. Yay. I set it up and get to the home screen.  
"Ally what was that weird little happy dance about?" Stiles asks. Of course he'd notice.  
"Uh nothing just excited about having my own computer." I lie smoothly. He rolls his eyes and goes back to what he was doing. Lydia has also started up her computer. It seems like no time has passed at all when Alice shows up.  
"Do you all like your computers?" She asks.  
Scott nods in affirmative as Lydia and I answer yes. Lydia pokes Stiles who flails slightly before noticing Alice.  
"Oh hey there, I was just looking into the origin of paper plates, do you know how we got them" he asks her.  
"For the love of all things holy tell him you do" Scott begs. Stiles scowls at him and Alice smiles.  
"Maybe you can tell me some other time. I'm here to set you up with online classes. Who wants to go first" she asks. Lydia volunteers and gets excited when she can choose what classes to take. I go next and Alice has me take a quick test first that makes me feel completely stupid. She doesn't even tell me the results. I choose classes that I think will be easy for me and she moves on to Scott. I excuse myself to the bathroom. I lock the door and grab my hidden box from behind the toilet. I have two new bright shiny razors. It's convenient that I wear mostly long shirts, they hide the scars. I make two fresh cuts one on each arm before cleaning up the razor and putting it back. I enjoy the burn a bit before cleaning the cuts too. I hate being so inadequate. I wipe away the few stray tears and head out of the bathroom and straight into Derek, literally.  
He helps he stand back up.  
"Sorry, didn't mean to knock you down" he says. I shrug.  
"It's ok" I tell him my voice betraying my shaky emotions. He frowns.  
"Are you alright" he asks.  
"Yeah, just had to take a test thing probably to see how stupid I am before setting up classes." I admit.  
"Allison, you're not stupid." He says softly.  
"Thanks but yeah I kinda am. If you don't believe me ask Alice what my results were I'm sure they'll prove it." I say  
"Did you score badly" he asks cautiously.  
"She didn't tell me but I know what it will say" I say resigned.  
"Well tests are stupid most of the time anyway, no matter what it says you're still not stupid." He proclaims. I shrug but don't say anymore. We've walked back to the computer room by this time.  
"How's things going in here" Derek says as we walk in.  
"Well they're all set up for classes. I can monitor their progress through my own computer but I'll come by a couple times a month to be a test administrator." Alice tells me.  
"Dude, did you know that the guy that invented paper plates had his idea stolen and almost didn't get the credit for inventing one of the most useful things ever." Stiles blurts out. Scott rolls his eyes.  
"Why were you even researching that?" He asks and Stiles face lights up.  
"No wait, stop I don't want to know how thinking about a burrito or something led to Mexico and some random thing until you got to paper plates" Scott says. "It wasn't a burrito" Stiles grumps and Derek laughs. "Stiles do you have ADHD?" He asks and we all laugh. "Well yeah but I haven't been on any medication for a couple of years. I uh got it taken away" he says and we all lose our smiles. "Do you need to be back on it" Derek asks unaware of the mood shift. "Yeah kinda. I'll be better with it than last time, I promise" He says looking at us, not Derek. Scott and I nod and Lydia puts a hand on his shoulder. "Ok well I'll see what I can do about getting that set up." He says purposely not asking what had just happened. Alice walks out with him and I silently follow. "So did they have to take like placement tests or anything" I hear Derek ask. "Well sort of, I had my suspicions that they were above average intelligence so I had them take an IQ test. They all scored fairly high. Allison actually scored the highest though I suspect there's a learning disability with math, possibly dyscalculia but I need to do some consulting to make sure before handing that out. Plus I don't finalize the tests so I have to wait for the results to come in." Alice says. "That might be part of why she thinks she's stupid then. Could you maybe put a rush on the tests so we can prove to her she's not stupid" Derek asks. "I'll see what I can do" she says and leaves. I sneak away but not before Derek walks out and catches me. "I'm sorry" I whisper and look at my feet. I try to remind myself that he won't hurt me but still tense as he walks closer to me. "Allison, please look at me" he says softly. I do as asked slowly. "I'm not mad, ok" he says and I nod. "I'm would prefer it if you didn't eavesdrop on my conversations but you’re not in trouble" he tells me again.   
"I, I'm sorry. Are you sure that I'm not in trouble" I ask my chest tightening in what I recognize as a panic attack. Before he can respond Lydia comes in.  
"There you are, we were wondering where you ran off to, what's going on " she asks stopping beside me.   
"I was bad" I tell her softly.   
“No Allison, you weren't. It's ok" Derek tries. I feel tears pooling in my eyes and take off towards our bedroom. I throw myself on my bed trying to muffle the sobs into my pillow. I jerk when a hand touches me.  
"Shh, it's just me" Scott says but moves his hand. I roll over and wrap my arms around him. He pets my hair until the sobs subside. "What happened" he prompts gently.  
"I eavesdropped on Derek and Alice. He caught me and he wasn't mad or anything but I felt bad and then I felt panicked and remembered something similar happening at the orphanage and that stupid test made me upset and I just idk" I ramble out hiccupping a few times. Scott just holds me until I stop shaking.   
"You ok now" he asks when I pull away. I nod.   
"I should tell Derek what happened so he doesn't think he upset me" I say. Scott nods and we walk out to find Stiles and Lydia sitting outside the door. "I'm ok" I assure them and we go to find Derek. He's in the kitchen and looks kinda tense but he smiles when he sees me.  
"Are you ok" he asks.  
"Yeah uh it wasn't you that upset me, just you know, memories" I tell him. He nods and I sigh in relief.   
"Well we all have introductions for our classes so we'd better get to it." Lydia says to ease the awkward silence. Once back in the computer room Stiles hugs me unexpectedly.  
"I'm sorry if memories got brought up because of me" he mumbles into my shoulder. I hug him tightly.   
“No, it wasn't you." I promise him. He nods.   
"But speaking of, when you get your meds back one of us will keep them for you." Scott says. "Look I know what I did was stupid. I swear I won't do it again. How about if I let you keep track of how many there are each night and then lock them up outside of my room at night" Stiles says.   
“Ok Bro, but you have to promise to not flip out if one of us thinks we need to take charge of them." Scott agrees. Stiles nods and we get to work.  
Scott's POV  
I know I should be working on my school stuff but I'm caught in one of my worst memories  
4 yrs previous  
"You know Scotty, sometimes I wish I had died in the massacre. Everyone would be better off" Stiles slurs. We stole some vodka from Jonathan's office.  
"Don't say that, the girls and I need you." I say dramatically. He laughs.  
"Guess so" he says.  
"What the hell do you two pieces of shit think you're doing" Jonathan roars starling us.  
"What the fuck does it look like Johnny boy, want sum" Stiles offers and I giggle. Jonathan drags him to his feet while I'm grabbed from behind.  
"You two are in some serious shit this time" he says shaking Stiles. I groan as Matt shakes me hard as well to stop my hysterical giggling. I can't stop the vomit that sprays all over him. Matt throws me down and my head bounces off the ground. It sobers me up fairly quickly.  
"Your going to pay for that you little shit" Matt yells. I cringe as he comes towards me.  
"Take him inside first" Jonathan orders. Once inside they lock us in the punishment room and leave. They're back rather quickly and they bring in a television. Matt has a paddle with holes drilled into it. It's rare that they actually spank us anymore but I don't say anything.  
"Get into position, little bastard" he says. I do so wordlessly. He doesn't waste any time laying the strikes down. By the time he finishes I can feel blood running down my legs. Stiles has not fared much better. Jonathan drags two chairs in front of the television and motions for us to sit down. He ties us to the chairs and grins.  
"I decided to let you watch some tv tonight. See you in the morning." He says after pushing play and walks out.  
The tv starts playing what looks like a homemade video. Stiles pales immediately.  
"No" he whispers before gunshots erupt. I'm forced to watch as several people are shot and killed. I see a young boy appear and hear Stiles gasp. A name that sounds like a tongue twister is shouted before a woman appears and throws herself in front of the boy. Several shots hit her and a man runs towards her as she falls.  
"Run son" he says before also being gunned down. The boy disappears from sight. Stiles is sobbing beside me. I realize what I've just seen and feel sick. The video switches but is always the same. Brutal deaths everywhere. Once it ends Stiles sits in silence. I don't know what to even say so I stay quiet too. At some point Jonathan comes back in.  
"Aww did you not like my movie" he mocks. Stiles makes no comment for once.  
"You know Stiles, I've seen this several times now. I can't believe your parents had to die because of you. Maybe if you hadn't been born they'd still be alive." He says as he untied us both.  
"Go take showers, you smell like shit" he says. Stiles looks haunted.  
"Hey you know he's wrong right" I say one we're alone in our room.  
"No he's not. I saw a dog and even though my father told me to stay where I was I disobeyed. I ran after it. It's my fault they died" he says almost robotically. I sigh knowing I won't be able to convince him. He lays down and doesn't even get up for dinner. I decide to sneak some back for him. After dinner the girls come with me hoping together we can cheer him up a bit. As I come into the room Stiles is laying on the floor.  
"Oh my god" Lydia screams. I run to him and turn him over. I notice the empty bottle of Adderall in his hand. He's wheezing and his lips are turning blue. Allison screams and two workers come running.  
"Oh shit" one says and pulls Stiles roughly out of my arms.  
"Stop" I cry and get knocked backwards. They haul Stiles out, Lydia and Allison help me up both have tears streaming down their face. It's over a week before they return Stiles. I cry immediately.  
"I'm sorry" he mutters as I cling to him.  
"We thought you were dead" I manage to tell him between sobs. He hugs me back and cries as well.  
Present day.  
"Come on Scott, snap out of it" a voice says and I gasp, blinking a few times. Stiles is standing next to me.  
"You ok" he asks and I nod but look away. He sighs knowing exactly what I had disassociated to. He helps me get my intro stuff finished before Derek comes in to tell us dinner is ready. We are quieter than usual throughout dinner but Derek doesn't seem to mind. Afterwards we watch the second Iron Man movie before heading off to bed. Stiles comes in my room after we tell the girls goodnight.  
"You went back to right before I did it huh." He says as he sits on my bed.  
"Yeah" I say.  
"I'm sorry, god I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to find me like that but it was just all I could think about" he says his voice breaking.  
"I know. If they had somehow had a copy of my parents death and made me watch it I'd be suicidal too. I know things are different now but after that I just really need the reassurance that you'll talk to me first" I tell him. He hugs me.  
"I promise that I'll at least tell someone. It's next month you know" he says.  
"The anniversary? " I question. He nods.  
"We'll stick together, maybe have a candle lighting thingy" I suggest. Stiles snorts.  
"You mean a candlelight vigil?" He asks and I nod.  
"Maybe, we'll have to ask the girls." He says yawning.  
"Ok, go to bed you doofus" I say yawning myself.  
"Look who's talking" he says as he heads out. I shake my head and turn out the light before laying down.  
Lydia's POV  
"Did you get upset because of the testing thing" I ask after the boys tell us goodnight.  
"Yeah. I hate tests. I always feel so stupid during them." I admit  
"You are not stupid, Ally-cat." I tell her.  
"When I eavesdropped on Derek and Alice I heard her say something about a learning disability, dyscalculia, she called it. Marva mentioned it too" Allison says.  
"It's probably possible then. I mean in every subject except math you get higher grades than me so maybe this dyscalculia has something to do with that. We can look it up tomorrow" I suggest. She smiles.  
"Yeah let's just not ask Stiles to research it" she says. I smile but she catches the pain in my eyes.  
"You thinking about when he overdosed?" She asks. I nod.  
"That was terrifying. Are you sure he'll be ok taking the pills again" Allison questions.  
"No but I know Scott will keep a close watch on him. He still blames himself for it" I admit.  
"I know. Next month is the anniversary" she says sighing. I nod.  
"Let's just try to get some sleep " I suggest. I fall asleep rather quickly but nothing good comes of the dreams that follow.  
Nine yrs previous  
"Ally, Ally, ally" I holler running through the house.  
"What" she yells back.  
"It's our birthday, dad said they're bringing something super special back, I hope it's a puppy" I tell her.  
"That would be sweet" she says and we run through the house together.  
"No running, you will hurt yourselves" Marie the housekeeper says smiling.  
"Nu-uh, we're 'vincible" Allison tells her.  
"Oh why is that" she asks  
"Duh cause it's our birthday" I explain to her she laughs  
"Well then we wouldn't want any injuries today, even invincible people get injuries sometimes." She says and there's a knock at the door. Allison and I go back to playing.  
"What, no. That can't happen. Oh god, not today" I hear Marie say. Allison and I stop and wander towards the door. Marie is crying.  
"What's wrong Marie" I ask and she turns to us before turning back to the policeman who's at the door.  
"Girls, I'm afraid I have some bad news." He says and leads us to the couch.  
"There's been an accident " he begins and I know right away.  
"Where's our mom and dad?" I ask. He sighs.  
"They were in a store when a bomb went off. I'm sorry but they didn't make it out" he says.  
"So they're trapped" Allison asks hopefully. The officer nearly loses his composure as he shakes his head.  
"They're dead" I all but whisper and the man nods. Allison screams before bursting into tears. Marie holds us both close.  
Current day  
I shoot up out of bed gasping. I have tears on my face that I wipe away before reaching under my bed. I glance over to make sure Allison is still asleep before taking the razor to my thighs. My breathing settles enough that once I clean things up I can fall asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Underage drinking, physical abuse, forcing children to watch a massacre that involved their family, name calling due to possible learning disorder, descriptive self harm, suicide attempt uh and I think that's it.  
> And yes dyscalculia is real, I have it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty warnings will be posted at the end as always.  
> A teensy bit of my nerd-Ness creeps in on this chapter, lol. Parts of it are super dark but a lot of it is light too.

Derek's POV  
After the teens head to bed I decide to take a shower, hoping it will relax me. I set a towel down on the closed toilet and hear something clatter. I find a small box with razor blades and some disinfectant inside.   
"Shit" I mutter and grab my phone. I shoot Marva text while pacing back and forth barely keeping from panicking.  
D - I just found a homemade self harm kit hidden in the bathroom, do I keep it, confront them, or what?  
M: Firstly calm down and do some breathing exercises. For the time being leave it where it is but in the morning find time to slip in your story with self harm and make sure they know they can talk to you. It's likely one of the girls but I could be wrong. Also keep watch on their moods if you think one may be suicidal talk to them about it. And most importantly remember that you are stronger than your past and your mother would be so proud of what you're doing with them.  
I try not to cry at the praise but do feel calmer after counting my breathing  
D : thanks.  
I send and then take my shower. I'm up early the next morning and have breakfast ready when the teens pile in. I spent half the night thinking on how to broach the subject with them and decided to just go for it.   
"So I was thinking, you guys don't really know a whole lot about me so I thought I could share a bit about my past, if that's ok." I begin nervously. I'm surprised that they all agree fairly quickly.   
"Well I was in the house when my family died. I got trapped in a small corner and I heard them dying. Afterwards I felt guilty that I survived and they didn't. I took to cutting myself partly out of punishment to myself and partly just so I could feel. No one wanted to keep a ten year old that screamed every night. One couple decided I must have evil in me and tried to beat it out of me. I stayed with them for about a year or so before my social worker realized what was happening. Then I met the foster parents I call my own. But things didn't get better immediately. Actually around the time I was you guys age, I was still cutting, my parents had no idea because I was extremely cautious about it. Anyway, one day, a kid said something about me being an orphan because I killed my family. I cut too deep by accident and then it all came out. Talia, my mom was really great about it. She asked me to just talk to her when I felt like cutting. She knew I would be able to get more razors than what had been taken. At first I didn't but one day I got the courage to tell her I wanted to cut but hadn't yet. She hugged me and told me she was proud of me. Then we sat down and played board games for a couple of hours. Every time she did something to distract me from that mood. Sometimes it didn't work but sometimes it did. I was able to stop completely by the time I was 19. So I know I can never even try to imagine half of what you've been through but if you need a listening ear, I'm here. I promise to not get angry, no matter what you say. And you can ask me anything about my past because there is more but I didn't want to get to into detail." I finish and am surprised that I'm not feeling panicky.   
"Thanks for telling us. For what it's worth I'm sorry you know what it's like to lose your parents. I uh I saw my parents die too" Stiles admits making me want to cry.   
"I'm sorry you saw that as well, Stiles" I tell him genuinely.   
"So uh did you ever get locked up because of cutting yourself?" Allison asks not looking at me.   
"No, my mom refused to do that. I did start seeing Marva about this time though. Why do you ask" I question gently.  
"No reason, just curious" she says and still refuses to look at me.   
"Ok well I guess you guys should get started on the school stuff huh" I say to ease the awkward transition.   
"Yeah I'm sure we have a lot of stuff, come on guys. Uh thanks for sharing that with us" Stiles says and leads the way out. I start cleaning the dishes zoning out a bit and startling when Allison appears beside me.   
"Sorry didn't mean to make you jump" she says twisting her hair nervously.   
"It's ok, did you need something" I ask hopefully.   
"You found it, didn't you" she says  
"Found what" I ask wanting to be sure  
"What was hidden behind the toilet" she says and I nod.   
"I didn't take it though." I tell her honestly.   
"I know, I looked before coming here. It was in a different position than what I had it in. I moved it" she admits.  
"Ok, so do you want to talk to me about it" I ask her carefully. She shakes her head.   
"Are you going to kick me out" she whispers  
"No, of course not. I know right now you don't believe this but what you're doing is dangerous" I try.   
"No, I'm always careful. And I don't do it a lot just sometimes when it gets bad" she counters.   
"And you can stop anytime, right" I ask and she nods. "That's what I thought too. Does your sister or the others know about it." I ask not expecting the response.   
"No, no please don't tell them. I'll do whatever you want just don't tell them" she begs me suddenly a lot closer to me. I back up a few steps before speaking.   
"Firstly, don't say things like that. You never have to offer to do something for me in exchange for anything. And secondly I won't tell them but I think that you should. I need you to have someone you'll try to go to before resorting to cutting" I tell her and feel badly when she flinches at the word.   
"They'll be mad at me though." She admits.   
"I don't think they will be. And it doesn't have to be all of them, just one. And if you can, tell Marva. I know it's a scary idea but I can promise you that she will not have you locked up, ok." I say.   
"Ok I'll talk to my sister about it tonight" she says reluctantly. I smile.  
"Thank you" I tell her and she shrugs before heading back to the 'school room'. I turn back to the dishes and hope that I've done the right thing.  
Allison POV   
After having a mini heart attack thinking my razors would be gone I find them tucked away where they were, albeit in a slightly different position. I sigh and take them out and put them in my room under my mattress. I steel myself to go talk to Derek. I come out of the conversation feeling a bit better but confused. I figured that he would have either kicked me out or taken them away, not told me to confide in someone. I head back to get started on my new class work.   
" We were debating whether or not to send in a rescue team to the bathroom. We thought you might have fallen in" Stiles cracks as I walk in. I roll my eyes and head to my desk.   
"So are you like constipated or something " Stiles asks a couple minutes later, earning a reproving look from Lydia.   
"No, Stiles, thanks for the concern. I was talking to Derek." I admit. He looks shocked but recovers quickly.   
"Oh. Well good. Let's get cracking" he says as he literally pops all of his fingers before settling in to his work. Derek comes in a few hours later to remind us to come eat lunch.   
"Have to say I am loving this online stuff. Best way to do school ever" Stiles exclaims as he stands up.   
"Yeah it's nice to just be given the work and not have to worry about everyone around you being out to get you" Scott agrees as he comes up beside me as I shut my computer down. Lydia and Stiles are heading out when he grabs my wrist gently.   
"What were you talking to Derek about" he questions softly. I don't look at him and just shrug.   
"Stuff" I say and he sighs.   
"Are you cutting again" he asks and I nod before turning away. I don't want to see the look of disgust on his face.   
He puts a gentle hand on my shoulder.   
"Ally, it's ok. Please look at me. I turn slowly with blurry vision trying not to let the tears fall.   
"I'm sorry" I tell him.   
"I know. I'm not upset, really, but why didn't you tell me this time. You went almost a year without right" he questions and a sob sneaks out as I shake my head.  
"It only lasted two months before I gave in again. I didn't want you to hate me so I didn't tell you" I explain. He slowly puts his arm around me holding me gently.   
"I wouldn't have hated you, I still don't hate you. I could never hate you. I love you, Ally" he says before going completely rigid.   
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that" he says pulling away immediately.   
"Why are you saying sorry for that" I question.   
"Just everything that happened at the orphanage, I don't want you to think I want something from you" he admits. I open my arms for him to hug me again which he does reluctantly.   
"I trust you Scott. I know you won't do anything to me, and that you'll move at my pace which is turtle slow right now. I think I love you too" I admit and he sighs relaxing a bit into the hug.   
"May I kiss your forehead" he asks and I giggle slightly before nodding against his chest. He does gently and for once physical affection makes me feel safe instead of dirty.   
"Come on let's go get something to eat" he says and we walk together to the table where Stiles is in the middle of some rant about his new history class. Derek's eyes light up upon seeing us.   
"Hey guys" he interrupts Stiles who stops mid-sentence.  
"I was rambling, huh" he says and Lydia giggles.   
"It's adorably geeky when you do though" she says and Stiles groans dramatically when Derek snorts.   
"So Marva sent me a schedule of what days she wants to see each of you, starting next week since she saw you all Saturday. Stiles you will be on Monday, Lydia Tuesday, Scott Wednesday and Allison Thursday, does that sound ok for all of you" he asks we all agree that it is.   
"Ok well I know today is Monday but how about we chill the rest of the afternoon and watch movies" he suggests.   
"I don't know, shouldn't we do our work" Lydia asks all of us feeling unsure of not following the rules.   
"Well if you think there's anything that has to be done today go ahead but you don't have to follow a strict schedule and I know Saturday was hard on all of you" he says.   
"Yeah that's for sure" Stiles mutters. We finally agree to do one more hour of work and then relax. Derek says it's a good compromise.  
Stiles POV   
I finish my work a little earlier than the others and decide to do part of my therapy homework. I pull out my list out of my pocket.   
Ask Derek for things  
Music  
Games  
Art stuff  
Criminology books  
Driver's license  
I sigh and decide to just ask about the music because that at least won't cost him anything. I'll worry about the other things later, possibly never.   
I take a few deep breaths as I walk to find Derek in the living room.   
"Hey Stiles" he says smiling and putting down the book he's reading.   
"Uh well I have a question" I say feeling my chest tighten.   
"Ok, shoot'' he says calmly.   
"Is it ok if, well I mean I know you got us phones and stuff but I was wondering if it's not too much trouble could I download music on my phone" I finally manage to spit out. I stare at the ground trying to keep the panic attack at bay.   
"Yeah that's totally cool, actually there's this app I have that you can use." Derek says pulling out his own phone to show me. I heave a sigh of relief before sitting near him to look at it.  
"You can download any of the free apps that strike your interest." Derek offers and I smile slightly.   
"Thanks" I say rubbing a hand over my head nervously.   
"No problem" he says as the others come in.   
"Ok have any of you watched the Star Wars films" Derek asks. We all say no and his eyes widen.   
"Ok definitely movie time. This requires popcorn though" he says seriously. Once we all have popcorn and drinks Derek clears his throat.   
"Now I personally prefer to watch these sacred movies in what is called the machete order. Which means we start with 4, 5, 2, 3, and then 6 and once we finish those we'll go see the new one that's in theaters, if you want" Derek says  
"Uh quick question, you didn't mention a one, was that on purpose?" Lydia asks  
"Oh it was completely purposeful. The first one is crap. I mean some people like it but uh yeah it sucks" Derek explains.   
"Ok, let's do this" I say excitedly. I've enjoyed getting the chance to watch all these new things. A little over six hours later we all are sitting entranced by the awesomeness known as Star Wars.   
"Uh so we should probably take a break get some dinner and stuff" Derek says as the credits to Attack of the Clones scrolls.   
"Yeah but we have two more, food's not really that important, right" I question and Derek snorts.   
"Yes food is important. I promise we'll watch the other two after we get dinner cooked.  
"What do you guys feel like having" he asks  
"Uh well do you have the stuff for meaty rice and gravy?” Lydia asks  
"Yeah we should. That sounds pretty good, do any of you want to help?” Derek asks and we all help in our own ways. Scott of course is delegated to non cooking related tasks. Finally dinner is ready and we settle back in for the next movie.  
"Ok these are the best series ever" I say as I yawn after the end of the sixth film. I glance at a clock to see its now 2:30 in the morning .  
"Wow it's really late" I comment.   
"Yeah but you are now all properly educated, young padawans." Derek states as he stands and bows before stretching.   
"So uh how soon can we see this new one that's out" Scott asks biting his lip.   
"Hopefully tomorrow night, the theater probably will be less crowded on a school night." Derek answers yawning.   
"Ok well let's hit the hay, thanks for this" I say sincerely. Derek nods.   
"No problem, everyone should see Star Wars at least once" he says and we separate to our rooms.  
Lydia's POV   
When we get to the room Allison sighs.   
"I have to tell you something" she says and sits on her bed.   
"What's up" I ask sitting next to her. She doesn't speak, just rolls up her sleeve. I feel my breath quicken.   
"Please don't hate me" she begs  
"No Ally-cat never, I just thought I was the only one" I admit.   
"You too" She asks and I nod before stripping out of my pants to show her my marks.   
"Derek knows about mine. He found my blades but didn't take them. He told me I should talk to you. Do you think maybe we should try what he suggested, to use distractions when we want to cut" she asks and I smile.   
"Yeah I think we should try it" I admit hugging her. I let go and finish getting ready for bed. I'm out the moment I lie down.   
For once I sleep without waking from nightmares. I glance at my phone to see its nearly noon. I scramble out of bed and wake Allison up gently. She still flails a bit before recognizing me.   
"Man I slept really well" she says yawning and stretching.   
"Yeah me too, it's noon though" I tell her. We dress and head to the living room.   
"Hey you guys are up, awesome! Guess what " Stiles says literally bouncing in place.  
"Dude chill" Scott says amused despite himself.   
"We're going to see the new Star Wars tonight" Stiles blurts out excitedly.   
"Really that's awesome" Allison says   
"Yeah it is" Stiles says still bouncing on his toes.   
"You need to drink a mountain dew or something, dude" Scott tells him and smiles but goes in search of said drink.   
"Hey uh was it ok that we slept this late" I ask.  
Scott nods   
"We've only been up about 20 minutes. We kinda freaked but Derek said it was ok." He explains.   
"Good" I say feeling relieved.   
"Oh hey Lydia, Allison " Derek says as he walks into the room  
"Hey" We both say.   
"So before the movie I was thinking maybe we could go out to eat. Would you guys be comfortable with that" Derek asks  
I feel iffy but hide it and look to Scott and Stiles for answers.   
"It should be ok, right" Stiles says as he takes a sip of his mountain dew and glances at us. I nod. It's not like we can stay locked up forever. We work on school stuff until its time to go. Allison is nervous as well but Stiles and Scott each hold one of our arms as we walk out.   
"So the place we're going is just kinda an old timey diner that my foster parents grandparents started. There shouldn't be too big of a crowd." Derek tells us as we drive. Once we get there we see its a relatively small restaurant called The Barn. There is a buffet inside and I'm filling my plate when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jump and turn seeing a guy that looks a bit older than me.   
"You’re one of the little bitches that got my brother killed aren't you" he says and I pull away.  
"I - I don't know what you are talking about" I stutter out honestly.   
He scowls.   
"Are you or are you not one of the orphans that got Penbrooke orphanage shut down" he asks angrily and I cringe.  
"Yes I am." I say softly.  
"My brother's name was Sam" he says and I flinch.   
"Yeah he got arrested for supposedly assaulting you, a couple other prisoners stabbed him to death" he says coming closer to me. Suddenly Derek is in between us.   
"Just what the hell do you think your doing" Derek yells at the man angrily. Stiles comes up and pulls me further away to stand with the others. The manager comes up to Derek and the other man.   
"John, get this piece of crap out of here" Derek says to the manager and the man laughs.   
"Yeah that's right big tough Derek will save the day. My brother didn't do anything to those girls. Hell they probably seduced him, stupid little whores" the man says before Derek punches him in the face sending him sprawling.  
"Ha, that's assault" the man says standing up and holding his hand to his now bleeding nose.   
"I didn't see anything”, John says, “Anyone else see anything" he asks. I'm shocked as every customer says no. Derek comes back over to where we are huddled.   
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten that angry. I just could not let him stand there and talk like that. Are you ok, Lydia " he asks. I nod feeling strangely ok even after seeing him angry.   
We sit down and finish eating even though Derek checks several times to make sure we don't want to leave.   
"This was supposed to be a relaxing easy going night for all of you" he says sounding somewhat defeated as we leave the restaurant.   
"Hey it still can be, let's just go see this new movie" I say and Derek smiles a bit.   
"Yeah let's do just that" he says and we head off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk of cutting, self harm, ect. 
> 
> Side note the reason I don't have Derek or the therapist confiscate them is because I know from personal experience that only ensures that the self harmer will find more and be even more secretive about them. This way a door is opened for talking, exposing the pain instead of shunning it. I do not recommend this for anyone who is unstable in a suicidal way. While the teens are unstable-ish none of them are suicidal, at least not right now. If you struggle with self harm I urge you to find someone safe to talk to or find ways to distract yourself when you feel like harming. My inbox is always open to listen.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright buckle up and keep all hands and feet inside at all times. Lol. No but really this chapter is pretty heavy. It's also my favorite which probably message I'm a bit of a psycho but to be fair some of it comes from my own past. But uh the massacre just kinda popped into my head. Anyway there are two sections that have a graphic warning on them and all the warnings will be listed at the end 
> 
> Ps sorry this wasn't out on Monday night. I had it typed but I use my phone and it screwed up and erased it when I tried to post it here. It upset me so I left it until I got finished with my 12 he shift Tuesday. It's only 12:06am on Wednesday so I almost got it in on Tuesday.

Lydia's POV   
"So have you been able to say the phrase we made up" Marva asks, I sigh.   
"Yeah but I don't really believe it" I admit.   
"That's ok, let's hear it now, please" she requests gently.   
"Yeah ok" I say and take a deep breath before speaking. "I am a beautiful whole young woman." I finish in monotone.  
"Good job, our next step is to look in a mirror and say it." Marva says.  
"Uh I don't really look in mirrors" I tell her hoping that will be the end of it.   
"That's understandable but I know you can do this, let's try now, come on over here" Marva asks and walks over to the far wall where there is a mirror. I follow her reluctantly. I glance in the mirror and then away.   
"It's ok. Just give it a try" Marva requests gently. I take a deep breath and look back at the mirror. It doesn't scream words like I thought it would.   
"I, I am a beautiful" I begin and have to look away.   
"I can't, I'm sorry, I cant" I say choking back a sob.   
"It's ok, you tried, that’s all I ask remember?. You'll get there" Marva promises. We walk back over and sit down.   
"Tomorrow is the anniversary of the Beacon Hills massacre and I know that it's also you and Allison's birthday, do you have anything planned?" She questions gently   
"No. We don't celebrate our birthday, we can't." I tell her.   
"That's understandable. I'm sure it wasn't easy in the orphanage. Do you want to talk about it " Marva asks   
"I guess so. We were never allowed to go to the vigil they do every year and if we got caught crying we'd be punished. Last year I ran from one of the workers and as punishment he made me watch videos from those two days. I uh really don't know how to get through the next couple of days" I say while biting my nail.   
"That’s ok, it’s what I’m here for. Have you been to the cemetery where they are buried?" She inquires.  
"No, we didn't really even go to their funeral." I tell her.   
"I think it would be good for you to go there. Maybe even talk to your parents. I also think you should go to the vigil, it would be good for all of you. What do you think" Marva asks, genuinely wanting to know  
"I like that. I'm afraid though that I might cry and cause a scene" I admit.   
"It would be good for you to cry. You never were allowed to properly grieve. Remember crying is not a weakness." She says.   
"Yeah maybe but it feels like it to me." I say with a shrug of my shoulders.  
"That's ok and very understandable given how the last nine years have been; but, you, your sister and friends are very strong and I have no doubt that you'll pull through all the crap, life has thrown your way." Marva says wholeheartedly.   
"I just don't see myself that way. I'm not really that strong. I've given into the urge to hurt myself after some nightmares. I sometimes talk with Allison and we distract ourselves but generally I just am crap at dealing with everything" I begin.   
"I know that you don't see it but you are strong and you've done fairly well at minimizing the self harm. What all do you have for distractions" Marva inquires   
"Not a whole lot. We have a couple of coloring books and we play games on our phones and last time we tried the grounding techniques that you taught us. The whole five things you can see, smell, taste, hear and it helped a lot with the fear after a nightmare. We keep a thing of peppermints in the room for that reason. But the uh rubber band on the wrist doesn't really help." I say feeling embarrassed.   
"That's ok, different things work for different people. Can you tell me why it didn't work" she asks.   
"Well it was a really bad nightmare where I got a choice of either physical or the other thing as punishment. I chose the other thing and was really upset with myself so I just kept snapping the rubber band on the same spot. It actually left bruises." I explain.   
"Ok, well you and your sister do have high pain tolerances and to an extent you may get a type of endorphin high from certain levels of pain. When you feel the need to punish yourself I want you to try something. Draw a little picture of yourself, it doesn't have to be fancy or anything it can just be a stick figure, and then rip it up. After that I want you to tell yourself that you forgive yourself for whatever it is. You didn't actually do anything wrong but I know that is not how you feel so we'll try this and see how it goes, sound ok" Marva asks  
"Do I have to actually tell myself that" I counter.   
"Yes, it will help you" she promises. I sigh but agree to at least try.   
"Good, now last week we talked about the times you said no to one of the abusers and we left off on the memories associated with water because of this. You said Sam and Walter were the ones who used the tub, right?" She asks and I nod.   
"Walter only did because Sam told him about it. Anytime I was with Sam in a room, the bathtub would already be filled as a reminder. The first time he did it was when he wanted to do more than just touch." I say my voice cracking as the memory flood in.  
Possibly triggering for graphic description of sexual abuse and rape

"Please don't, I'll be good. I'll suck on you again" I say from the corner where I ran to.   
"Hmm, maybe after but for now you get your ass back on the bed." Sam orders. I don't move. I was scared of him putting it in me.   
"Fine do things the hard way then" he says and grabs me by the hair and into the adjoining bathroom. He throws me down and starts filling up the bathtub. Once there's a lot of water he tells me to get in. I'm too scared not to obey. Once I'm in he shoves me under the water. I fight my way up once but he's too strong. Things are going dark when he pulls me up out of the water.   
"You gunna behave now" he yells and I nod as I'm coughing and choking furiously. He makes me walk or attempt to walk back to the bed and I lay down. He gets on top of me and pushes himself in me. It hurts really bad and I scream. He puts a hand over my mouth until he's finished. I'm left alone crying and bleeding.  
End triggering part

I take a deep breath and let it out as I look at Marva.   
"How old were you" she asks gently.   
"Nine. Jonathan came in at some point and put me back in the now really cold water to clean me and then he said that even if I told anyone his brother would make sure that nothing happened and then I'd have to come back to the orphanage and he would make sure that I regretted it" I explain to her.   
"Lydia, I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I can never completely erase the pain but I hope by talking through this we'll help you begin to heal. Now you said something about offering to do something for him. How often did he make you perform orally on him" Marva continues.   
"A lot. That was one of the first things that happened. Jonathan sometimes made me sit in his lap and he would put his hand in my pants and rub me. Sam saw him one day and then I was told to go with him. He took me to his room and he said he wanted to see if I could be his good little girl then he pulled himself out and made me put my mouth on him." I explain.   
"Well contrary to popular belief, oral sex is still sex and forcing it is a form of rape. Now I know you have referred to it as abuse and it is definitely that. Do you think you could try using the word rape or sexual abuse" Marva questions   
"Why, I mean does it help to say those words?" I ask her nervously   
"I believe it will. For one it will give more power to what you've been through. You have been taught to minimize the experiences and that's part of why you blame yourself" she explains.   
"I can try I guess" I offer.   
"Ok, good we'll work on it together" she says. "So how are classes going" she asks signaling the lighter portion of the session.   
"Pretty good. My English professor sent me an email asking if I wanted to have my speech published. It was on animal cruelty." I say.  
"That's really awesome, Lydia. How did the history exam go that you were worried about " Marva asks.  
"Oh it was alright. It turned out that quite a few from the class had trouble with matching the dates to the correct battle so they removed it from the test." I explain.   
"Good, I'm glad. Are you feeling ok enough to go" she asks  
"Yeah I think so, can I have a hug" I ask my cheeks heating as I say it.   
"Of course Lydia, you are always welcome to one" she says walking around the desk and giving me a one armed hug. We walk out and Allison stands to come in. I sit down and start playing Sudoku but then get thrown into a flashback.  
"You wimped out and got to safety instead of living the horror when Beacon Hills was attacked, right" Jonathan asks  
"Yes sir" I answer quietly.   
"Well then you can sit here and watch it. And if you decide to look away I'll punish one of your friends for it, understand " he says and pushes play.   
"Dude that was epic. We have got to send this in" one voice says before a loud explosion erupts causing the camera to swirl around.   
"Oh my god dude, was that a bomb" another voice says as the camera pans to see dust and debris settling.   
"My mom was in there" camera guy says and starts running towards the building. A couple of people stumble away bleeding.   
"I have to get in there" camera guy screams hysterically. He sets the camera down only to capture his death when rapid fire gunshots erupt. I listen as he gasps for air before seeing a hand come down and chop his head off. I look away accidentally.   
"Well that's one friend I get to punish" Jonathan acknowledges from a corner of the room. More destruction appears on the screen and I involuntarily look away twice, once because I lose my lunch. Jonathan ends the video and smirks.   
"Now I'll go get the others so you can see them being punished because of you. Do you still think you deserve to be at the vigil" he asks and I shake my head.   
A few tears run down my face as I come out of the memories. I put my headphones on and turn up my music.  
.  
Allison's POV   
"How are you today, Allison" Marva begins the session.  
"Ok I guess, I’m really not looking forward to tomorrow" I admit easily.   
"I know, that’s why I moved your session to today. I didn’t want you to have to come in Thursday. I already talked with your sister about some ideas for tomorrow. Do you have anything that you would like to do?" Marva asks.   
"Is stay buried under my blankets an option" I try causing her to smile.  
"No, that won't be helpful to you. How do you feel about going to the cemetery where they are buried? " Marva inquires gently   
"Oh I hadn't thought about that before. Yeah I think I would like that" I tell her.  
"Good I think it would be very healthy for you to do so. And the vigil that is held, Lydia said you haven't been allowed to go before, would you be up to that" is her next question.   
"I don't know. I mean they don't really want us there. We'd be in the way" I explain while twirling my hair.   
"Why do you think that people don't want you there?" Marva prods.   
"Well that's what Jonathan said, because we're orphans and everyone else is burdened because of us" I say suddenly feeling unsure that is true.  
"I can see those wheels turning, what are you thinking right now" she asks  
"Oh um I just was thinking maybe he was lying about that too" I tell her  
"That is really good, Allison. You are beginning to recognize some of the things that you've been told as wrong. That's a big step forward" Marva praises making me blush.   
"If you say so" I mutter.   
"I know it feels weird to have compliments. You'll get better at accepting them. Do you have your sentence worked out from last week." Marva asks moving on to the next subject.   
"Oh uh yeah here" I say and give her a piece of paper.   
"I feel broken, ugly and worthless" Marva reads aloud. I cringe slightly.   
"We can work with this. What's the opposite of broken" she questions   
"Fixed" I answer questioningly.   
"Ok, the opposite of ugly" she continues   
"Beautiful" I whisper.   
"Good and the opposite of worthless" she asks.  
"Um worth full, I don't know." I admit, shrugging my shoulders.  
"That's ok, why don't you use your phone and look up all three." She tells me. I sigh but pull out my phone and look up opposite of worthless first.   
"Um it says valuable, precious, useful" I tell Marva.   
"Ok we'll use precious, next one" she says brightly.   
"Complete, connected, fixed, ok, unbroken, whole" I read.   
"Hmm ok and the last one " she says while writing something down.   
"Attractive, beautiful, lovely, pleasing" I read and Marva writes some more.   
"Ok here is your new sentence" she says and hands me the paper back.   
I look at it and read it silently.   
"I am a precious lovely whole young woman" it reads.   
"I can't say this" I tell her honestly.   
"You don't have to believe it right now just say it. We can practice right now" Marva tells me and I take a deep breath.   
"Ok. Um I am a p-p-precious lovely whole young woman" I manage to croak out before bursting into tears. Marva comes around and sits next to me holding my hand.   
"I'm sorry" I manage between sobs.  
"No it's ok, you are allowed to cry" she promises. I get control of myself and feel embarrassed.   
"Um thanks" I tell Marva without looking at her.   
"Hey Allison, look at me please?" Marva says gently. I look at her.   
"Crying is a good thing. I know it doesn't feel that way but it's the truth" Marva tells me. I nod and look away as she moves back behind her desk.   
"Is it ok if we pick up where we left off last week, you mentioned times that there was some physical abuse not just sexual" Marva asks and I nod.   
"Yeah uh one of the punishments for getting in trouble at school was that I had to be outside while everyone else ate dinner. I had to watch them eat without moving from where I was kneeling outside a window." I tell her.   
"Was that on the grass, concrete, or something else" Marva inquires   
"It was broken glass and rocks. I managed to stay still for about 40 minutes once but then I passed out. I 'forfeited' my right to dinner for a week because of that. Scott and Stiles snuck me some food though. I know a lot of the stuff they did was really bad but when they separated me from Lydia and the others that was the worst. Last year they kept me alone for two weeks. They told the school I had pneumonia. There was this room that had a slot in the door where they put the food in but other than that no one talked to me. I hated it. I started screaming one day begging them to at least speak to me, I told them I'd do anything. The door opened. Jonathan and three other workers came in.  
Graphic description of sexual abuse and rape  
"Get undressed now" Jonathan orders. I did so quickly. He smirks. "Now your going to ask each of us if you can perform a service for us. If you don't do well I'll take my belt to you 100 times for each screw up, understand " he says calmly.   
"Yes sir" I say and approach Brad first.   
"May I suck your dick, sir." I ask softly.   
"Hmm, maybe, beg me first, girl" he says smirking.   
"Please sir, I promise to make it worth your time" I manage to say without squeaking. He laughs and unzips his pants.   
"Better make it count slut" he says and I obey making sure to bring him to orgasm. He sighs happily and shoves me away. I wipe my face off and move towards James asking the same question. He slaps me.   
"You don't get to just choose whatever you want. You know what I like, ask me again, do it right this time. By the way, that's your first 100 with the belt." He says with a smirk. I try not to whimper as I ask him the next question.   
"Please sir will you use me for your pleasure" I say laying down and spreading my legs. He does so very roughly making me scream once before biting my lip to keep quiet. He laughs when he finishes. Andrew simply wants a hand job and then Jonathan wants a treat of each of the above.  
End graphic description  
“Then they just left except for Jonathan. He whipped me and went to leave but stopped at the door and told me to shut up and stop crying because I had literally asked for it. I just gave up after that. I didn't talk unless I had to or was only with my friends." I admit while looking at my hands.   
"Allison, what they did was still not your fault." Marva says surprising me.   
"But I did ask for it, literally. I begged them. How is that not my fault?" I ask sincerely.   
"What would have happened if you didn't ask them those things?" Marva asks   
"They would have beat the shit out of me and done it anyway" I explain   
"At any point they could have killed you, what you did was to simply eliminate some of the abuse by going along with what they wanted. Did you actually want to do those things" she continues. I shake my head   
“Exactly, see you were only made to believe you had a choice, to make it seem like it's your fault but it's not at all." She finishes. I sit in silence thinking that over.   
"I don't know if I can believe that" I admit   
"You will eventually. It just takes time. You've only been seeing me for a month. And you've come a long way in that time frame. You'll get there, I promise that" Marva tells me sincerely. I nod and sigh.   
"Ok we'll switch to easier subjects if you feel ok leaving off there" Marva says.   
"Yeah, can we just play a round of cards" I ask and she nods before grabbing them out of her desk. We talk about school as we play.   
"Do you think that maybe one day I might have a boyfriend?” I ask before showing my winning cards. Marva scoops them up and hands out a new round.   
"Yeah I think it's very possible, why do you have someone in mind" she asks and I blush.   
"Well uh kinda I guess, Scott" I admit feeling my face heat even more.   
"Considering what you've been through together, it's not surprising. Are you wanting that now" she pries.   
"Not really. I mean he kissed my forehead and sometimes hugs me but I don't really want more than that. What if I never do?" I ask  
"Well if that's all you are ok with I think that Scott would be ok with that too." She tells me. I sigh.   
"Well, will that change the rules? Like will we have to live in different homes" I question.   
"Usually yes that would be cause to split you up but I think you have had enough trauma in your life. As long as you aren't sleeping together it will be ok." Marva says and I instantly feel like a weight has been lifted. We play a couple more rounds before calling it quits. I walk with Lydia out to meet Alice who drives us home. On the way I get caught up in memories.   
Eight years previous  
"Hey are you and your sister coming tomorrow" Erica asks  
"We can't, Mr. Jonathan says we're not allowed" I tell her sadly.  
"Oh that sucks. It's the one year anniversary. I know you lost both of your parents" Erica says and I nod.   
"Yeah maybe they'll play some of the videos of it. You know I heard my dad talking about it. He said Kate and Gerard Silver wanted revenge because they were supposed to be in charge around here but the town turned against them so they blew everyone up and then the people that survived got chopped up into pieces." Jackson says   
"That's a horrible thing to say" I tell him getting upset.   
"Well it's not like that happened to your parents, they got blown to bits. At least you’re not brain-dead like Erica is now" Jackson says with a smirk. I punch him in the face thus earning my first suspension.  
I sigh as I realize we are now home, shaking my head a bit to clear the memory.  
"Do you think Erica will be there tomorrow "I ask Lydia.   
"Reyes, she probably will be. You think she'll talk to us" Lydia inquires.   
"I don't know. I mean she was one of the only ones that never made fun of us. I guess we'll see” I say and we head inside.

Stiles POV   
The girls are finally back from their therapy appointments so they meet Scott and I in my room. Derek is in his office doing whatever it is he does.   
"So I guess asking how it went is kinda stupid" I say when they settle in.   
"No actually it wasn't too bad. I mean in general some of it absolutely sucks but she uh gave us some ideas for tomorrow." Lydia says sitting next to me on the bed.   
"Oh she uh tried to with me yesterday but I didn't want to talk about it. What did she suggest" I ask curiously   
"She thinks it would be a good thing for us to go to the cemetery where they are buried and to go to the vigil that is held every year. Will you go with us" Allison questions gently   
"I, I don't know. I mean I've never even been to the cemetery. And are you sure people want me there" I ask thinking about how it's my fault my parents are dead.   
"Marva said they won't see us as a burden and besides if they do we can leave and have our own little thing" Lydia explains.   
"Ok, that sounds like a plan, we should see if Derek will take us to get flowers for their graves" I suggest.   
"Yeah that's a good idea" Scott says with a hand rubbing Allison's shoulder. We trek downstairs together and I knock on Derek's office door.  
"Come in" he says softly we do.   
He smiles upon seeing us.   
"What's up, everything ok" he asks.  
"Yeah we uh had a question. Uh if you’re not like busy could you maybe take us to get some flowers to put on our families graves for tomorrow, it's ok if your busy though" I say in a rush.  
"No, to tell you the truth I'm stuck right now. My publisher is pushing for a deadline but I can't get this last chapter the way I want it. Maybe some fresh air will help stimulate my creativeness" he says standing slowly.   
"Wait, you're a writer" Scott blurts out excitedly.   
"Uh yeah, is that a bad thing " Derek asks confused   
"Oh uh no, I like to write too, I've never really met anyone who's been published before" Scott explains shyly.   
"Hey that's cool. If you want I can look at some of your stuff if you want" Derek says making Scott smile.   
"That would be cool, my stuff probably sucks though" he says.   
“I seriously doubt that” Derek says making Scott blush and then we head out.   
"I'd like some purple hyacinth" I tell the lady in the flower shop.   
"Hey Stiles, you did that big flower study last year, what flowers mean remembrance" Allison asks   
"Well flowers are somewhat open to interpretation but yellow zinnia are specifically remembrance." I explain and she decides to get some of those.   
"What symbolizes protection" Lydia asks softly enough that only I hear.   
"That would be the white heather" I tell her and she gets that. Derek gets pink carnations and queen Anne's lace poppies, which I know to mean love of mother and safety or haven like the place we live is called. The girls also find memorial flowers that spell out dad and mom and get those as well. Derek surprises us by paying for all of it.   
"We could have helped pay for it" Allison says softly once we're back in the jeep on the way home.   
"I know that but I wanted to do this, is that ok? "Derek asks suddenly looking worried.   
"Yeah it's ok." I say and the others agree. We get back to the house and Derek starts on dinner. We all end up going to bed pretty early. I don't bother trying to sleep but instead sneak into the living room to watch movies.   
"Can't sleep" Derek says from behind me startling me enough that I flail off the couch.   
"Sorry" he says and offers me a hand up.   
"Uh sorry I just really didn't want to sleep" I admit.   
"I understand that. Memories keeping you up?” He guesses.   
"Sort of. It's my fault my parents are dead" I tell him.   
"Stiles " he begins   
"No really, it is. Please just let me tell you what happened" I say. He nods so I dive in.   
The supermarket had just exploded and mom and me had come to pick up dad at the station, instead we got trapped there. Dad was leading a bunch of us out through a back way but I saw a puppy.   
"Daddy there's a puppy. It's gunna get hurt" I say  
"Stiles, it's ok just stay with your mom and me" he says. Then lots of sounds like firecrackers happen. I run after the doggie. Mom comes and gets hit. I feel liquid on my face. Dad tells me to run and I do. I get to a hiding place and stay there but mom and dad never come. I get found after everything is over. The officer, uh Stanley, I think was his name found me. He told me mom and dad were gone and hugged me but then took me to the orphanage. I tried to ignore it for years but then Jonathan showed a video of it. My parents really did die because of me" I finish tears rolling down my face.   
"No Stiles. They died because of two crazy psychos that terrorized this town. One of them was the woman that abused me. She never was charged with anything even though everyone knew what she did to my family. Its why Gerard, her father, was released from being the mayor. I never tried to report her for what she did to me. So if you need to blame someone, blame me. If I'd reported her she wouldn't have been free to do what she did." Derek says   
"That's not your fault though. I mean how could you possibly know that she would do all of that" I say and Derek smiles.   
"Exactly, how could you have known that trying to protect a dog would end like that, if you can't blame me, you can't blame yourself. Besides I've read a lot of the reports. Stiles, nobody made it out of that police station alive. A bomb went off in the back while people were trying to escape. The five officers that weren't there were the only ones to survive. It's not your fault" he says and I break down. He slowly puts an arm around me just sitting there while I blubber away. I finally pull myself together enough to stop embarrassing myself.   
"Sorry for breaking down like that" I mutter not looking at him.   
"You don't have to apologize for that Stiles, emotions are allowed " he says and I shrug.   
"Did you pick the purple hyacinth because of its meaning of wanting forgiveness?" Derek asks as silence lapses too long.   
"Yeah I just feel like it's my fault, I need to tell them I'm sorry." I admit.   
"I understand that. You think maybe you can get at least a few hours of sleep now." He questions and I nod before heading to my room and crashing into my bed. I wake without nightmares the next morning. Allison is silent as we sit at the table for breakfast.   
"Uh so did you guys want to head out now for the cemetery" Derek asks cautiously.   
"Yeah let's go do that" I say hoping the feeling of weight on my shoulders goes away. We drive to the cemetery in complete silence. Once there Derek helps the twins find their parents and me mine. Scott comes with me because his parents aren't buried here. Derek goes to what is presumably his foster parents graves.   
"You ok, man" Scott asks as I just stand there looking at my parents headstones.   
"I'm sorry, I really just need a moment alone" I tell him. He squeezes my shoulder and backs away.   
"Hey mom, hey dad, I'm uh sorry I haven't come to see you before now. It wasn't really allowed. I haven't had the easiest of times since you guys died. I uh kinda thought maybe I deserved it though. I never should have run after the dog. I'm so sorry. You guys would still be here if I had listened. I don't know if you hate me or not. Derek that's kinda my like foster dad now and Marva my therapist says that you don't but I don't see why. I kinda hate me, a lot. Anyway again I'm really sorry. I love you both" I say tears streaming down my face as I kneel in front of their headstone. A hand on my shoulder startles me.   
"Sorry, Stiles, right" the man says and I nod.  
"My name is Jordan Parrish, I worked with your dad" he says. I stand up and wipe off my pants.   
"Oh uh hi" I say unsure of what he's doing here.   
"Your father he didn't die immediately. He passed away in the hospital about a week after what happened, but he was able to write this letter. He gave it to me. I got transferred though and then I couldn't find you. I saw the news though three months ago. I knew I had to come give it to you. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find you" Jordan says.  
"It's ok. Thanks for this, really" I say taking the envelope from him.   
"If you need anything my number's there on the back, no pressure though" he says and goes to leave. Derek comes over.   
"Who was that" he asks curiously.   
"Apparently someone my dad worked with. He said my dad gave him this letter for me" I explain.   
"Oh ok. Are you alright" he questions and I nod.   
"I think I'm going to go over here and read it" I say pointing to a nearby bench. He nods. I open the envelope with shaking hands.   
"Stiles,   
I don't know if I'm going to make it. I get weaker every day. I need you to know that my death and your mother's are NOT your fault. Please know that whatever happens I don't blame you for this and neither would your mother. You were trying to save that dog, that's real courage son. I love you now and always, dad"  
I fold the letter back up and set it beside me as I cry into my hands. Lydia sits beside me with a hand on my back, comforting me though I don't feel as if I deserve it. Maybe I'll get stoned tonight, see what Derek thinks of that.  
Scott's POV   
Stiles is really struggling but he seems to want to be alone so I head to check on the girls. They're sitting by their parents graves talking. Allison sees me and waves me over.   
"You guys ok " I ask as I sit with them.  
"As ok as we can be, how's Stiles" Lydia asks   
"He's struggling" I admit. She frowns and bites her lip.   
"I'll go check on him" she decides and heaves herself up.   
"Would you like me to introduce you to my parents" Allison asks shyly. I nod.   
"Uh ok. Well mom dad, this is Scott. He's protected me a lot. I think you'd really like him. I miss you guys so much." Allison says sniffling. I put my arm behind her and she leans on my shoulder. We sit like that until Lydia and Stiles come over. In all we stayed at the cemetery for about two hours. We head back home for a bit where we halfheartedly watch movies until time to head to the vigil. I hold Allison's hand once we get out and find seats in the outdoor auditorium. Lydia is holding Stiles hand as well. A woman walks out on stage.   
"Hello everyone, thanks for coming. Nine years ago this city was rocked and ransacked by people who only wanted to destroy us. We gather here to remember those we've lost. As I read off the names of loved ones please stand and light your candles. Several names are spoken before Christopher Argent and Natalie Martin, the names of the girls parents. They stand and light their candles. John and Claudia Stilinski are read off and Stiles and I light our candles. By the time it's finished there are enough candles lit that the street lights seem dull in comparison. Another person walks onto the stage.   
"It all started so simply that no one could have predicted the outcome. First a bomb took out the supermarket, then the post office and the library. Everything was in chaos when the bullets started to fly. Within two days over 300 people were gone, and those responsible had no rhyme or reason. Once caught they only spewed hatred about this town and our people. Hatred killed half of this town but we must never let it defeat us. We stand strong and as one together." The man says and everyone lifts their candles while the song Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley plays and pictures play on the screen. The girls begin to cry softly as a family portrait is shown of their family. Stiles wipes his eyes as pictures of his own family is shown. We all just sit huddled together until it's over. We're on the way out when someone starts calling the girls names. We turn both Stiles and I standing in front of the girls in case there's a threat.   
"Allison, Lydia is that you" a woman says coming towards us. Allison gasps.   
"Oh my god, it's Marie" she says and I relax as they rush forward to hug the woman.   
"Oh my beautiful girls" she says tears falling down her face.   
"I'm sorry I never tried to come get you out of the horror house. I wanted to but they wouldn't let me because I had no job and I lost my husband and son in the massacre. I ended up moving away but I come back and have heard the awful place you've been. Please forgive me girls" Marie begs.   
"No it's not your fault. We're so glad to see you" Lydia says. Derek comes up nonchalantly   
"Everything ok " he asks.   
"Derek this is Marie. She was our nanny, you know before" Allison says softly.   
"Oh, well would you like to come back to the house and have dinner with us" Derek asks.   
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't. My plane leaves soon. Here let me give you my number though." Marie says and she puts it in both the girls phones before hugging then again and leaving.   
"Hey guys" a voice says we turn to see Erica standing nearby.   
"Hey Erica" Allison says.   
"You guys finally got to come" she says smiling a watery smile.   
"Oh uh Derek this is Erica, she's one of the only ones who never tried to make fun of us" Lydia says.   
"Well it's not like I have much room to talk. I'm known as the class spazoid." Erica retorts.   
"Erica, it's not your fault that you have seizures. Even if they weren't caused by one of the bombs it still wouldn't be" Stiles says, Erica shrugs.   
"Can we maybe give you our numbers so we can text" Allison asks softly. Erica smiles and nods. Her mom calls her over soon after.   
"Derek, uh do you think maybe we could get a copy of those pictures" Stiles asked.   
"Yeah, come on we'll go talk to Stacy, she's the one who organizes all this" Derek explains and leads the way. Stacy, as it turns out actually has several pictures for the twins and Stiles.  
"Um, I'm sorry but by chance are you Melissa McCall's son" she asks me startling me.   
"Uh yeah that was my mom's name I think" I tell Stacy.   
"I have a couple pictures of your mother as well. See we worked at the hospital together. I got the pictures after what happened to her” Stacy says and starts flipping through her photo book.   
"Here" she says triumphantly. She hands me five photos. I tear up instantly.   
"Thank you, ma'am" I manage. She startles me by pulling me into hug.   
"No problem sweet cheeks. Now you guys call me if you need anything " she says. Derek promises to do so and we head back home. No one is really in the mood to do much once we finish dinner. I'm on my bed writing when Allison comes in.   
"You ok, Ally" I ask and she shakes her head. I open my arms and she comes closer leaning into me.   
"I hate this day so much. I really want to cut but I've been doing better. I just want the pain to go away." She sobs. I hold her close wishing I could make it go away.   
"You did good by coming to talk to me instead of cutting. I'm so proud of you" I say and then just wait for her to calm down. She falls asleep in my arms. I carry her back to her room, meeting Stiles with a sleeping Lydia.   
"How are we going to lock their door though" I ask. Stiles grins and locks the door before climbing out a window. I follow him and he closes it gently before revealing a bottle of tequila.   
"Where the hell did you get that" I yell whisper.   
"I got it while we were at the vigil thingy. It was sitting on a table just begging to be taken. I've had a long day. I'm going to end it on a high note" he says and takes a swig before handing it to me.   
"Stiles, Derek has already put up with a lot. This is a bad idea" I try. Stiles scowls.   
"Come on don't be such a worry wart. I really don't want to get plastered alone plus I scored some weed not that long ago" he says and I sigh before taking a swig myself. Some time later we're giggling on the front lawn, well I am. Stiles is currently pee - spelling his name. The door opens and Derek comes out.   
"What the hell" he mutters and I take a step away. He raises his hands slowly.   
"I'm not going to hurt you, I just need you to get inside, please" he says calmly. Stiles attempts to walk towards the house by stomping each foot accompanied by sound effects making me laugh.   
"Dude I'm going to pee myself stop doing that." I say and we both crack up. At some point Derek has managed to get us into the living room. He's pacing the floor.   
"Did we teleport" I ask and he stops to look at me.   
"No, you two both passed out. I carried you in. What did you guys take" he asks a bit of edge creeping into his voice cutting into the fog of drugs and alcohol.   
"We drank a bottle of tequila and smoked a bit of weed" I admit.   
"Shit" he mutters and I flinch away.   
"Still not going to hurt you, here drink this" he says handing me a glass of water. I drain it quickly. He sets a trashcan by my head.   
"You can puke in this if you get sick" he says then sits in a chair across the room.   
"Are you mad at us" I ask my voice sounding very small.   
"No Scott, I'm not mad. We'll talk about it later though" he says. I think about asking him when but sleep overtakes me. I wake up puking several times before drinking more water and falling asleep. My head only spins a little bit when I wake up fully. Derek is slumped over in the chair across the room. The night before comes back to me and I start to panic. Derek wakes up and sees me.   
"Whoa, slow your roll " he says standing up. I flinch away and drop to the floor keeping my hands around my face. No blows come and all I hear is my breathing and Stiles snoring. I slowly crawl out from under the side table I'd managed to fit under. Derek is standing by the wall watching me. I drop my eyes but stand up anyway. Derek sighs. I flinch again but stay standing.   
"Scott, I'm not going to hurt you" he says calmly. I nod, too scared to speak.   
"Will you sit down on the couch please" Derek asks and I glance over to see he still hasn't moved. Stiles starts to stir as I sit down.   
"Oh shit what did I do" he mutters as he slams into reality. He looks at me with fear in his eyes before glancing over at Derek. He takes a couple of deep breaths before standing up and in front of me.   
"It's not his fault, it's mine" Stiles says and Derek sighs.  
"Stiles, like I told Scott I'm not going to hurt you" he tells him calmly.   
"No that's not how this works" Stiles says walking towards Derek.   
"You have to punish me" he tells him.  
"Maybe I should but I'm not. Yesterday was a rough day" Derek says calmly.   
"No" Stiles yells making me flinch. He grabs a lamp and throws it on the floor, creating a loud crash as it shatters.  
"You can't just be that calm, you have to do something" Stiles huffs.   
"No I don't" Derek counters. Allison and Lydia come running into the room.   
"Please you have to punish me, please" Stiles begs running at Derek pummeling him with his fists. Derek catches his wrists and holds them firmly but gently.   
"No Stiles, that's not what you need right now" he tells him, still as calm as ever. Stiles screams before collapsing against Derek sobbing.   
Derek slides to the floor with him, holding him.   
"I hate me, I hate me so much. Why did it have to be them, why couldn't I have died." Stiles sobs out and I can't hold back anymore. I walk over and sit with them wrapping myself around Stiles. Allison and Lydia both join me. We sit like that for a while.  
"I'm sorry" he cries repeatedly until he's worn out. He slowly unwraps himself from Derek and clears his throat.   
"Uh I uh didn't mean to lose it like that" he says as apology. Derek stands back up and Lydia keeps hold of Stiles' hand.   
"You don't have to be sorry for that, let's just sit down and talk ok" Derek suggests. We all squeeze in on the couch while Derek sits in the chair across from us.   
"I need you to understand that you are not in trouble. Ok" Derek begins and both Stiles and I nod. The girls just look confused.   
"I do not condone drinking or smoking weed but definitely not together. It can have a bad effect in you, especially with your asthma, Scott" Derek says calmly. I feel my face burn as he says it. And I feel both of the twins staring at us.   
"I know however, that yesterday was rough. But if this does happen again you'll be grounded. Now what that means is that I will have your phones and you'll only be allowed to access the Internet for school work. I may have you do some extra chores around the house. What it doesn't mean is being separate from the others, I won't take away food and there will never ever be a physical consequence. I won't promise to never get upset but I do promise to never raise a hand to any of you. Ok" Derek explains.   
"Yes sir" Both Stiles and I say.   
"No, it's still just Derek." He says and we nod.   
"I would like to know where you got it and whether or not you have more" he continues.   
"I uh stole the bottle of tequila off a table at the vigil. And I've had the weed for a while, that was the last of it" Stiles promises.   
"Ok, who gave you the weed" Derek prods.   
"I can't tell you that" Stiles says worriedly.   
"Stiles, I need to know who's giving weed to underage kids, please”, Derek tries.   
"It's from a kid at the school named Ethan. He deals all sorts of crap. He can't know I ratted him out" Stiles says a slight panic to his voice.   
"I'll make sure he doesn't. Thank you for telling me though.” Derek praises making Stiles blush.   
"Um can I go take a shower" Stiles asks.   
"Yeah you both probably should" Derek says and we nod. Lydia follows Stiles down the hall and Allison follows me back to my room. I'm expecting her to yell at me and am surprised when she hugs me instead.   
"Please, don't do that again. I thought he was going to kick you guys out or something." She says  
"I'm sorry." I say and she nods and pulls away.   
"Derek was right though, you really need a shower" she says wrinkling her nose and smiling. I smile back and go to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Detailed sexual abuse and rape - well detailed to me at least.  
> Underage drinking and smoking  
> Mentions if self harm  
> Several flashbacks to the violence of the massacre.  
> Emotional meltdowns with self hatred  
> I uh I think that covers it, let me know if I've left one out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the lack of updates. I've been having medical issues. But anyway hope you all enjoy. Warnings at the end. Sorry it's kinda short.

Stiles POV  
After a shower I still feel absolutely crappy. I dress and go to leave the bathroom but then find myself rushing back to the toilet. Derek passes by and stops when he sees that I’m sick.   
“You alright” he asks.  
“No, I’m dying” I tell him. He laughs.   
“Well uh you know, I know a great cure for a hangover” he tells me. I look up from the porcelain throne curiously.   
“It’s a greasy pork sandwich served up on a dirty ashtray” he says and I feel him smirk as I turn back groaning as I barf yet again.   
“I hate you” I tell him and he huffs out a laugh before walking off down the hall. Lydia comes in soon after.   
“Here” she says and hands me a glass of water. I manage to drink it and feel less like my insides are going to come crawling out.   
“Scott’s not much better off than you.” Lydia informs me.   
“I’m sorry for worrying you” I tell her for the fifth time.   
“We all have our coping mechanisms, I understand really. But Stiles, you and Scott take care of me and Allison but you don’t let us do the same for you. You kept me from cutting the shit out of myself last night. Let me blubber on and on but then you went and got slammed. Can we maybe have a promise that you’ll try to talk to me first before turning to those things” she pleads once we’re back in my room.   
“Yeah Lyds, I’m sorry” I say guiltily rubbing my head. She hugs me tightly.   
“It’s ok. Stop hating yourself” she tries and I let out a harsh laugh crossed with a sob.  
“I don’t think that will ever happen” I finally say.   
“I know” she says and pulls back searching my face.   
“So what was going through your mind when you decided to do all this” she asks cautiously as we sit on my bed.   
“I didn’t want to deal with the memories. I can’t stop blaming myself, even after the letter from dad. I mean it’s imprinted in my mind like it happened yesterday. I can’t just change what I see. I wanted my brain to shut the hell up and alcohol and drugs are all that has ever helped.” I admit openly. She takes my hand in hers and holds it to her mouth kissing it once.   
“I think it’s going to take a long time to change the way we think about ourselves, that’s what Marva is for. You should let her know about this. And I get it, I cut to make my brain shut up as well. “ she tells me. I smile slightly.   
“What would I do without you” I ask seriously. She blushes and looks away.   
“No seriously I don’t think I could have kept going without you. You know that you are like the most important thing ever to me, right” I question she shrugs still staring at her feet. I sigh and get down in front of her.   
“Lydia Martin, I love you, and I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that you are worth it” I say watching her eyes tear up. I brush one away as it rolls down her cheek.   
“I love you too Stiles.” She says squeezing my hand gently. I grimace as my head gives a particularly nasty throb.   
“Alright, into bed, now” she says pulling me to my feet. I do so without argument.   
“I’ll come check on you later” she says and drifts out of the room. I manage to fall asleep with ease.   
I wake up a few hours later when Lydia comes in.   
“Feeling better” she asks softly.   
“Yeah actually a lot better” I admit and we walk out into the living room where Scott and Allison are cuddled on the couch watching The Princess Bride.   
“Hey guys” I say plopping down next to Scott.   
“How’s your head” Scott asks  
“Much better, you” I inquire back.   
“Same I only slept about an hour. I didn’t uh consume as much as you” he says uncomfortably. I give him a sheepish look.  
“Yeah sorry” I say and he shrugs. Lydia curls up next to me and we watch the rest of the movie. Derek tells us dinner is ready so we head to the kitchen. The first few minutes are spent in awkward silence.   
“How are you two feeling” Derek asks  
“Much better, sir, uh Derek” I say and Scott nods. Derek sighs and I try not to cringe.   
“I promise that I’m not mad, guys” he says but neither of us look at him.   
“Did you know that I did the same thing when I was your age. In fact, Stiles, it was your father that caught me” Derek begins I look up at this.   
“What happened” I ask curiously.   
“He brought me home, told my mom what he’d caught me doing and told us good night” Derek continues.   
“Really, he didn’t arrest you or anything” Scott asks   
“No and he totally could have. I’d been in trouble before. I was terrified once he left. I figured that was the final straw and they would either kick me out or beat me. So I tried to choose first. I told them I’d go start packing. Mom asked me to sit down so I did. I refused to look at them though. She sat down with her chair in front of me and just waited until I looked up. I finally did and she smiled and thanked me. Then she told me the same thing I told you guys. She grounded me for a week but neither her or my dad ever hurt me.” Derek tells us. I look down trying to hide my tears.   
“I’m sorry” I whisper.  
“It’s ok Stiles. I didn’t tell you this to make you feel bad” Derek promises. I nod but don’t look up.   
“My dad was a good guy, huh” I finally say  
“Yeah he was and he’d be so freaking proud of you.” Derek says and I shake my head.   
“Stiles you’ve been through hell and yes you’ve picked up some bad habits and coping mechanisms but you are not a bad person or a bad son. I see a lot of him in you. The need to protect all of your friends, to put yourself in danger of over anyone else, that was your father” Derek continues. Lydia startles me slightly by putting her arms around me. I turn into her and cry like a baby for a few minutes.   
“I’m sorry, I don’t usually lose it like that” I say embarrassingly.   
“It’s ok” Derek says. We talk about Star Wars after that and then watch Willy Wonky and the Chocolate Factory before going to bed.  
Scott’s POV  
I try to sleep but end up being tormented by nightmares. I get up to get a glass of water and head to our computer room. The lady at the vigil seemed to know about my mom. Maybe I can find out what happened. I log onto my computer and pull up the Internet searching for a good news page. I search the archives back 11 yrs. and then type in Murder/Suicide. I hit pay dirt on my first try. I pull up the article to read.   
Murder/Suicide leaves child orphaned.   
28 yr. old Melissa McCall, a nurse at Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital, was found dead in her home along with her live in boyfriend Peter Hale. Neighbors found her four yr. old son wandering the neighborhood covered in blood and made the grisly discovery. ‘I always thought that maybe she wasn’t safe even made a couple of domestic disturbance calls but I never expected this’ says one neighbor. ‘Definitely one of the worst crime scenes I’ve ever come across says Sheriff Stilinski. ‘There’s no telling whether the child has witnessed what happened but either way stuff like that leaves scars’ he goes on to say.  
I push my chair away from the computer noticing that breathing is becoming difficult.  
Flashback  
“He can’t even speak right Melissa. Admit it he’s retarded” Peter yells.   
“He has a lisp, Peter. It will go away as he gets older. You said you wanted a son again” Melissa tries. Peter slaps her across the face.   
“Don’t hit mommy” four yr. old me screams.   
“Shut the hell up, you little shit” Peter yells grabbing me.   
“Peter let go of him” mom yells.   
“You want to take his place” Peter snarls. Mom hits him making him shove me aside. He pulls out a gun making her freeze.   
“Let me take care of this little bastard and we can get on with our lives” he says pointing the gun at me. Mom moves in front of me.  
I jump when a hand touches me.   
“Scott” Derek says moving back. I look around to see I’m under my desk tears rolling down my face.   
“He killed her because of me” I tell him. Derek looks worried.   
“Scott can you come out from under there please” he asks softly. I nod and do so sitting in my chair and covering my face.   
“Did you have a nightmare or flashback” Derek inquires gently. I nod.  
“Well I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to see if I could find out more about what happened to my mom. I sort of remembered it but after finding a news story about it I remembered more. He wasn’t my dad. His name was Peter. He hated me and wanted to kill me but mom wouldn’t let him. He killed her” I explain before sobbing.   
“Scotty, you ok” Allison asks from the doorway. I shake my head and find myself suddenly in her arms.   
“It’s ok” she says just holding me until the sobs finally dwindle away.   
“Scott is it ok if I look at the story you read” Derek asks cryptically. I nod. He reads through it and then backs away breathing heavily.   
“Hey, you ok” I ask. He takes a couple deep breaths to steady himself.   
“Peter, I knew him. He was my uncle” he says.   
“I’m so sorry” he says.   
“That’s not your fault” I say. He shrugs.   
“What’s going on” Allison asks.   
“I wanted to know more about my mom so I looked it up and found a news article about what happened. The guy that killed her wasn’t actually my father. Apparently he was related to Derek” I say looking towards him.   
“Yeah my uncle wasn’t home at the time of the fire. He lost a son and wife. He went into a mental institution, at least I thought he did. But I do remember when I was 15 I got news he had died but I never knew this” Derek promises.  
“I believe you” I tell him and Allison nods.   
“You think you’ll be ok to get some sleep” Derek asks and I shrug.   
“I can try” I tell him and Allison takes my hand leading me towards the bedrooms.   
“I’m sorry for what happened to your mom and how you found out. It wasn’t your fault though” She tells me before hugging me and kissing my cheek.   
“Try to get some sleep, ok” she says and we part ways to go to bed.  
Derek’s POV  
This new info has me a bit rattled so I decide to text Marva when it’s not 3 in the morning and head to my room. My phone rings just as I’m laying down.   
“Hello” I answer.  
“Derek it’s Alice sorry I know it’s late I am needing an emergency placement and I’ve seen that he’s been with you before, an Isaac Lahey” Alice tells me.   
“Yeah I know Isaac, is he ok” I ask instantly worried.   
“Well physically yes. He was found in a freezer in his father’s basement. His father was killed in a car wreck earlier tonight.” Alice informs me. I sigh.   
“Yeah go ahead and bring him over, I’ll take him” I say and get back up and head into the kitchen. They arrive about an hour later.   
“Hi Isaac” I say softly.   
“Hey” he mutters keeping his head down. Alice hands me some paperwork to sign and gives Isaac her card before leaving.   
“You can have whatever room that you want uh do you want anything to eat or drink” I ask.   
“No thank you sir” he answers.   
“Just Derek” I tell him. He nods and I show him to the rooms.   
I head to mine wondering how this changes things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scott has a flashback that involves his mother's death. Language, domestic abuse and use of the word retarded.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating. I got a new job and have been working new hours so I've been sleeping odd schedule and haven't had time for much else. Unfortunately that means I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to write out another chapter. But I'll keep trying. Warnings at the end

Derek’s POV   
I’m up early even though I’d been up late because I knew the others would be up early to do their school work. I’d been able to talk them out of doing it the past couple of days because of the anniversary but I knew they would want to get back to it today. I’m just finishing cooking breakfast when they wonder in at 8.   
“Dude you look tired as hell” Stiles says causing Lydia to elbow him.  
“That’s rude” she tells him. I smirk.   
“It’s ok. I’ll take a nap here in a little while. We have a new house member. His name is Isaac Lahey. He’s in the foster care system as you are. It’s up to him what he tells you and the same for you guys.” I explain.   
“Lahey, he have curly hair” Scott asks and I nod.   
“We know him well sort of like he had classes with us” he says.   
“Was he one of the ones who bullied you guys” I ask concerned   
“No, actually he probably got messed with almost as much as us. Well when he was there, he wasn’t always there, his dad always said he was sick” Stiles says his eyes suddenly darkening as he makes connections.   
“Like I said he has his right to privacy. His father was killed in a car wreck last night though. Just give him his space as you would for each other, ok” I ask and they all nod. We eat breakfast and I convince them I can handle the dishes so they go off to do their school work. Isaac walks in as I’m finishing cleaning.   
“Hey Isaac, I saved you a plate if you are hungry” I tell him.  
“Uh I guess so but I was wondering uh how am I getting to school today, will I need to walk, sir” he says keeping his eyes lowered.   
“Isaac you can call me Derek, you don’t have to call me sir and you have today off. You can start back on Monday. You know I have others here, correct.” I ask.   
“Yeah uh I kinda know them” he says still not looking up.   
“Well I’ll reintroduce you after you eat some breakfast, why don’t you sit down I’ll heat it up” I say smiling but frown at the fear that crosses his face.   
“Uh I can heat it up sir, I don’t want to bother you” he says shakily.   
“Isaac, do you remember me, you stayed here once before, I think about five years ago” I say softly taking a seat slowly so he can see what I’m doing.   
“I think I remember. It was right after my mom died. Does momma Talia still live here” he questions hopefully. My heart aches at those words.   
“No, I’m sorry Isaac, she passed away nine months ago.” I admit my voice cracking slightly.  
“Oh god I’m so sorry. I didn’t know” he says.   
“No, its ok. No worries. But if you remember her then you know her rules. I’m the same. No one will hurt you here” I tell him sincerely. He finally glances up.   
“Ok” he says and I smile.   
“Good, how about some food then” I say and he nods.  
Stiles POV   
I feel like such a selfish little bastard. All the signs were there. Isaac had bruises as often as we did. And yet I was just too self centered to help. I hate myself. I type into my online journal.   
“Hey Stiles, you alright over there” Scott questions.   
“Yeah why” I ask  
“Well you were kinda stab-typing things” Lydia explains.   
“Sorry just venting my frustrations. I’ll get started on school stuff now” I tell them. Lydia looks unsure but lets it go. I’m just finishing up my math worksheet when Derek knocks on the door before coming in.   
“Hey guys this is Isaac, I know you sort of know each other but figured I’d let you get to know each other a little better.” He says. Isaac stands awkwardly beside him.   
“Yeah sounds good, you can hang out while we do our school stuff if you want” Lydia offers. He shrugs.   
“As long as I won't be in the way, I can read my book” he says softly.   
“Nah you won’t be. I’m Stiles by the way” I tell him. Scott, Lydia and Allison say their names as well.   
Isaac pulls a chair up by me and pulls out his book. I glance at it and smile.   
“Dude, you like Vonnegut” I ask reading the title.   
He smiles.   
“Yeah he’s one of my favorites.” He admits.   
“That totally makes you awesome, just you know FYI” Scott says.   
“Oh ok. I guess so” Isaac says sounding a bit confused but also amused. We turn back to our own stuff for a while before Isaac speaks up.   
“Don’t you guys want to know why I’m here” he asks.   
“Only what you are comfortable telling us” Lydia tells him. He looks at us suspiciously.   
“Did Derek already tell you everything anyway” he asks seeming upset.   
“Uh no, he just told us you were going to be staying here and about your father passing away. Actually he asked us to not question you, which we wouldn’t anyway. I mean none of us want to be questioned about our lives” I tell him.   
“Oh, sorry” he says deflating a little.   
“it’s ok. Look I think we all kinda get it, being in a new place can be terrifying. Derek’s a good guy though” Allison says. Isaac relaxes a bit.   
“I don’t know if I can believe that yet” he says chewing on his fingernail.   
“I think maybe you just have to see it to understand but here I’ll tell you this. Scott and I got drunk as hell and stoned to boot Wednesday night and Derek didn’t do anything. He said next time we would be grounded but he never yelled or even got angry” I tell him. Isaac’s eyes widen.   
“Wow that’s not how my dad would have handled that” he mutters and then,  
“I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt I guess” he finishes.   
“So uh you guys are like homeschooling now” he asks to change the subject.   
“Yeah Derek and our case worker pulled us out because of some of the stuff the teachers did, apparently it was abusive” I tell him. He looks curious.   
“Why do you say apparently” he questions.   
“Well I mean none of them hit us or anything they just had us write mean things about ourselves. A lot of times it was making fun of us for being orphans.” I explain readily.   
“Wow so that’s why Principal Tyrne got fired” Isaac exclaims  
“We got him fired!” Allison squeaks her face paling.   
“Whoa, no that’s not you guys fault. If he was abusing his position then it’s his fault” Isaac says looking concerned at Allison. Scott reaches over and holds her hand. She takes a couple of deep breaths.   
“I’m ok” she says softly.   
“I can show you some of what we do if you want” I offer and Isaac nods. He even helps me with some of it. Lydia’s phone chimes and she looks at it.   
“Uh hey Isaac do you know Erica Reyes” she asks.   
“Yeah she’s my friend, why, is she ok” Isaac asks instantly concerned.   
“I think so, she just text me saying she found out about your father’s wreck and that you went into foster services. She wanted to know if I could ask our worker about you but uh since you are here, what do you want me to tell her” Lydia explains and ends with the question.   
“Tell her I’m staying here and I’m ok.” Isaac says. Lydia types it out and gets an instant response.  
“She wants to talk to you, can she call?” Lydia relays. Isaac smiles and nods.   
The phone rings soon after Lydia replies. She hands him the phone.   
“Hey Erica” Isaac answers. There’s a moment of silence as Erica is obviously speaking.   
“I’m fine, I promise” he says then steps out of the room. He comes back in a few minutes later.   
“Uh will Derek be mad if Erica shows up later” he asks concerned.   
“No he’ll be fine with it, where is he anyway?” Scott asks.   
“Oh there’s a note on his office door, he said he was going to lay down for a bit but would be up by dinner time” Isaac tells us.   
“Oh ok, good, he needs some sleep” I say and guilt crosses Isaac’s face.   
“Dude not your fault that he was up late, hell if anything it’s probably our issues that were keeping him up” I say. Isaac shrugs but doesn’t say anything else. We work in silence for a few hours before I stop to stretch. I look over to see Isaac slumped in his chair with the book on his face.   
“Poor guy probably needs more sleep” I say and go to shake his shoulder but stop.   
“Isaac” I say a couple of times before he flails awake.   
“Oh uh sorry for falling asleep” he says. I shrug.   
“No biggie, if you want to get some more sleep you can, you don’t have to stay in here with us” I tell him. He yawns.   
“Yeah that sounds good” he says and heads out of the room.   
Allison POV   
I finished my work earlier than the others and so I started a new entry in my journal.   
Isaac seems nice. I feel bad because I think he’s been through some stuff like us. And he lost his dad just last night but it doesn’t seem like he’s too upset over that. I think maybe it was his dad who hurt him. Maybe we can help him some while he’s here and I don’t know maybe be friends even. The weird thing is I don’t really feel scared around him like I do most guys. I don’t know why, maybe because he’s just a good guy. Do those even exist? I mean there was that guy last year at school, Dylan. I was scared of him instantly but he was nice to me. Not even Lydia knows what he did in the bathroom when I told him I couldn’t date him. I just figured maybe all guys are that way besides Scott and Stiles but maybe there are a few good ones of there.   
I sigh as I save and close my new entry. I get up and head to the bathroom. As soon as I’m in the bathroom I’m slammed by a flashback  
Flashback  
“Hey baby, you sure you don’t want to go out with me. I promise I’ll treat you like a queen” Dylan says walking into the girls bathroom.   
“Uh, you know this is the girls bathroom, right” I say feeling scared suddenly.   
“I asked you a question” he says locking the door.   
“I can’t, I’m not allowed to.” I tell him and try to walk past him. He grabs my wrists and slams me into the wall.   
“Nobody tells me no, got it” he says pressing up against me. I nod. He starts pulling my clothes off.  
End flashback   
A knock on the door startles me.   
“j-just a minute” I say and finish washing my hands.   
Isaac is standing outside the door.   
“Oh sorry I uh didn’t mean to like rush you or anything” he says looking down.   
“No its ok, you didn’t rush me.” I tell him and go to my room. I hold my kit in my hands. Scott and the others wouldn’t want me to do this but the images just won’t go away. I check to make sure the door is locked before making two new marks, one on each leg. I clean them up and start to leave the room but start crying, not knowing why. I don’t realize I’m crouched in the doorway until I hear Scott’s voice.   
“Ally-cat, what’s wrong” he asks concerned sitting down beside me. I’m overwhelmed with guilt.   
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, I I had too” I tell him. I see the pained look and know he gets what I mean. He pulls me into his arms.   
“it’s ok, Ally. I’m not mad. It’s ok” he says holding me and rocking me slightly.   
Eventually the tears stop flowing.   
“Are you ok” Scott questions.   
I nod sniffling.   
“I’m sorry ” I say again.   
“No its ok. Do you think maybe you can tell me why, you were ok earlier” Scott says.   
“I can’t, I’m sorry, I can’t” I say   
“that’s ok. Do you have anymore work for today” he asks easily changing the subject.   
“no I’m finished, what about you” I ask   
“I’m finished as well. Do you want to go watch a movie or something” he asks  
“I’m don’t really want to do anything. Can we just sit on the couch together” I ask feeling vulnerable. He smiles.   
“As you wish” he says making me smile. We walk together into the living room. The tv is on and Isaac is sitting in there.  
“Are you ok” he asks in concern. I nod.  
“Look if I do something somehow, please tell me I promise I won’t do it anymore” he continues.   
“It’s not anything you did, Isaac, I promise” I say and as we sit down and I lean into Scott.   
“Ok” he says looking a bit more relieved.   
I sit with Scott’s arms around me and drift into sleep feeling safe. 

Scott’s POV   
Isaac glances over seeing that Allison has fallen asleep.   
“Are you sure she’s ok” he asks   
“I think so. My guess is she had a flashback to the orphanage.” I explain, not about to tell him about the self harm.   
“Did I make her remember that” he questions worriedly.  
“No dude I doubt it. We’re all pretty messed up. I mean I know you’ve had to have heard about what happened to us” I say and he sighs.   
“I know you guys were being hurt, I know there was a lot of rumors around school too but I ignored them. I kinda know what it’s like. I mean it wasn’t that bad for me, really. My dad he just had a temper and I’m a stupid little shit, he got a little heavy handed sometimes. Lately though he’d just lock me up for a while until he thought I’d be better, I guess.” Isaac admits callously.   
“You don’t have to answer but when you say locked up, like in a room?” I ask  
“No, in an old freezer we had in the basement. He’d give me food and water once a day. The most he ever left me was just a week. That’s actually where they found me last night.” Isaac says seeming embarrassed.   
“In a fucking freezer! Oh my god, dude. No that’s not a little thing that’s horrible. I mean sometimes I got locked in a room but not a freezer, wow. I just wow. I have a lot of respect for you, to even still be here” I say feeling completely horrified by what Isaac has said.   
“It wasn’t a big deal. I’m a horrible person anyway. I was relieved when they told me he was dead.” Isaac admits.   
“That doesn’t make you a horrible person at all. I’m sorry you’ve had to live like that. Derek won’t be like that” I assure him. He smiles a bit and shrugs. There’s a knock on the door and he gets up to answer it. Erica is on the other side. She hugs him tightly as soon as the door is closed.   
“Oh god, I was so worried about you. I know you told me not to tell anyone about your dad and I didn’t but then today I was so scared” she says.   
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Dad just locked me up before driving around drunk. He didn’t hurt me” Isaac says. Erica scowls.   
“Locking you up is hurting you Isaac.” She says and he turns his head away. She sighs.   
“Hey Scott” she says slowly letting Isaac go.   
“Hey” I say. Derek comes in soon after. Isaac jumps up.   
“Uh this is Erica, she’s my friend and uh was worried about me, is it ok for her to be here” he asks quickly.   
“Yeah that’s fine, no worries” Derek promises. Isaac sighs in relief.   
“How about we order pizza tonight.” Derek suggests. We all agree and he goes to see what Stiles and Lydia want.   
We end up watching movies until we fall asleep, Erica stays since it’s Friday. I startle awake when it thunders outside. Everyone else is still sleeping. I slip away from Allison so I can use the restroom. Derek is in his office as I go by.   
“Why are you working at like 2 in the morning” I ask.   
“I had an idea pop into my head, I wanted to write it out before I forget it.” Derek tells me   
“oh that’s cool. I do that sometimes.” I admit.  
“Is Isaac settling in alright” Derek asks.   
“Yeah I think so. Look uh I was thinking maybe he should talk with Marva too. He just told me a couple of things but uh I think maybe he’s been being hurt for a long time.” I explain.   
“I thought so too. He stayed here about five years ago. Mom tried to get him to open up but his ‘father’ got custody back and then cut off contact with us. I should have tried harder to get him out” Derek says.   
“I don’t think you would have been able to though. I mean Isaac seems to think that his father was only a little heavy handed. He probably wouldn’t have told social workers the truth. I know none of us would have” I admit. He sighs.  
“I know, I guess all we can do is move forward from here” he says. I nod.  
“Allison hurt herself again today” I admit sadly.   
“Do you know why” Derek asks.   
“Not yet, but she felt really bad about it. Actually it was Isaac that came and get me. He found her crying in her doorway and came running to us. I think he’ll fit in well here. Does he get to stay” I ask knowing that sometimes foster kids get tossed around.   
“Yeah I will make sure he gets to.” Derek promises and I yawn.   
“Go back to bed and get some sleep. I’m headed to bed myself in just a few. Oh and Scott thank you for coming to me with your concerns. That means a lot to me.” He says making my face suddenly feel hot. I head on to the bathroom and then back to the living room curling around Allison and falling back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allison has a flashback to an assault that took place at school, it's not descriptive.  
> Isaac talks about the abuse from his father very briefly  
> And Allison self harms.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Sorry for the delay once again. I think I may be bringing this story to an end soon. :( not quite sure though I still have some stuff I want to happen. Anyway warnings at the end. Enjoy.

Allison POV   
“You’re unusually quiet today” Marva says five minutes into the session. I shrug.   
“What’s going on in that head of yours” she questions gently. I sigh and stare at my hands.   
“Well you know my uh coping technique” I begin.   
“Are you talking about the self harm?” she answers annoyingly calm with a question.   
“Yeah uh I uh had a flashback on Friday. It was about something different and uh I just wanted it to stop. Cutting made it stop but then I felt so horrible about it. Why isn’t it working anymore” I ask sniffling.   
“Allison I know you don’t see it as such but this is a good thing. You are recognizing that it’s not a healthy coping way. What about the list I asked you to make how’s it coming?” Marva explains.   
“I only have a few things so far. I’m not very good at it” I admit sadly.   
“Hey now don’t discount yourself, let’s take a look at it” she responds. I nod and pull it out for her to see. 

Things to do instead of cut   
Color in my mosaic coloring book  
Listen to music  
Tear up paper  
Punch my pillow

I bite my nail nervously as she looks at it.   
“Allison these are all very wonderful. I’m so proud of you for coming up with these. Sometimes you’ll come across something that helps without even realizing it. When you do just add them to your list. Before long you’ll have a big list to go to.” Marva says. I nod feeling very relieved that it wasn’t too short or anything.   
“We haven’t discussed it too much at this point but I’d like to talk about your emotions when you cut, how does it make you feel better” she continues.   
“I’m not sure, it’s different. Sometimes I just want to stop feeling anything and it’s the fastest way to shut down but then I don’t know sometimes I want to feel the pain. That’s why the rubber band didn’t really work for me” I admit.   
“Ok we can work with those. I think I have something to add to your list. When your wanting the pain hold a piece of ice to your wrist or even just in your palm. See how that works” she suggests.   
“I’ll try that I guess.” I say and she smiles.   
“That’s all I ask, just try and know it’s ok if it doesn’t work for you. Now I know Isaac has been officially moved in and he’ll be starting with me next week, how have things been with him in the house” she asks.   
“Pretty good. Scott, Stiles and him have a lot in common so he just kinda fits and he got me hooked on a new TV show called Doctor Who. It’s weird though” I admit.   
“What’s weird” Marva inquires.   
“He’s been nice, he’s a bit shy but I don’t feel afraid of him like I do most guys. I guess I just wonder why. Like is it because he’s actually good like Stiles and Scott. I thought maybe there wasn’t any other good ones.”  
“What about Derek” Marva says.   
“He’s good too but guys my age have never been safe. I learned that the hard way” I admit.   
“Can you tell me what you mean by that” Marva presses gently.   
“There was a guy, he was so nice to me, last year. I thought he really liked me but I knew I wasn’t allowed to date because of the orphanage rules so I told him no when he asked me out. Then later that day I was in the girls bathroom and he came in. He uh did stuff.” I admit tears sliding down my face.   
“Does anyone know about this time” Marva asks moving to sit next to me.   
“No, not even Scott or Lydia knows. I’m sorry” I manage between tears. Marva holds my hand gently.   
“It’s ok, thank you for telling me. Do you think maybe you can tell me his name” she asks. I shake my head. “That’s ok you don’t have to. Let’s shelf it for now. Let’s envision your safe place” she suggests. I close my eyes and take a deep breath calming almost instantly.   
“That’s it. Good job. Just relax. You are safe now” Marva says softly. It takes a few minutes for the trembling to stop but I finally open my eyes.   
“Sorry” I tell her feeling embarrassed by freaking out.   
“Nope, nothing to be sorry for, ok” she says and I nod. She moves back to her chair.   
“So uh I got my assessment back for the test we all had to take” I say changing the subject. Marva who is used to it goes along.   
“So what did it tell you” she asked.   
“Uh it said my IQ is 155 and my reading level is college level. It also had indicators of a learning disorder. I did some online thing that said I have dyscalculia, like you said, but uh that 155 IQ is actually genius level so uh I guess I’m kinda smart.” I say playing with my hair.   
“Just kinda, huh” Marva says smiling slightly. “I think you are extremely smart and it’s one of the reasons that you are still alive” she goes on to say.   
“I think maybe one day I’ll believe that, just not right now.” I admit. She nods.   
“Ok how about the phrase we worked out last week can you say it for me please? I take a deep breath.   
“I am a precious, lovely whole young woman” I say my voice only breaking at the end.   
“That’s great, Allison. I’m so proud of you.” Marva praises.   
“I don’t believe it though” I tell her honestly.  
“I know, but you’ll get there” she promises. We switch to lighter subjects for the last bit of the session. Scott is waiting outside for me. We decided to always have one person with each of us when we go to therapy so that we won’t be alone afterwards.   
“So we are supposed to go check out the extra curricular today, do you know what you want to try” Scott asks.   
“No, not a clue. It definitely won’t be sports because I suck at it but I don't know I’m hoping there’s like a reading club or something” I tell him. He smiles.   
“They might, I know if there is a poetry club that I will want to try it and besides you might be good at sports just not ones that involve you throwing a ball. Oh, you could try dodge ball ” he says laughing. I shove him good-naturedly and we get into the car as Derek pulls up.   
“What are you two laughing about” he asks. I roll my eyes.   
“Oh just uh Ally’s throwing skills” he says still giggling. Derek raises his eyebrows in the mirror. I sigh dramatically.   
“I kinda have a tendency to uh hit people with whatever ball we have, not purposely, it just kinda happens ” I tell him. Derek snorts.   
“Oh ok. Well there are other sports that you could try. I know the archery team is really good, you might like it” he suggests. I shrug, not really confident about it. We pull in to the recreational center soon after. 

Derek’s POV   
I feel a bit excited as I walk in with Scott and Allison. The youth center is one I got involved in and helped me get to where I am, I’m hoping it can be an outlet for them as well. Stiles runs up to meet us.   
“Oh my God guys you have to come see this, there’s this group, no you have to see for yourself” he says and heads off in a determined stride. Scott and Allison follow him. Although knowing it could be anything I follow out of curiosity. I find them all at the renaissance table just hovering. I smile and walk up to them.   
“You guys like the renaissance huh” I ask. They nod almost as one.   
“well go ahead get some information about it. You guys can get as many little flyers as you want and we’ll come back for sign ups tomorrow.” I say trying to be encouraging. They hesitantly walk up to the table.   
“HI I’m Brandi, are you guys interested in joining our Renaissance Faire club” the girl at the table asks.   
“Uh maybe, we like that era, can we maybe have some info about it” Stiles asks for the group.   
“Oh yeah no problem, here’s one with times and schedule stuff, then this one has some pictures of past years and then just general info” the girl says cheerily. They thank her and walk on somewhat awkwardly. They eventually scatter onto different areas. They say they are ready about an hour later hands full of pamphlets.   
“Alright let’s head out then” I say and we pile into the car to head home. Once there they spread out the info they acquired and I head to fix dinner, Isaac joins them when he gets home from school. I call them once it’s ready.   
“So do you guys know what you might be interested in” I ask as we eat.   
“Yeah we uh each have four things that we chose, is that ok” Scott asks  
“I don’t see why not. The groups are designed so that if you feel overwhelmed you can step back as long as you need. So what are your choices?” I ask  
“Ok well we are definitely doing the Renaissance Faire group and we talked Isaac into coming too. He thinks it’s worth a shot” Stiles starts off making Isaac roll his eyes but smile.  
“And speaking of we uh didn’t know you were in the Renaissance Faire group” Scott says smirking.   
“Well yeah when I was your age. Wait how do you know I was in it” I ask frowning. Stiles whips out the pamphlet with pictures grinning as he hands it to me. I look at it and groan dramatically.   
“I can’t believe they kept that. So what else are you taking” I say changing the subject.  
“I also chose Robotics because it looks freaking awesome, Lacrosse because I wasn’t allowed to at school and then the most amazing art class ever; like seriously it has Animation, Cartooning, Graphic Design, Sculpture, and woodworking.” Stiles finishes.   
“Dude you’re drooling” Scott says earning him a scowl from Stiles  
“I’m going to join Stiles in Lacrosse or at least try to, you know if my asthma lets me, then there’s a writing club and a slam poetry club so I’m pretty much set” Scott says.   
“I decided on physics club, a fashion and design club and then there’s a fencing/archery class that both Ally and I are going to do” Lydia speaks next.   
“Well besides the Renaissance and fencing/archery ones I also chose a photography/jewelry making group and psychology Club” Allison says shyly.   
“I uh looked at some of their pamphlets and uh thought you know if it’s ok maybe I could join the Literature club, if that’s ok” Isaac asks softly.   
“That sounds like a good idea Isaac” I tell him and he relaxes a little but not completely.   
“Uh well I need you to sign some papers, I uh got in trouble at school” he continues his eyes glued to the table as he pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. I take notice that they’ve all gone quiet and still. I reach for the paper slowly so as not to startle them. I read it and feel instant concern.   
“Isaac, I need you to know I’m not mad at you, ok. I do need to know if you are alright though. This says you were in a fight with five others. Are you injured anywhere” I ask taking care to keep my voice low and calm.   
“No sir, nothing I can’t handle” he says sitting up straight in his chair.   
“Isaac you won’t be in trouble if you are hurt, please tell me if you are hurt anywhere” I say concerned. He sags in the chair a bit.   
“My uh ribs hurt still, especially if I take a deep breath and my ankle is a little swollen, sorry” he admits.   
“It’s ok but that sounds like you may have broken ribs, you are not in any trouble but I need to call Alice, your caseworker, so we can document it. Did you get checked out by the nurse at school” I question gently.   
“No, Mr. Harris wouldn’t let me, said I could just deal with it cause I started it” Isaac tells us.   
“Mr. Harris is a super ass-hole” Stiles says getting an elbow from Lydia and a glare from Scott.   
“No seriously, the guy has his ‘chosen’ ones that can do no wrong which gives them free reign to do whatever the hell they want. Let me guess it was Jackson, Matt, Dylan, Roger, and Ethan” Stiles directs to Isaac who nods.   
“Ok I’m going to go call Alice, I’ll be right back” I promise and head into my office.   
“Derek, is everything ok” Alice asks as she answers the phone.   
“No, Isaac gave me a note that said he has in school suspension for a week for fighting with five others. He’s hurt but hasn’t been checked out. I figured I’d give you a call to get it documented. I’m pretty sure I want him out of that God forsaken school” I tell her. She sighs.   
“Alright I have a doctor friend that owes me. I’ll bring her with me. I should be there within the hour” she says. I tell her ok and head back to the kitchen.   
“ She’s coming over with a doctor to check on you, ok” I tell Isaac as I sit back down.   
“I’m sorry for causing trouble” he says.   
“Hey, its not your fault. I mean you didn’t hit yourself” Scott says before I can say anything. Isaac smiles a bit.  
“No, but I guess maybe I should have just walked away, not said anything” he admits.   
“What did they say” Stiles asked.   
“They knew about me living here and kept saying horrible things about all of you. I may have called them a bunch of ignorant pieces of shit that can’t tie their own shoes” Isaac tell them.   
“Wow, that’s awesome. You are now my favorite person ever” Stiles tells him. Isaac glances towards me.   
“In my opinion that’s not starting a fight. Just out of curiosity how many times have they hurt you in the last week” I ask.   
“Every day just usually not in front of the teachers.” Isaac admits. I nod thinking how I’ll go about getting him into the homeschooling the others are in. We change the subject to tv shows which gets Allison excitedly talking about Doctor Who. They head into the living room when I tell them I will take care of dishes. Alice arrives just as I’m finishing.   
“This is Claire, she’s going to check you over make sure everything is ok” Alice says to Isaac who is now alone in the kitchen.   
“I’m going to go sit with the others ok, Isaac. Remember you did nothing wrong, you aren’t in trouble, ok” I tell him and he nods. They come out about fifteen minutes later.   
“What’s the verdict” I ask.   
“He has two broken ribs and a sprained ankle. I’ll be filing a report against the school in the morning. Don’t worry it’s clear from the bruises this didn’t happen here” Claire says. I nod feeling relieved.   
“I agree with what you asked earlier Derek. He needs to rest for the next couple of days anyway. I’ll be back by Monday alright ” Alice says before leaving.   
“Are you kicking me out” Isaac asks.   
“What? No! Of course not, what I asked her about was actually getting you out of that school.” I explain.   
“Does that mean he gets to join us in homeschooling” Stiles asks.   
“I can’t guarantee that but yeah that’s what I’m going to try to set up” I tell them.   
“Sweet, you will seriously love it” Scott tells him. We watch tv for a couple of hours before everyone heads off to bed. Isaac lingers.   
“Um I just wanted to say thanks you know for being nice and everything” he says.  
“You don’t have to thank me for that Isaac, it’s how you deserve to be treated.” I tell him honestly. He shrugs and heads to his room. 

Stiles POV   
“Auugghh” emits from my mouth as a banging on the door wakes me up. I get up and find a very frantic looking Isaac.   
“Please he’s going to find me” he says making his way into my room and towards the corner.   
“Isaac, you are safe here. No one is going to hurt you” I try hoping to calm him down.   
“No I got in trouble he’ll be mad at me. I don’t want to go in the freezer” he says starting to hyperventilate. Derek appears in the doorway.   
“Everything ok” he asks softly causing Isaac to begin whimpering.   
“Please I’m sorry, don’t lock me in the freezer, dad. Please” he begs huddling down in the corner.   
“Isaac, it’s ok. You are safe here. I won’t hurt you. It’s me, Derek.” Derek says still staying in the doorway.   
“D-D- Derek, where’s my dad” Isaac asks. I look to Derek for that answer.   
“He’s not here. You are safe. Let’s go back to bed. Stiles will walk with us if you want” Derek says.   
“Yeah Stiles is nice” Isaac says as he walks to the door. We get him back to his room where he just goes and lays down immediately. Derek closes the door and I give him a confused look.   
“Isaac sleep walks. It can be pretty vivid. He slept walked a lot when he lived here last time. He won’t remember any of it. He got scared a lot but never said anything that would get him away from that bastard. God a freezer” Derek says leaning against the wall.   
“He actually told us about that. He said it wasn’t a big deal. Like it was nothing” I tell him. Derek sighs.   
“Yeah sounds about right. He always said his father never hurt him. I guess because he thought he deserved it.” He says.   
“Well I know how that goes. I mean I guess I can kinda see now that the stuff that happened at the orphanage was bad but you know I just thought I was a bad kid” I admit. Derek nods.   
“I felt the same way until I started living here. It took a while though. Mom was great. I just hope I can help all of you like she did me, ya know.” Derek says.   
“Dude, you’ve done a lot more than you think. I mean yeah sometimes I still get scared but deep down I know you won’t hurt me or any of the others. Even the girls trust you and that’s huge. Every man they’ve ever met has hurt them. You changed that” I tell him feeling super sappy. He smiles.   
“Thanks Stiles, I’ll try to remember that” he says and we both head back to bed. I don’t sleep well but get up anyway and head downstairs.   
“Isaac if you want you can come with us to sign up for activities. Are there any others you want to join?” Derek asks at breakfast.   
“I don’t know, maybe. I was thinking maybe Lacrosse with Stiles and Scott if that’s ok” Isaac says hesitantly.   
“Sounds good to me” Derek says as I give Isaac a high five. We clean up after breakfast and head out to sign up. It actually goes pretty quickly and we are back at the house around 10.   
“Ok so you can settle in on the couch and watch some tv with an ice pack while we do our school stuff, sound good” Scott says getting said ice pack for Isaac.   
“Dude you’re like a mother hen, chill” I tell him. Isaac and Lydia laugh as Allison smirks.   
“I was just being nice but fine be that way” Scott says dramatically as he tosses the ice pack to Isaac and walks out.  
“Hey no watching doctor who without me” Allison says as we follow Scott.   
“Scouts honor” Isaac hollers as we leave.   
I find an email once I log in and see that it’s from Ethan.   
“Hey there Stiles. I almost got caught last week with the weed. I’ve narrowed it down and I know it had to be you who squealed. So here’s the deal you can meet up with me on Friday afternoon after school or I’ll slit Lydia and Allison’s throats. Don’t think that just because you mostly stay at home I can’t do it. I even know that their room is between yours and Scott's . See ya soon. Pipsqueak. 

I close it out and take a deep breath. I hate lying to my friends but I have to keep them safe so around the time school would be out I tell them I’m going for a walk and head towards the school. It’s pretty empty when I get there.   
“Thought you were going to bail on me, pipsqueak” Ethan says stepping out from behind a tree.   
“You’ve seen way to many action movies dude, trying to be all formidable and shit” I blurt out. He laughs.   
“Yeah well see you and I have a problem here. You wanna explain yourself” he says moving closer to me.   
“I don’t know what you are talking about dude but since you threatened my friends I figured I’d show up. I need more anyway.” I tell him.   
“So it wasn’t you who told I was selling huh” he says in a voice that says he doesn’t believe me.   
“No I didn’t. It was Jackson. He was bitching about how he’s not top dog and he was going to get you in trouble” I tell him. He smiles and pats my face, laughing when I flinch.   
“See you’re such a good little pipsqueak. Now if you want some it’s gunna cost you.” He says stepping back.   
“I have the money” I tell him.   
“No see I was looking forward to beating the shit out of someone. So if you want it you’ll just take it. It’s not like you haven’t had worse” he says before throwing a punch to my stomach. I go down easily and stay down trying to keep my face protected. Finally he stops and picks me up with his hand on my throat.   
“Now just remember, I know where you live and I will come for you if I find out that you squealed.” He says throwing me down.   
“Got it” I tell him. He throws a bag at me before walking away. I shove it in my pocket and head back towards the house.   
“Dude you took a long walk, everything ok” Scott asks when I come back in.   
“Yeah I’m fine just you know getting out of my head” I tell him. He nods. Lydia gives me an odd look but doesn’t say anything. I sneak away to the bathroom to check everything out. Definitely some broken ribs and bruises already forming up and down my torso. I take some pain meds from the shelf and down them without water. A knock on the door startles me. I make sure I’m covered before opening the door. It’s Derek.   
“Dinner is ready, you ok” he asks.   
“I’m fine, as if it even matters” I say feeling angry at Derek for what had happened.   
“Just asking and yes it does matter” Derek says.  
“Whatever” I say stomping past him.   
“Stiles, calm down please” Derek says calmly. I don’t say anything just continue towards the kitchen. Derek comes in behind me. The others aren’t there yet.   
“Care to tell me what that was about” he asks sitting down.   
“No” I tell him and sit quietly as the others pile in. Thankfully he lets it go. I help wash up more quiet than usual and decide to go to bed early. Lydia comes up soon after.   
“What’s going on Stiles” she asks sitting down on my bed.   
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.” I try.   
“Where did you go on your walk” she asks.   
“To see Ethan. He sent me an email threatening you and Ally. He knew I told. I got him to believe it was Jackson so everything is ok” I tell her. She gives me the classic Lydia glare.   
“Did he hurt you” she questions. I nod not looking at her.   
“Hey I'm not mad, let me see” she prods gently. I lift my shirt and she gasps.  
“Oh Stiles. You don’t have to do this for us. Come on Derek needs to see this” she says.   
“No. He promised that Ethan wouldn’t know it was me. It’s his fault” I tell her.   
“No its Ethan’s fault but if you don’t want to go to Derek I understand just don’t go again. Please promise me that you’ll tell Derek if he emails you again” she says.   
“Ok. I will.” I tell her. She kisses my forehead before leaving. I get a little bit of sleep before waking to bad nightmares. I grab my bag from Ethan and slip out the window. I finish two rolls and walk to the front door knowing I won’t be able to get back in my window. Derek is sitting on the porch making me flinch.   
“Uh hi Derek I was uh just taking a walk” I tell him. He just looks at me.   
“Ok you know what I was smoking so what” I say  
“So where’d you get it” Derek asks.   
“None of your business” I tell him.   
“You are under my care it is my business. Did you lie about having more” he questions.   
“No its fresh and so are these” I say lifting my shirt. Derek finally stands. I can’t help flinching. He walks towards me slowly.   
“Stiles, please tell me what happened.” He asks  
“Ethan knew it was me who squealed. He threatened the girls. I managed to convince him it wasn't me. He beat me up a little and gave me more pot. You said he wouldn’t know but he did” I tell him.   
“God Stiles. I’m sorry. I reported it anonymously. I really did not think it would come back to you.” He says so genuinely that I feel bad even through the haze of being stoned.   
“It’s not really your fault. I’m sorry. Please you have to punish me” I tell him. He nods.   
“Ok I need you to give me your phone” he says reluctantly. I hand it over easily.   
“You can have it back in a week, ok. Let’s take a look at those ribs” he says.   
“Wait that’s it. I was horrible, Derek. That can’t be all you do” I tell him.   
“I’m the adult and I say it’s enough, ok please come inside” he tries again.   
“Well what if I punch you, would you do something then” I ask.   
“No” he says. I sink to the ground where I am trying to hold myself together.   
He squats in front of me.   
“I know you think that you deserve pain. It will get better” he says.   
“What if I don’t want it to get better. I love my friends I do but sometimes I just don’t want to be here anymore. I wish I had the guts to just go through with it. Get it over with so no one has to deal with me. That’s why I went today. I thought he might kill me but I couldn’t follow through” I admit. I tense as he pulls me into his arms.   
“Stiles, listen to me. I want you here, Scott, Allison, and Lydia want you here. More than that they legitimately need you. We’re going to help you, ok.” He promises. I nod afraid to actually speak. He helps me inside to the couch. He examines my ribs and tapes them up after I beg him not to report it. I fall somewhat asleep but hear him on the phone with someone.   
“Are you making me leave” I mumble.   
“No just talking to Marva. You have an appointment in the morning” Derek explains.   
“Ok” I say before falling completely asleep. 

Lydia’s POV   
I’m unsurprised to find Stiles on the couch with Derek sleeping in a chair. Derek wakes as I come into the room.   
“Hey” I say.   
“Good morning.” He says  
“What happened” I ask but Stiles wakes up before he can say anything.   
“Oh hey Lyds, you're going to be mad at me” he says when he sees me. I sit down next to him as he sits up.   
“No, I’m not. You got more weed didn’t you” I ask. He nods.   
“That’s not why you're going to be mad at me. I told Derek last night. I’m sorry.” He says not looking at me.   
“He indicated that he doesn’t want to live” Derek interjects softly. I pull Stiles closer to me.   
“It’s ok Stiles. I’m not mad. You told someone this time. That’s what matters, right” I ask towards Derek.   
“She’s right. I made an appointment to see Marva at 10 ok. I’m going to go fix breakfast” he says. I nod.   
“I’m sorry” Stiles says leaning against me.   
“Why are you sorry” I ask still holding onto him.   
“Because I tried to stop feeling this way I swear I did and things are better now I should be better” he tries to explain.  
“Stiles, it may be more than that. It’s ok to be depressed which is what I think this is. You know that can be a chemical imbalance, right. There’s not anything you’ve done wrong” I tell him.   
“So my brain’s just fucked up then” he says.   
“Well I guess that’s one way to look at it but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Besides I need to tell you something anyway. I’ve been cutting again” I admit. He sits up more to look at me. I shrink away slightly.   
“Hey if you aren’t mad at me I can’t be mad at you. How many times?” he asks pulling me back towards him.   
“Just twice. Both times after nightmares.” I tell him.   
“Ok twice isn’t a lot. It was almost every day and now it’s only twice in the last month. That’s something. What all have you tried to keep from doing that” he asks.   
“I have a list Marva had me make. Writing in my journal and coloring typically helps but after a nightmare I just want to feel numb” I explain. He nods.   
“Ok well how’s this then. When the nightmares are making you want to cut come get me. We’ll either talk or watch tv or something. Or if you want I’ll just hold you. Whatever works” Stiles suggests. I smile.   
“But I don’t want you to lose sleep because of me” I say and he brushes my hair to the side with his hand.   
“Lydia I would rather lose a little bit of sleep if it helps you than for you to hurt yourself.” He promises. I lean forward and kiss him on the lips before pulling away.   
“I’m sorry” I tell him and try to leave.   
“Don’t leave, it’s ok Lyds” he says. I sit back down and he smiles.   
“If you are ok with that then I am. I never want to make you uncomfortable though” he says.   
“Ok well um do you wanna do that again” I ask.   
“If you do then yeah but only if you do” he says. I launch forward again getting a bit into it until we hear a throat clear. I jerk away quickly.   
“Uh, hi Derek” Stiles squeaks out.  
“Um breakfast is ready so uh yeah if you want to wake the others up” he stutters before walking out.   
Stiles and I grin to each other before going to wake everyone else up. After breakfast Derek says we all need to talk so we go to sit in the living room.   
“Did we do something wrong” Allison asks.   
“No uh we just uh have to talk. Uh so you guys are uh 16 and stuff. Uh I know you’ve uh been through a lot and uh maybe have uh feelings for each other. So uh there are some rules. Uh no sleeping in each others room. I’m ok with couches just not you know together. And uh if you want to do other stuff talk to me about it. Yeah that’s about it” he manages to say while pacing.   
“Um dude is this your version of the sex talk” Isaac asks.   
“What! No. Well kinda, maybe yes” Derek answers.   
“It’s cool we get it” Scott says for all of us who are a bit red-faced.   
“Ok uh good talk” Derek says awkwardly and we head off to do different things.   
“You want me to come with you today” I ask Stiles.   
“Yeah that would be good” he says softly. We both go to get dressed and head out to meet Derek. Derek waits out at the car while Stiles and I go in. Marva has Stiles come in alone so I play a game on my phone. The session is only 30 minutes so Stiles comes out with a paper.   
“She uh gave me a prescription for some depression meds, I guess” he says. I hug him tightly.   
“It will be alright” I assure him.   
Scott’s POV  
“So uh why do you think he had that talk with us” Allison asks.   
“Well I think he might have caught Stiles and Lyds kissing” Isaac says awkwardly.   
“Seriously, why do you think that” I ask.   
“Um I heard him in the kitchen. He was muttering about them kissing and what he was supposed to do” Isaac explains.   
“Oh wow. That’s interesting” I say. Allison nods.   
“Yeah I guess so” Isaac says shrugging.   
“Let’s watch something until they get back” Allison says. We just channel surf until the others get back. Once they are back I quickly get Stiles alone.   
“Did you and Lydia kiss” I ask. He nods.   
“But it was her idea. I wouldn’t do that to her” he says.   
“Bro I know that. You’d never hurt her. Just do you think Ally might want that” I ask.   
“I don’t know. But dude if you aren’t ready for that then you don’t have to be.” He says.   
“Why would I not be” I ask.   
“You uh had a nightmare the other night. You talked in your sleep. About a guy when you were younger.” He says softly.   
“Oh that. It doesn’t count.” I tell him.   
“What dude yes it does. Why would you think it doesn’t” I ask.   
“Because Johnathan said that it only happens to girls” I say ashamedly.   
“Well Johnathan is a fucking asshole. Think of it like this if it was me would you say it didn’t count” he questions.   
“No of course not!” I blurt out. Then realize why he asked. “oh”   
“Yep. I’m sorry that happened to you.” Stiles says sincerely.   
“Thanks. I think though I’d be ok with kissing if Ally wants to.” I say and Stiles smiles.  
“Well I’m sure your time will come” he says and I roll my eyes. We join everyone else to watch movies. Saturday has become family day for us. As we’re heading to bed Allison pulls me to the kitchen.   
“So uh I was wondering if may even you’d like to kiss me on the lips instead of just the forehead” she says shyly.   
“Well yeah if that’s ok with you” I say. She nods so I move closer to her but let her move the rest of the way. She leans in for a kiss. Her lips taste like strawberry. It’s soft and sweet. We pull away and she smiles. She kisses me again and Derek walks in.   
“Oh god, not again” he says and just walks out. Allison giggles and we head to our rooms. I sleep pretty well for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More detailed talk of the reasons behind cutting   
> Drug use  
> Threats of death and violence towards Stiles by his drug dealer  
> Talk of depression and suicide also depression meds  
> Brief talk about sexual abuse with Scott.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things, first once again sorry for the long time between chapters also I went back and edited grammar on each chapter, probably still missed a lot but it's a little better and the warnings are at the end

Lydia’s POV  
I’m kinda tired after my session with Marva but get excited because Allison and I are planning a surprise party for Stiles this Friday. Scott is helping by distracting Stiles when we bring stuff in and Derek has offered his office to hide it all in. Isaac is planning something as well but being super mysterious about it.  
“Ok, so Scott got Stiles distracted by finding a star wars fan site. He says we owe him cookies because Stiles is yelling at people for their ‘inherent stupidity’” Allison says giggling as we walk out to meet Alice.   
“So you girls need to run some errands” she asks.   
“Yeah we gotta get stuff for Stiles party on Friday” I explain.   
“Well that sounds fun. Do you have a theme picked out for him” she b questions as she drives to the mall.   
“Star Wars, Derek introduced us to them and Stiles is a teensy bit obsessed” I tell her. Allison giggles.   
“Lyds, a little bit, really? More like super mega nerd out obsessed” she says still giggling. I laugh as well. Alice drops us off after offering to come with, and says she’ll cone back whenever we’re ready.   
“So first we’ll head to the party place and get decorations” I say and we set off on a mission. An hour and a half later we’re ready to go, both loaded down with bags. Alice smiles and helps us put it in the car. We check with Derek and Scott to see that Stiles is still thoroughly distracted before sneaking in.   
Derek locks his office, just in case and we head to the school/computer room.   
“Hey guys, you should see this so called fan-site. Horrible people, really. So I started my own fan site. There’s been a bunch of hits. I blocked all the haters” Stiles tells us.   
“I’ll take your word for it” I say and Allison smiles.   
“How’d therapy go” Stiles asks softly.   
“Eh, it wasn’t too bad. We talked more about the physical side of things.” I say, the others grimace. Later that night I get Stiles alone.   
“You, ok” he asks. I nod.   
“Do you think it’s really possible that one of the orphanage people could have killed us” I ask softly.   
“Yeah, I do. You don’t think so” he questions   
“I don’t know, maybe. It just makes it all seem so much worse” I try to explain.   
“Yeah it does. It’s a horrible realization but Marva said that me recognizing it is a step in the right direction ,it’s the same for you” He offers and I break down. He holds me close and lets me cry.   
“We’re ok now Lyd’s. We’re safe” he says repeatedly while rubbing my back. Eventually I calm down, taking a few breaths.   
“Can we go sleep on the couches” I ask. He nods. We fall asleep watching one of the star wars movies.   
Friday finally comes and Isaac has taken Stiles with him to therapy so we can set things up.   
“I got the cake, it’s pretty epic” Derek says as he comes into the living room. We look at it and agree. It has figurines of Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker with light sabers. Erica comes over to help. We finish setting up as Isaac and Stiles come in.   
“Dude, why are your hands over my eyes, it’s a little freaky.” Stiles says as Isaac walks him in. He removes his hands.   
“Surprise” we all say.   
He opens and closes his mouth several times without speaking.   
“Ha, you guys silenced him” Derek says, we all laugh.   
“you guys, you didn’t have to do this” Stiles finally says.   
“Yeah but we wanted too, so ha” Allison says. He hugs us each in turn. We have pizza and cake before he opens the pile of presents.   
“you guys seriously rock” he says after opening the framed poster sized picture of him and his parents. He wipes away a few tears discreetly.   
“Hey are you getting to stay all night” Stiles asks Erica once we’re settled in on the couches.   
“Yeah, mom died dad are a lot less clingy own that we have a med that’s actually working. I haven’t had a seizure in five months.” She explains  
“Wow what meds do they have you on” Lydia asks.   
“Uh it’s this new thing called lycanthropetine. It has an odd side effect of making my hair growth more” Erica says.   
“No offense but that drug sounds like a name for a werewolf” Stiles says. Erica snorts.   
“That’s what I said too. Get this the guy that created it goes by Dr. Moon” she says and we all laugh.   
“ So I guess the whole, bad things happen on Friday the 13th is just a bunch of hooey” Stiles says with a yawn.   
“Well duh. Only superstitious people believe that” Allison says  
“Actually there is some truth to it. I used to work at the grocery store, kinda a community service thing, and without fail the craziest customers came in on Friday the 13th’s” Derek says  
“Huh, that’s pretty weird” Scott says yawning.   
“Alright how about we put on another movie to fall asleep to, Stiles, whatever do you want to watch” I ask.  
“Fox and The Hound” he answers immediately. I smile and put it in. I’m pretty sure we’re all out before the movie ends. 

A week and a half later  
Allison’s POV   
May 24th   
Tomorrow is Scott’s birthday. He asked us to not do a surprise party this year so we’re respecting that. It’s just going to be a day of movies and junk food. Marva moved his therapy day to mine so that he wouldn’t have to come in on his birthday. Therapy sucks. Marva has me writing down instances of abuse and putting them on a timeline. So far we’re to age 10 and I dread moving forward. To be fair though I’ve had a lot less nightmares since we started doing it.   
“Hey, whatcha doing” Scott asks startling me slightly.   
“Just writing in my journal, what’s up” I ask   
“I’m not feeling all that great. Not like sick exactly just I feel super restless and at the same time like I’ve just run a marathon” he explains. I frown in concern.  
“Like your body hurts or out of breath” I question standing up to walk towards him  
“Not out of breath but like I can’t quite get enough, why” he asks. My eyes widen.   
“Those are symptoms of an asthma attack, we need to get you to the hospital” I tell him trying not to panic.   
“I’m sure it’s nothing” he says before dropping to his knees and frantically gaping for air with nothing coming out. I don’t realize I’m screaming until everyone is in the room.   
Stiles shoves his inhaler in his mouth, it only helps a little.   
“We need to get him to the hospital now” Derek says carrying him out to the car. I follow. Derek drives way over the speed limit while I try to keep Scott from freaking out, which is difficult seeing as his lips are turning blue and I’m on the verge of a complete meltdown. What seems like am eternity later we arrive at the hospital where they whisk Scott away. Derek guides me to a chair. I hear him talking on the phone but it’s far and away.   
“What if Scott dies”  
“I should have seen this sooner”   
“I can’t live without him”  
“I don’t deserve him, I let this happen”  
“I hate myself”  
“I should be punished”   
All the thoughts swirl in my head.   
“I’m going to get a drink of water” I tell Derek.   
“That’s fine, are you sure that you’re ok” he asks concerned. I nod my head and walk away. I don’t go to get a drink, instead I slip into an empty room. I feel floaty.  
“Hurt”  
“Pain”  
“Punish”   
I hear in my head. Scott wouldn’t want me to though”  
“Scott might be dead because of you”   
“Pain”   
“Now”   
The door opens and I turn.  
“There you are I was starting to worry. Oh my God Allison, what did you do” Derek screams running towards me. I glance down to see blood and feel confused.   
“Is Scott ok” I say but notice my voice seems far away.   
“He’ll be fine, why did you do this, honey” Derek asks. I glance at him confused.   
“Do what” I ask   
“Allison, where are you right now” Derek asks cautiously.   
“Hmm, I don’t know, floating somewhere, it’s nice you should try it” I tell him.   
“Maybe some other time, let me finish with this” he says.   
“Hmmkay, I trust you. Your daddy Derek” I tell him.  
The next thing I know I’m sitting in a room with Marva.   
“Uh where’d you come from” I ask looking around. “and how’d I get here”   
“You disassociated pretty severely. I need to ask you some questions, ok” she says I nod.   
“What is your name” she begins  
“Allison” I answer   
“How old are you” she continues   
“17” I respond  
“Good, what’s the last thing you remember” she asks next.   
“Uh we came to the hospital cause Scott was having an asthma attack and then I don’t remember, is Scott ok” I ask.  
“Yes he’s ok. He’s resting in another room. I need you to look at your wrists but stay calm, can you do that” Marva says. I take a deep breath and nod before doing as she asked. My eyes widen.   
“Why are my wrists bandaged, did someone hurt me” I ask.   
“Well while you were disassociated you did it to yourself” Marva says.   
“But I didn’t mean to” I say trying not to freak out  
“I know, that’s why I’m here. Do you know what set this disassociation off” she asks.   
“I remember being really scared that Scott would die and I think I felt like it was my fault but I’m not sure, it’s all kind of blurry. Am I having a psychotic break” I ask horrified.   
“No, Allison. I think you just got overwhelmed and took a back seat for a while. Do you remember feeling floaty or far away” she asks  
“Yeah, Derek was here too” I remember suddenly  
“Yes he was, he’s just right outside actually. Since you didn’t mean to harm yourself you won’t have to stay on lock down but we will have to keep an eye on things. Now remember this doesn’t mean that you are crazy or anything. It’s natural for what you’ve been through, ok” Marva says patting my upper arm.   
“How bad are my cuts this time” I ask   
“You needed a couple of stitches on the right wrist but they’ll heal up” Marva promises.   
“May I go see Scott now” I ask. She smiles.   
“Of course you can. He’s just staying overnight as a precaution” she informs me. Derek is indeed leaning against the wall outside the door.   
“Hey” I say and he smiles.   
“You doing better” he asks and I nod. Marva takes me to Scott’s room and leaves but a nurse stays with us.   
“Hey are you ok” he asks.   
“I should be asking you that” I say tears burning my eyes.   
“No, Derek said it was pretty scary for you guys. He said you hurt yourself while disassociated” Scott says  
“I didn’t mean to do it though” I promise and he puts his hand over mine.   
“I know you didn’t sweetheart” he says kissing my hand and holding it to his cheek.   
“I don’t deserve you” I admit.   
“Are you kidding, you helped save my life. The doctor said it was a pretty severe attack, they’re changing my meds. If you hadn’t noticed the symptoms. I might not have made it” he tells me. I shrug and sit on the bed beside him.   
“I love you” I whisper. He runs a finger down my nose.   
“I love you too.” He says.   
“I’m not completely sure but I might have called Derek daddy Derek out loud. It’s kinda blurry.” I admit to Scott.   
“Eh we’ve been calling him that since Stiles birthday anyway, no worries” He says easily. 

Derek’s POV - goes back a bit  
“Marva I need you at the hospital” I say as greeting when she answers the phone.   
“Ok, I’m on the way, can you tell me what happened” she asks calmly.   
“Well we came here because Scott had a panic attack but then Allison, idk, she disassociated and cut herself badly. They’re stitching one up now. They think she’s suicidal. I don’t think she is. It was weird. Almost like talking to a different person” I explain to her while pacing.   
“Another person like she went by another name” Marva presses   
“No, just like she was confused as to who she was, kinda like amnesia. Is it possible to disassociate so severely she didn’t know what she did” I ask.   
“Yes that’s very possible, especially with everything she’s been through. I’m about two minutes away, meet me at the door” she requests gently. I reply affirmative and meet her outside which is good because I have a complete breakdown.   
Once I pull myself together I look over at her.   
“Thanks” I tell her knowing that saying sorry will get me nowhere and also that I really needed to get that out.   
“She kinda knew who I was” I say.   
“Oh, how so” she questions   
“She uh called me daddy Derek” I tell her my voice cracking as bit. She smiles.   
“See they trust you more than you think they do. Come on let’s go settle things” she says and we go back inside where she flies into action and shames a couple of nurses for making assumptions about Allison.   
“She is not a head case or a druggie or an attention hog. She’s been through hell and survived. I know you were trained better than this so you had better shape up if you want to continue in this field, do also possibly find some compassion.” Marva says never once raising her voice but getting her point across clearly.   
“What like she was abused or something” one of the nurses asks.  
“Yes actually if you must know. She’s one of the ones that came from the orphanage and trusted she’s cone a long way so I’ll invite you to stop speaking before you think.” Marva answers calmly, the nurse that spoke looks ashamed.   
“Ok now that, that is settled I’ll go speak with Allison.” Marva explains and goes into the room where Allison is staying. It feels like forever but is less than an hour when they both emerge. After taking Allison to Scott, Marva comes to talk to me.   
“She’s ok. She doesn’t remember hurting herself or much of it at all really. Pieces might come back or they might not. I want someone to have eyes on her at all times for the next week, just as a precaution. Next time she disassociates, I want you to help ground her. This time took a bit but I repeatedly told her she was safe while holding her hand asking her if she felt me holding it. Just keep up a litany of positive words until she recognize that you are holding her hand. Sound doable” Marva asks  
“Yeah I think I can handle that” I say with a yawn.   
“Go get some sleep I’ll keep an eye on them. Oh and Alice is with the others so they aren’t alone all night” Marva directs. I obey mostly because I’m too tired to attempt an argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allison disassociates and severely hurts herself by cutting her wrists. Scott has a asthma attack and ends up in the hospital 
> 
> And for anyone wondering the level of disassociation that Allison experiences is very possible and dies not mean she's crazy or anything.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter, shouldn't be too heavy. Hope you enjoy.

Scott’s POV   
“You know you’ve had a rough go of things when starting your 16th birthday in the hospital is still not the worst one you’ve had” I tell Allison as we wait for Derek to get all the papers signed so I can be released. She huffs.  
“Yeah I doubt this one even makes it close. Besides once we leave here we get to spend the rest of the day watching movies. Derek said he’s going to get us up to date on the Marvel movies. Apparently it makes more sense if you watch them in a certain order.” Allison says and I laugh. Derek comes back in with Marva.   
“You ready to get out of here” he asks.   
“Hell yeah, uh I mean yes please” I say giving him an innocent smile. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.   
“Just be glad they aren’t making you go out in a wheelchair, that’s typically protocol but I managed to get them to back down” Marva says before she leaves to start her day of seeing clients.   
When we get home, Isaac, Lydia, and Stiles are waiting by the door. They all hug me in turn.   
“No scaring us like that allowed” Lydia says smacking my arm playfully. No one mentions Allison’s wrists thankfully.   
“I’d love to stay and hang out but I have some clients to check in on so happy birthday Scott” Alice says handing me a wrapped present. I thank her and give her a small hug.   
“So are you still good with being schooled in the ways of Marvel or would you like to watch other things” Derek asks.   
“Dude there’s no way I’m missing out on what you have to teach us oh wise one” I say with a smirk. Allison giggles and wraps an arm around me as we sit down. We eat donuts as we watch Captain America: The First Avenger.   
“Whoa, hey wait is Howard Stark, Tony’s dad” I ask pausing the movie momentarily.   
“Yep, see there’s all sorts of connections” Derek says smugly. I roll my eyes and restart the movie. Lydia catches the Stan Lee cameo first, Derek having been banned from participating.   
“Dang Lyds, that was like super human abilities. I mean I would have got it after he spoke of course” Stiles says.   
“Its my super hero ability” Lydia deadpans making Derek accidentally snort his milk. At the end we fast forward the credits so we can see the post credits scene before moving on to Iron Man.  
“Ha, Stan Lee” Isaac shouts as Tony walks down the red carpet. Stiles flails off the couch grasping his chest.   
“Dude, you scared the monkey tarred fish lips out of me” he says  
“The what” Derek asks  
“Oh well it’s my new thing to come up with weird/awesome phrases to use. Kinda like my own version of cursing” Stiles admits proudly. Derek shakes his head and turns back to the movie. We stop for a bathroom/ stretching break before delving into Thor.   
I catch Stan Lee as the truck driver very proudly since it was on Stiles and Lydia’s lips.   
“Ha, you spoke too slow” I say high fiving Allison.   
“I think Loki might just be my favorite character” Allison says.   
“Uh he’s the bad guy, you realize that right” Stiles says  
“Well yeah kinda but look at how Odin treats him, especially after Loki finds out he’s not really his son. I mean maybe he’s just misguided” Allison attempts to explain. I laugh.   
“I’m not sure that trying to destroy the world counts as being misguided Ally” I say l, she sticks her tongue out at me and there is a knock on the door. Derek answers it.   
“Sup” Erica says plopping down on Isaac’s lap.   
“Hey, so who’s your favorite character from Thor” Allison asks   
“Duh it’s Loki. I mean so yeah he attempted to destroy the world but you know he’s not that bad of a guy” Erica says.  
“Plus Tom Hiddleston is a total hottie, not that Chris isn’t I just have a thing for the scrawny types” she continues and gives Isaac a one over as she does so. He blushes.   
“Lydia what about you, Loki’s the bad guy, right” Stiles asks.   
“Sorry I agree with them. I get that he’s a bad guy but maybe that’s why I like him. He plays a good bad guy.   
“He’s not the only one. Benedict Cumberbatch is like the best of all bad guys. You’ll have to watch the new Star Trek movies to understand. Or just watch bbc’s Sherlock. He’s not really a bad guy in that but he is a pretentious ass hole” Erica explains.   
“Erica” Derek warns lightly.   
“Oh come on, how else would you describe his version of Sherlock or any version actually” Erica says. Derek considers this and shrugs.   
“Ha, see you can’t” she says jamming one fist into the air.   
“Yeah, yeah, I still think you have way too much of a potty mouth” Derek says sending every single one of us into hysterics. Once I finally am able to control it is speak up.   
“Dude what are you like some five year old. Who uses the word potty-mouth anymore” I manage still giggling.   
“Well what would you call it” he asks fake grumpily.   
“Foal-mouthed?” Lydia offers. He rolls his eyes and goes to answer the door again. We pass out the pizza and settle in to watch Iron Man 2. Allison claims victory on the Stan Lee cameo while the rest of us have to go back to see it.   
“I have to admit, Iron Man might just be my favorite guy. He’s a prick but he’s a likeable prick” I say getting a slight glare from Derek. Stiles gets the Avengers Stan Lee cameo seconds before me and Isaac.   
“Now do you like Loki” I ask all of the girls. They nod together. I throw my hands up.   
“But I think I like Black Widow best of all” Allison admits.   
“Oh boy do not go saying that on the Internet. Everyone seems to think she’s this weak character with no plot whatsoever” Erica explains   
“Seriously, that’s stupid. Just from this movie alone you can tell she comes from a bad background probably abusive too, and now she’s trying to be the best she can” Allison says.   
“Oh I agree but a lot of marvel fans do not.” Erica says. We take another bathroom break and head into Iron Man 3. Allison and Lydia tie on the cameo.   
“So does Iron Man have PTSD, cause he totally did the same thing we do except you know falling out a worm hole and almost dying not stuff we went through” Stiles says.   
“Hey now don’t be discounting what you’ve been through.” Derek admonishes gently.   
“Ugh, you sound like Marva ” I say.   
“Well I certainly heard it from her enough times its not really surprising that it comes out” he admits.   
“So you tried to minimize what you went through too” Allison asks  
“Yeah, it’s pretty common, like if it was really ‘that bad’ then it’s harder to deal with but trust me the more you acknowledge the more you can work through and heal” Derek admits. An awkward silence follows until Stiles speaks up.   
“You totally just sounded like a fortune cookie” he says , Derek huffs and everyone giggles. It’s after 7pm by this point so we stop and order some take out before starting Thor:The dark world. We end up pausing just after Frigga’s death. I pretend to not be sniffling as Allison leans on my shoulder teary eyed.   
“I’m not crying there’s just a dust speck got in my eye” Stiles says after a loud sniffle. We hand out food and continue watching the movie. I claim victory for the cameo.   
“I think this might just be my favorite cameo he’s done” I say and the others agree. Erica begs her mom to let her stay the night before we start up Captain America: The Winter Soldier.   
Stiles claims victory of the cameo a split second before me.   
“So does this mean SHIELD doesn’t exist and man what a harsh blow to realize the assassin you are looking for was your best friend that you thought was dead. That would suck” I say after the movie

We make it through Guardians of the Galaxy, Isaac claiming the cameo victory before we decide to sleep since it’s now after midnight. We wake up a little later than usual but Derek says it’s alright. Erica heads home and Derek takes me and Allison to therapy.   
“So how was your birthday” Marva asks  
“It was pretty awesome. We had fun just watching movies all day. We still have a couple more before we’re caught up.” I say  
“Good, I’m glad you had a good day. So did you complete the homework for this week” she asks  
“Yeah, I don’t think I did it right” I admit shrinking inward  
“There’s not a wrong way to do it, may I see what you wrote” she asks. I hand over my paper.   
“So we went over lies that you were taught by the man that abused you sexually and homework was to replace them with truth. For ‘it wasn’t real because I’m a guy’ you wrote ‘it can happen to anyone not just girls’ then for ‘I’m weak for letting it happen’ you wrote ‘ I was a child and had no power over what happened’ these are wonderful Scott. You did great” Marva praises making me blush a bit.   
“I guess so” I say dismissively.   
“No really Scott it shows how far you’ve come that you can come up with positives even if you don’t fully believe them. Last week you said you wanted to work on the disassociation issues so let’s switch over to that” Marva says. I feel strangely ok after the session and I sit down to wait for Allison. 

Allison POV   
“How are you feeling about what happened at the hospital” Marva asks as I sit down across from her.   
“Kinda guilty, kinda scared that I could do that without meaning to” I answer honestly.   
“That’s understandable. I think you are in a place where we can start working on the disassociation more in depth.” Marva explains.   
“How” I ask  
“Well I thought today we could start to work on replacing lies with truths. So what are some of the lies that you have come to believe.” Marva asks once we start our session.   
“Um, well, sometimes they told me I enjoyed it and I guess they were right cause I, you know” I say looking down.   
“You had orgasms” she questions softly. I nod, eyes filling with burning tears.   
“Yes, you are correct, that is a lie. Do you know why it’s a lie” she asks. I shake my head.   
“You’ve had health classes right” she continues. I nod again wiping the few stray tears that have fallen.   
“Then you know that our bodies are designed to respond certain ways to certain things. It doesn’t mean that you enjoyed what they did. We’ll stop here for a moment, I want you to combat that with a truth” she asks. It takes me a couple of minutes to speak.   
“Um, my body works correctly” I say glancing up. She smiles.   
“Yes that’s a very good truth. I’m proud of you for coming up with it.” Marva tells me sincerely   
“What is another lie” she asks to move the conversation forward.   
“That I deserved it” I say softly. She writes it down and motions for me to continue.   
“That I’m worthless” I say tearing up a bit.   
“We can take a break if you need to” Marva offers  
“I’m ok” I promise. She nods.   
“My body isn’t safe” I say looking up to see if she understands. She nods, I sigh glad I don’t have to explain.   
“I’m not sure of any more” I admit.   
“That’s ok. What about how you dress” she questions cautiously   
“What do you mean” I ask.  
“You wear larger t-shirts and jeans to cover yourself. Is looking attractive scary to you” she explains. I squirm a bit.   
“Yeah, they liked when I was dressed ‘pretty’” I say with a shudder.   
“Well we have another lie, being attractive is dangerous. I think I have a way to start changing this if you are willing” she says.   
“Maybe” I say nervously   
“Next week I want you to wear a nice blouse, do you think you can do that” she asks and I know she won’t press if I say no.   
“I can try. I don’t have any though. I’ll drag Scott or Lydia to go shopping with me.” I say making Marva snicker.   
“Ok so let’s find some more truths for the lies we have.” She says handing me the list she made.   
“For I deserved it, maybe I deserved to be treated nice” I say questioningly   
“Close how about you deserved to be respected and protected” Marva suggests. I nod.   
“Um instead of worthless, I’m a human being not a thing that can be priced ” I say. She smiles  
“So a short way would be saying ‘you are priceless’, right” She says  
“I guess so” I say not completely believing it.   
“Good, we’ll put that as the truth” she says and I write it down.   
“What about the other two” she asks.   
“I’m not sure. My body isn’t safe and I’m scared of being attractive, sorry” I admit.   
“Its ok. I’ll let you take the list with you to think about, sound alright” she asks. I nod and we move on to the lighter portion of the session to balance out.   
“So any big plans this weekend” Marva asks  
“Yeah we have our first Renaissance Faire. We’re all super excited” I tell her.   
“Good, I’m glad you are all getting involved with stuff like that. It’s a good way to make friends and to work on coming out of your shell in a safe way” she says  
“Yeah for this one, we aren’t participating completely like the others of our group. They wanted us to have an opportunity to see how it goes before we are ‘in character’ but we are all are dressing up.” I explain.   
“Well that’s awesome. What are you dressing as” she asks me curiously. I pull out my phone to show her the green dress with gold.   
“Technically there’s a tiara to go with it but I don’t want to wear it.” I say. We play cards for a bit before ending the session. Scott is so engaged in a game on his phone that it startles him when I speak.   
“Ready to go” I say, his phone flies out if his hand as he jumps grabbing his heart.   
“Sorry” I say smiling a bit.   
“Uh, yeah I was a bit into this new game, it has dragons” Scott informs me as he picks up his phone. We head out to meet Derek before going home to get caught up on school work.   
The next morning we head to meet up with our renaissance group.   
“I’m so glad you could make it” Andrea, the leader says as we walk in.   
“Here, Chelsea take Allison and Lydia to get their costumes. Steve will show Scott, Isaac, and Stiles where they can go” Andrea says.   
“So are you guys all related” Chelsea asks.   
“No just Allison and me but we’re all friends” Lydia explains   
“Your foster kids, right” Chelsea questions making us both stiffen a bit.   
“Yeah” Lydia says cautiously.   
“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that. I was a foster kid until about a year ago. My foster parents adopted me” Chelsea explains.   
“Oh, well that’s pretty cool” I say and she smiles. We finish dressing and head out to meet the rest of the group.   
“Alright, everybody, we’re heading out let’s load up” Andrea says. Once on the bus I move to sit by Scott only to find Chelsea already there. I sit with Isaac instead watching as Chelsea laughs at something Scott says. By the time we get to the fair she has an arm around him.   
“Uh, you ok” Isaac asks when I let out a small growl.   
“She needs to take her hands off of him” I say nodding towards Scott and Chelsea.   
“Huh, oh. Oh! I don’t think Scott means anything by it, he’s just being nice” Isaac offers, I shrug and we stand to get off the bus. Once off the bus I head over to Chelsea. Scott and Stiles are fake sword fighting.   
“Oh hey Ally. Scott’s a pretty awesome guy” Chelsea says enthusiastically.   
“Yeah he is” I say forcing a smile.   
“Did you know he’s never had a girlfriend? I think I might just be his first by the end of the day” she says before trouncing off.   
“Ally you ok” Lydia asks. I shrug and explain what happened.   
“What a floozy” Lydia says  
“Scott loves you Allison. He’s probably just being nice to her” she continues   
“Ok, I guess. Let's go have some fun” I tell her.   
After looking around at some shops that hand make soaps, candles and candy we’re approached by one of the actors.   
“Hello my fair young princesses. May I ask thee a question” he says  
“Of course fine sir” Lydia says doing a quick curtsey, I follow her lead.   
“My bard here says he believes himself to be the finest of all bards. I pray thee will you lend an ear so as to assertain whether it be true” the man says.   
“We will indeed” Lydia says. The bard steps forward with a quick bow.   
May I know your names, fair ladies” he asks.  
“Lydia” Lydia says  
“Allison” I tell him.   
“Ah such beautiful names for two princesses.” He says and clears his throat.   
“What doth though see before thine eyes but two young lassies in front of mine. One tis of the reddish hair, the other of the autumn air. But alas what is this, two princesses from lands afar. Lydia shines bright like fire, Allison burns on pure desire. A lonely bard though I may be I pray ye listen unto me. Ships may sail on through the night, no lighthouse near to guide thee by. Rocks ahead, no don’t let thee be dead. What hail they see amongst the dark two princesses shine their light, though may the smile be away from thee, another new day we all shall see” he finishes. We both applause him though it made absolutely no sense. He holds out a hand to me so I reach out mine. He takes it to his lips, kissing my hand making me blush. He does the same with Lydia.   
“I give thee thanks, fair ladies” the other man says giving each of us a flower. I giggle but soon find myself frowning.   
“What” Lydia asks. I nod ahead of us. Scott and Chelsea are at one of the shows. Chelsea is half wrapped around him.   
“He’s really uncomfortable with that, look” Lydia says and I see that she’s right Scott is tense in her arms. I smile and head that way. Lydia in step behind me.   
“Hey Scott, having fun” I ask.  
“Ally! You doing ok” he asks trying to shrug Chelsea off of him.   
“Yeah I just thought I’d see how you were. Oh hey Chelsea, didn’t see you there” I say smiling sweetly. She scowls at me.   
“Well Scotty here said he was going to enter the joust contest to win me the teddy bear, right honey” Chelsea says rubbing Scott’s arm.   
“uh, yeah I guess” he says looking at bit confused.   
“Well you go ahead and get ready, we’ll catch up” Chelsea says. Lydia hurries after Scott leaving me alone with Chelsea.   
“You should back off before you get hurt, he’s mine” Chelsea says  
“You can’t own someone, Chelsea. You’re actually making him uncomfortable” I tell her. She laughs.   
“You just keep on believing that. He just feels bad because you were around. He can have me now, he doesn’t need someone broken like you. You're just another pathetic emo cutter. He pity’s you.” she says before flouncing off to the tournament.   
I know she’s right, he deserves so much more than me. I sigh and head to watch anyway, keeping away from everyone else. Scott wins and Chelsea hugs him before kissing his cheek. I can’t take it anymore so I dart off to the nearest bathroom. Despite the fact that it’s probably dirty I shrink down beside the wall and the toilet trying but losing the battle to stop the tears. 

Lydia’s POV   
I hurriedly catch up to Scott.   
“Hey, what’s up” he asks  
“You realize Chelsea is flirting with you, right” I ask he stops and turns to me.   
“What no, we’re just friends. I told her Allison is my girlfriend.” Scott says  
“Her hanging all over you is her way of trying to get you to be her boyfriend. It’s why she wants you to win the stuffed animal for her” I explain   
“Oh, well shit. I didn’t know that’s what she was after. Is Allison ok” he asks  
“Yeah, I think so but you're going to have to be firm with Chelsea. Tell her to stop.” I tell him. He nods and goes to join the others participating in the joust. I’m surprised Allison hasn’t shown up to watch. After Scott wins Chelsea runs to him not only hugging him but kissing as well. Scott pulls away from her.   
“I told you, Allison is my girlfriend. What are you doing” Scott asks Chelsea   
“I just thought you’d like a bit more experience than she’s willing to give” Chelsea says with a pout.   
“Yeah well you thought wrong. Stay away from me” Scott says angrily before walking off. I quickly follow him and am joined by Stiles.   
“Where’s Ally” Scott asks once we’re away from the crowd.   
“I’m not sure, I haven’t seen her since I followed you to the tournament.” I tell him.  
“Damn it.” Scott exclaims slamming his fist into a wall.   
“Scott, stop” Stiles says as he goes to hit it again.   
“Come on let’s go find Allison” Stiles says. Scott nods. After 20 minutes of searching I begin to get worried.   
“Hey uh Lydia” a girl from our group says walking towards me.   
“Yeah, what’s up, Lauren” I ask  
“Your sister is in the bathroom. I think she’s really upset” Lauren says  
“Thank you, I’ve been looking for her” I say and run to the bathroom. I find Allison curled up by the toilet.   
“Oh Ally” I whisper sitting in front of her.   
“Hey Lyds” she says   
“Come on, we’ve been looking everywhere for you.” I say and help her stand up.   
As we step out of the bathroom Scott, Stiles, and Isaac are waiting. Scott pulls Allison into his arms.   
“Its ok, Scott, I understand. You don’t have to stay with me” Allison says softly.   
“What are you talking about, love” Scott asks pulling away to see her face.  
“She’s not broken like me. She’ll be better for you” She says  
“No Ally. I only want you. Why would you say she’s better for me” Scott asks pulling her back close to him.   
“She said so. Said your only with me because of what I did to my wrists that you just pity me.” Allison admits. I see red.   
“I’m going to end her” I growl only to have Stiles wrap his arms around me preventing me from moving.   
“Let me go, Stiles” I yell.   
“No, not until you calm down” Stiles says.   
“ŚWIĘTOSŁAW Eric Stilinski, let me go” I say struggling   
“You did not just do that” Stiles says still not letting me go.   
“What the hell did she just call him” Isaac asks   
“Um I’m pretty sure she used his real name” Scott says. I stop struggling.   
“She’s not worth it, let it go” Stiles says   
“Fine, for now” I say. Stiles kisses my forehead.   
“You are not broken and I’m not with you because I pity you. I’m with you because I love you” Scott tells Allison. She blushes and he hugs her again.   
“Come on, let’s go enjoy the rest of the day” Stiles says and we stay together as a group. Scott smirks as Chelsea glares at Allison. He pulls her close and whispers something in her ear. Allison giggles and nods. Scott kisses her on the lips making Chelsea storm off in the other direction. We’re getting on the bus when there’s a bit of commotion. We turn to see Chelsea arguing with one of the people who had been selling items.   
“I didn’t steal anything, you old hag” Chelsea spews. Andrea walks up to her.   
“That’s enough, Chelsea. Open your bag” she says. Chelsea does and two carved soap animals fall out.  
“ Someone put them there, it wasn’t me” Chelsea yells.   
“Right, just like every other time. You’re already on probation, do you really want to go back to juvie” Andrea asks. Chelsea doesn't answer. I turn to Stiles who winks before getting on the bus. Andrea makes Chelsea sit by her for the trip home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how Stiles name is pronounced : shvyen-TAW-swahf I really don't have any reasoning for choosing it just looked complicated.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really hope I don't offend anyone by using Christian songs but other than that this chapter is pretty fluffy.   
> Oh and yes aware that what Derek does for the girls is technically impossible but uh "Shhh, I won't tell if you don't" 
> 
> Disclaimer at the bottom

Allison’s POV   
Once we got back home after the Faire, we pretty much crashed immediately. Then on Sunday Alice took me and Lydia shopping so I could find a nice blouse. They both said it looked really good on me but I’m not sure. Chelsea didn’t get arrested for the Faire but she got kicked out of the group. Apparently she’s caused a lot of trouble. I felt bad considering she didn’t actually steal but Derek said he talked to the group leader about the whole thing and found out the leader knew what she’d said to me and They Have a zero bullying policy. My session with Marva yesterday was really hard, she suggested I pick back up at journaling. We talked about actual emotions and I got mad and yelled at her to stop. She said she was proud of me. I’m still surprised I didn’t get hit for telling like that. She said that normally people don’t get hit for yelling. It’s weird. She also let me give her a hug afterwards cause I started crying when she asked me about what emotions I felt when we first went to the orphanage. She said hugs are free and I don’t have to earn them I can just ask but that feels weird. Anyway tomorrow Lydia and I are celebrating our birthday. Marva suggested we pick a day that isn’t associated with our parents death. July 4th is independence day so we decided June 4th would be our independence day of sorts. Stiles, Scott, Isaac and Erica are planning our party, we aren’t allowed to know anything about it. Tonight though we’re kinda going on a group date. I’m excited and scared. The guys have it all planned out. Erica is coming over to help Lydia and I pick out what to wear. Oh actually she’s here so uh peace out. 

I sigh as I put down my pen. Erica burst in the door.   
“The fun has arrived” she sings. Lydia laughs.   
“What if we were naked, Erica” I say grinning despite myself.   
“Well I’d have gotten an eye full. Besides I’ll be dressing you up” she says before glancing around the room and leaning towards me.   
“We’re all girls” she whispers and I smile but it doesn’t get by her that I’m still nervous.   
“You have scars, huh” she says and I look at my hands. She reaches a hand under my chin making me look up.   
“Scars are just a sign that shows you were stronger than what tried to bring you down. Besides, I have scars too” she says gently then slowly pulls off her shirt and turns around. There’s one long scar that goes all the way up to her neck.   
“From that day” Lydia asks softly to break the silence.   
“Yeah, apparently there was a piece of concrete embedded in me, they aren’t sure how I survived.” Erica says before sliding her shirt back on and opening the bag she brought.   
“This will look awesome on you, Lydia” she says tossing a skirt her way.   
“I don’t wear skirts” Lydia responds instantly.   
“Gotcha covered girly, here” Erica replies and hands her a pair of leggings.   
“Ok Allison this is specifically for you” Erica continues and tosses a pair of jeans my way followed by what looks like a long shirt”   
“uh this is kinda a big shirt” I say and Erica smiles.   
“It’s a dress, some girls wear it just as is but I figured you’d be more comfortable with jeans and it looks stylish. Here let me help, it zips in the back” she informs me before moving to help. I take my shirt off and hold my breath knowing she’ll see the scars. She helps me into the dress/shirt in silence before turning me around and hugging me tightly.   
“Uh” I say momentarily stunned.   
“I’m so sorry, you’ve been through hell. You deserve so much better” she explains before pulling away and hugging Lydia as well. She clears her throat and shows Lydia the shirt to go with the skirt, it’s puffy on the arms but looks great on her.   
“Ok, now my outfit” she says with a smirk. She pulls on a tight pair of red jeans and a black revealing top and boots that she deems as her ‘bitch’ boots.   
“Makeup time” she sing-songs. I’m reluctant at first but she does a great job and it looks natural.   
“Ready” she says I nod and Lydia does as well and we head out of the room.   
When we come into the living room all of the guys are waiting for us. They look up as one making me smile.   
“Wow, you all look fantastic. Ready to go” Derek asks.   
“Yeah, are you going to tell us where we are going” Lydia pries.   
“Nope, not a word” he says and mimes zipping his lips. I roll my eyes.   
“Ready, my lady” Scott says offering me his arm. I blush a bit but take his arm.   
“Wait, pictures” Derek says enthusiastically. We take several pictures before Derek deems us ready to go. We step outside and I gasp.   
“You rented a limo” I say turning to Scott. He shrugs.   
“Only the best for our girls” Stiles chips in and we get into the limo.   
“How did you guys manage this” Erica asks once the limo is rolling.   
“Derek helped us, he has a friend, well his mother’s friend that was glad to help out. Apparently he owed him anyway.” Scott explains   
“So where are we going” I ask brightly.   
“You'll see but for now” Isaac says and taps the glass between us and the driver. Music starts to play.   
“We dance!” Stiles yells and begins to do so. By the time the limo stops we are all cracking up laughing. The driver opens the door for us and we pull it together.   
“This place is beautiful” I manage. We’re standing in front of a restaurant by the water that is shaped like a lighthouse.   
“Forbes Island, wow you guys seriously went all out.” Lydia says grabbing Stiles’ hand. We walk in as couples and are seated in a private room at three small tables.   
“Is this ok” Scott asks  
“Its more than ok, this is fantastic. You don’t have to waste money on me though” I tell him. He frowns slightly.   
“Its not a waste. You deserve everything good. One day I’ll make sure you believe it” he says rubbing my hand gently. I smile shyly.   
As we eat we talk about class work and how much better things are. We also play a game of who knows who better. I win but only by a half a point. We know each other really well.   
“Ok now we go for a walk, if that’s ok” Scott says holding out a hand for me. I smile and take it. We walk down a path that has trees merged together as a covering.   
“You look really beautiful tonight. I mean not that you don't normally you do but just extra today but you don’t have to dress up to be beautiful ,I mean what I’m trying to say is” Scott fumbles out. I decide to shut him up placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He smiles.   
“Stiles is rubbing off on you” I tease. He blushes.   
“Well actually I’m just kinda nervous” he admits.   
“Why is something wrong, do we have to break up” I ask suddenly terrified I’ve done something”   
“No! It’s good I promise, here let’s sit down. I want to show you something” he says and guides us to a bench swing.   
“I love you ally-cat and I got this ring, it’s not like an engagement ring ,it’s a promise ring, with the promise to never ever give up on you. That I will spend the rest of my life to show you how worthy of love you are” Scott says showing me a very beautiful silver ring with the infinity symbol etched with diamonds. Inside are the words ‘You are worthy of love’ I hold out my hand so he can slip it on. I feel a tear slide down my face as he does.   
“Why the tears, love” he asks wiping my cheeks with his finger.   
“I just don’t want you to be stuck with me. What if I never am ok? What if it stays just like this where I never want more than just cuddles and kisses. I’m broken Scott, you deserve so much more than me.” I admit my heart aching as I say it.   
“No Ally, you are not broken. I told you I don’t care if we ever do anything other than this. And as for who deserves who, you are leagues out of mine. Like if there was a totem pole you would be the top and I’m like the bottom. You deserve better. I just want to show you how much you deserve to be cherished.” Scott tells me.   
“But you’re amazing Scott, you put up with me even though I sometimes still hurt myself and you are always looking for ways to help others. I love you. I’m sorry I can’t see what you see in me but maybe I see it in you, does that make sense?”   
“Yeah it makes sense, one day you will see yourself the way I do, now we have one last stop, come on let’s go meet up with the others” Scott says and we walk back down the path to the restaurant.   
Stiles POV   
I’ve been nervous all night and I know Lydia knows. We shared an ice cream sundae as dessert before coming on this walk.   
“Stiles, are you ok” Lydia asks squeezing my hand. I take a deep breath before speaking.  
“Yeah I’m just nervous. I got you something.” I admit. She leans back against a tree.   
“Is it a pony” she asks and I laugh feeling the nervousness diminish.   
“No, sorry they were fresh out of ponies; but, I do have this” I begin and show her the ring I chose.   
“I’m not like asking you to marry me, we’re kinda young for that but uh it’s more of a promise. Well it’s a couple of promises, actually. First off you can see that it’s shaped like a crown and that’s because you are deserving of your own crown. You should be treated as a queen, that’s how I see you at least” I explain and she let’s me slip it onto her right hand.   
“What’s the other promise” she asks barely above a whisper. I pull out the matching ring on a chain.   
“This one fits me but I’m not going to wear it just yet. I don’t feel like I deserve you. I want to get better, to not feel like I sometimes want to die. And with this ring I want to promise that I’ll never take drugs other than what I’m prescribed” I finish feeling unsure. I startle slightly when she flings herself into my chest but recover quickly enough to hold her.   
“Thank you, Świetoslaw” she whispers. I hold her for a couple minutes in silence, trying to regain my voice.   
“We have one more thing to do, let’s go meet up with the others.” I say and we head back to the restaurant where we meet everyone else. I give Scott a nod which he returns. Isaac grins and winks as the girls show off their rings. We get back into the limo and head to the designated spot we had picked out. The sun is setting over the water making it look beautiful as we pile out.   
“Ok you three sit here.” Scott directs them to a bench made out of a log. Isaac pulls out the guitar we had stealthily hidden.   
“You play the guitar” Allison exclaims excitedly. Isaac blushes but nods.   
“Now we didn’t write the songs ourselves but we picked one each that we thought of you, do uh I’ll go first” I say and Isaac starts playing my song.   
Mirror mirror, mirror on the wall  
Tellin' those lies, pointing out your flaws  
That isn't who you are  
That isn't who you are

It might be hard to hear, but let me tell you dear  
If you could see what I can see, I know you would believe  
That isn't who you are  
There's more to who you are

So when it's late, you're wide awake  
Too much to take  
Don't you dare forget that in the pain  
You can be brave, hear me say

I see you dressed in white  
Every wrong made right  
I see a rose in bloom  
At the sight of you (oh so priceless)  
Irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable  
Darling, it's beautiful  
I see it all in you (oh so priceless)

No matter what you've heard, this is what your worth  
More than all the money or the diamonds and pearls  
Oh this is who you are  
Yea this is who you are

So when it's late, you're wide awake  
Too much to take  
Don't you dare forget that in the pain  
You can be brave, hear me say

I see you dressed in white  
Every wrong made right  
I see a rose in bloom  
At the sight of you (oh so priceless)  
Irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable  
Darling, it's beautiful  
I see it all in you (oh so priceless)

Sisters, we can start again  
Give honor till the end  
Love, we can start again  
Brothers, we can start again  
Give honor till the end  
Yea, we can start again

I see you dressed in white  
Every wrong made right  
I see a rose in bloom  
At the sight of you

I see you dressed in white  
Every wrong made right  
I see a rose in bloom  
At the sight of you (oh so priceless)  
(You're) irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable  
Darling, it's beautiful  
I see it all in you (oh so priceless)

I see you dressed in white  
Every wrong made right  
I see a rose in bloom  
At the sight of you  
[x3:]  
I see you dressed in white  
Every wrong made right  
Oh so priceless

“Thank you” Lydia says tears rolling down her face. I hug her to me as Scott steps up to sing. 

How many times can one heart break?  
It was never supposed to be this way  
Look in the mirror, but you find someone you never thought you’d be

Oh, but I can still recognize  
The one I love in your tear stained eyes  
I know you might not see her now, so keep your eyes on me

When you see broken beyond repair  
I see healing beyond belief  
When you see too far gone  
I see one step away from home

When you see nothing but damaged goods  
I see something good in the making  
you’re not finished yet  
When you see wounded, I see mended

You see your worst mistake  
But I see no price to pay  
There’s nothing you could ever do, to lose what grace has won

So hold on, it’s not the end  
No, this is where love’s work begins  
We’re making all things new  
And there will be a miracle of you

When you see broken beyond repair  
I see healing beyond belief  
When you see too far gone  
I see one step away from home

When you see nothing but damaged goods  
I see something good in the making  
You aren’t finished yet  
When you see wounded, I see mended

I see my friend, my beloved  
The new creation you’re becoming  
You see the scars from when you fell  
But I see the stories they will tell

You see worthless, I see priceless  
You see pain, but I see a purpose  
You see unworthy, undeserving  
But I see you through eyes of mercy

When you see broken beyond repair  
I see healing beyond belief  
You’re not too far gone  
You’re one step away from home

When you see nothing but damaged goods  
I see something good in the making  
You aren’t finished yet, no  
When you see wounded, I see mended

Ooh, I see mended  
Woah, oh I see mended  
you aren’t finished yet  
When you see wounded, I see mended  
Allison is in tears but in Scott’s arms the moment he finishes singing. Isaac waits a moment before turning to Erica.   
“I know you think that because of your seizures that you are not ok, there’s something to be fixed so this is for you.” He says before he starts strumming.   
Made a wrong turn once or twice  
Dug my way out, blood and fire  
Bad decisions, that’s alright  
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood  
Miss ‘No way, it’s all good;  
It didn’t slow me down.  
Mistaken, always second guessing  
Underestimated, look I’m still around

Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel  
Like you’re less than fucking perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you’re nothing, you’re fucking perfect to me

You’re so mean (so mean) when you talk (when you talk)  
About yourself. You were wrong.  
Change the voices (change the voices) in your head (in your head)  
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,  
Look how we all make it.  
Filled with so much hatred  
Such a tired game  
It’s enough, I’ve done all I could think of  
Chased down all my demons  
I’ve seen you do the same  
(Oh oh)

Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel  
Like you’re less than fucking perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you’re nothing, you’re fucking perfect to me

The whole world’s scared, so I swallow the fear  
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer  
So cool in lying and we try, try, try but we try too hard  
And it’s a waste of my time.  
Done looking for the critics, cause they’re everywhere  
They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair  
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time  
Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?

(Yeah! Oh!)  
Oh, pretty, pretty, pretty

Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel  
Like you’re less than fucking perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you’re nothing, you’re fucking perfect to me  
You’re perfect, you’re perfect)  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you’re nothing, you’re fucking perfect to me.

We are all smiling as he finishes. Erica kisses him and laughs.   
“Derek would have a complete freak out if he heard you do that” she tells him.   
“Actually he agreed it was the song for you even with all of its potty mouth language” Isaac says and we all laugh as we head back to the limo. Once we get back home Derek is suspiciously sitting in the front room.   
“Uh so how’d it go, you all have a good time?” he asks casually.   
“You aren’t as inconspicuous as you think you are, just saying” Allison says and we all laugh. Derek pouts.   
“But yes we had a good time” Lydia says.   
“Good uh wanna watch a movie” he asks. We all agree. The next morning we send Erica off with the twins so we can get their birthday party set up. It’s a mixture of Doctor Who and Supernatural. The first thing we set up is a supernatural themed scavenger hunt. It ends in the back yard/woods where we’ve built a Tardis. Once in the Tardis there is a trivia game for Doctor Who that leads to their pile of presents and then marathon of whichever show they want.   
Allison’s POV  
We walk around the mall for what seems like forever before finally heading home. We are stopped at the door.   
“Choose your character” Derek says holding out a bowl with papers in it. Lydia gets Jo, Erica gets Meg and I get Castiel. I get a trench coat, Erica gets a leather jacket, and Lydia gets a butterfly knife and a flannel shirt. Once inside Stiles is dressed as Dean and Scott as Dean making me chuckle. Isaac is dressed as Gabriel.   
“Aren’t you going to join us” Lydia asks Derek. He sighs and puts on a wig of a mullet.   
“Yes, Ash!” I say high fiving him. We set out on purpose scavenger hunt. Jo, Sam, and Gabriel are ghosts by the time we reach the Tardis.   
“You guys this is awesome” I say and then we settle down to play the trivia game.   
“Uh why is the pile look so big” Lydia asks  
“Cause y’all are awesome, duh” Erica says. We open all the gifts and at the end find two envelopes.   
“What’s this” I ask. Derek grins  
“Just open it” he says. We do. I’m instantly struck in awe.   
”How did you do this” Lydia whispers.   
“I called in some favors” Derek says. I surprise him by launching into his arms and hugging him.   
“Thank you so much Derek” I say crying a little on his shoulder. Scott picks up the paper that shows a new birth certificate with the date of today instead of the anniversary of our parents death.   
I pull away and wipe my eyes.   
“Uh so let’s go marathon Supernatural” I say to avoid awkwardness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song credit to For King amd Country, Priceless   
> Matthew West, Mended and Pink, Perfect.   
> Also I usually don't agree with promise rings at this age bit for these guys it's ok because of everything they've been through


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a chapter update finally. Shout out to scallisonlover27 for the idea of testing things between them. Hope you like what I've done. Oh and uh I'm kinda in an angsty mood so I took it our on unsuspecting characters, sorry.   
> Warnings at the end.

5 months later  
Allison POV   
Things are actually going really well lately. I haven’t had a flashback in over a month and I’m going on 3 months clean from cutting. It helped when Erica confided in me that b she used to cut too. I’ve been trying to stretch my comfort zone with Scott. The other day I sat in his lap as we watched tv. It felt kinda nice to have him just hold me. I still don’t like people being behind me but with Scott it’s different. I want to try kissing, more than just lips. It’s kinda scary to me but I want to make sure Scott is happy in our relationship. Anyway guess that’s it for today.   
I set my pen down and close my journal before standing up and stretching.   
“Hey how do you feel about doing dinner and a movie tonight” Erica says leaning on the door jam.   
“Like date night or girl night” I ask grinning.   
“Well girl night is reserved for next Thursday so I’m gonna say date night” she says wriggling her eyebrows at me. I laugh.   
“Yeah sounds good, Derek ok with it” I ask.  
“It was his idea and uh I think he’s got a date himself” Erica says in an excited whisper.   
“With Alice” I ask and she shrugs.   
“I sure hope so, they’re adorable together” Lydia says walking in.   
We get dressed and head out in the jeep. When we pull up to a chuck e cheese Erica snorts.   
“Seriously guys” she says and Isaac shrugs.   
“Come on, it’ll be fun. Whoever gets the least amount of tickets buys popcorn” Stiles says and we head inside.   
Scott and I are playing chase in one of the tunnels. I let him catch me, both out of breath. I lean into him kissing and letting my tongue wander. Scott kisses back enthusiastically. Suddenly it’s not Scott anymore but Dylan from school. I shove him away breathing heavy.   
“Ally-cat, you ok” Scott asks hands hovering but not touching me. I nod unable to speak as the panic overwhelms me.   
“Can I hold your hand” he asks and I nod again.   
“Its ok, just breathe with me. In, out, in out” Scott says rhythmically. After what seems like forever I can finally breathe again and the shame rushes in.   
“I’m sorry, Scott” I say feeling hot tears fill my eyes.   
“No baby, it’s ok. Flashback?” he asks and I nod.   
“I want you to be happy though too, Scott. I thought maybe I could do this for you. I’m just too broken” I admit harshly. Scott opens his arms and I accept the hug.   
“Listen to me, Allison. I love you just as you are, if you aren’t ever comfortable with going farther, that’s ok. I don’t want to be with you for sex, I want to be with you because I love you. I love that your eyes sparkle when you laugh. I love that you do this little thing with your hair when your anxious, you spin it around on a fingernail so it coils up more and then let it go and watch it bounce. I love that you always care about me, Lydia and Stiles even when your in the midst of your own shit storm. I love you, ok” he says and I nod.   
“Ok, let’s go win some more tickets then” he says and we race off to do so. In the end Isaac and Erica are the ones paying for popcorn. It’s finally time to head to the movie. We watch ‘Miss Peregrine Home for Peculiar Children’. There’s a car parked in the driveway when we get back.   
“Isn’t that Alice’s car” Isaac asks as I try not to giggle. We walk in to find them cuddled on the couch, asleep.   
“Oh my fucking god we have to get a picture” Erica whispers and pulls out her phone snapping several pictures in succession. We head to our rooms, Scott pulls me aside at the last minute.   
“Are you ok” he asks and I shrug.   
“On a scale of 1 to 10 how close are you to wanting to cut” he asks. I start to cry softly. He wraps his arms around me.   
“Shhh, it’s ok. I’m here” he says. We walk to the kitchen and he grabs some ice for each wrist. It takes several ice cubes before the urges finally break. My wrists are cold and red and I feel exhausted.   
“Thank you, Scott” I whisper and he plants a kiss on my forehead.   
“Anytime and every time” he says and we walk back to the rooms. I’m unsurprised to wake up from nightmares, Lydia leaning over me.   
“Who’s Dylan” she asks softly. I tense and she sits on my bed pulling me to her.   
“Dylan from school, huh” she guesses. I nod.   
“He trapped me once in the girls locker room. Didn’t get much of a chance to do anything because a teacher walked by told us to get to class. I’m sorry he got to you” Lydia says.   
“Not your fault” I remind her. She smiles.   
“I know but I still am sorry he hurt you” she says. We end up staying together the rest of the night.   
“So Derek left a note saying he’d be back tonight but he’s gone for the day so, freedom!” Stiles says the next morning. Somehow Scott and I end up alone on the couch.   
“So I had an idea about testing how far you could go, if you want” Scott says.   
“I’m willing to try” I tell him.   
“Ok, good. We’ll try some stuff and if it’s a little too much say yellow and if you want to stop immediately say red. Green means all good of course.” He explains. I nod. He pulls his shirt off and sits facing me.   
“Ok so reach out your hand to touch me” Scott directs. I do so slowly and release the breath I’m holding when no flashbacks pop up.   
“Are we good” he asks.   
“Yeah uh green” I say and he smiles. We try several more light touches with no flashbacks.   
“Ok, now how about if you lay back against me like this” Scott suggests I smile and kiss his cheek before laying back against his naked chest. His arms go around me slowly, ready to move quickly if need be.   
“I like this, green” I tell him. He kisses the top of my head as I relax against him.   
“Can I play with your hair” he asks and I nod. His hands are gentle and lull me to sleep. When I wake up Scott is asleep and we are covered with a blanket. I feel rested despite having had nightmares the night before. Scott wakes up as I move.   
“Hey, so, successful testing, right” he asks and I giggle.   
“Definitely and I really liked you playing with my hair” I admit.   
“Good, I’m glad” he says. Stiles and Lydia soon join us for movies informing us that Isaac went over to Erica’s for the night and we’re all asleep on the couch when Derek gets home.   
“So did you have a good day” Lydia asks as we sit at the table to eat the take out he brought home. Derek blushes.   
“Um, yeah I did, how about you guys” he asks.   
“It was alright, are you going to go out with her again” Stiles says making Derek choke slightly on his rice.   
“Um what” he asks casually   
“Alice, she’s kinda awesome so do you like her, like her” Scott asks and I smack him with my spoon.   
“Yeah I do” Derek admits quietly. We talk about the Halloween party coming up soon as a change of subject.   
One week later.   
My phone beeps with a message   
“Can I come in your bedroom window, please” – Erica  
“Yeah, it’s me and Lyds here, that ok” – I sent back.   
“Yeah, no one else though” – Erica.   
Is her immediate response. I close the door as Erica climbs inside. Her hair is frazzled and her shirt ripped.   
“What happened” Lydia asks at the same moment I say,   
“Are you ok” Erica opens her mouth to answer but only a sob escapes. I move towards her slowly.   
“Are you hurt physically anywhere” I ask gently. She shakes her head.   
“Would you like a hug” I ask next. She again nods and cries softly against my shoulder.   
“Who did this” Lydia asks, no longer needing to ask what had happened. Erica shakes her head.   
“Hey its ok, you don’t have to tell us” I assure her. She takes a few deep shuddering breaths.   
“Don’t tell Isaac” she manages to say  
“We won’t. Do you want to go to the hospital to get checked out? I ask. She shakes her head.   
“I don’t want my parents to find out either” she admits.   
“Ok, it’s ok we won’t make you.” I tell her. Slowly the shaking stops and she pulls away from me.   
“Can I take a shower and borrow some clothes” she asks, her voice small and un-Erica like.   
“Of course hun. Are you sure you don’t want to report this, not trying to force you just want to make sure you know the option is there” Lydia says.   
“I can’t” Erica says sniffling   
“Ok, do you want one of us to stay with you” I ask and she nods. I turn away to let her undress once we are in the bathroom. Lydia brings some clothes in. Erica cries softly in the shower. I try to keep it together myself.   
Once back in our room Erica hugs her knees to herself.   
“What am I going to tell Isaac, he was supposed to be my first” she questions. Neither Lydia or I have answers but we sit on either side of her holding her until she falls asleep.   
Erica stays with us for a week, refusing to see the guys the entire time.   
“Ok, I think I’m ok now, I mean not ok but ok enough that I can face the world again” Erica says confidently.   
“Ok, well we’re here if you need us” I promise her and she goes back out the window.   
Two days later Erica startles me by coming in the window silently.   
“Erica, you ok” I ask as she paces across the room without a word.   
“I’m late” she says finally, tears pouring down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self harm references, flashbacks, panic attacks past assault mentioned. Implied rape, not descriptive more the aftermath side of things


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for lack of updates. All I can say is I'm working on it. I promise it's not abandoned. I'll try to update more though  
> Warnings at the end

Allison’s POV   
Inwardly I’m freaking out but I throw my arms around her   
“Hey its going to be ok. No matter water well support you, Derek will too. When should you have started?” I ask gently guiding her to sit down.   
“The day after” she says softly.   
“Ok we need to get a pregnancy test. Lyds and I will run to the store, you just stay here and cuddle Snuffles” I say handing her a stuffed Owl. She smiles slightly and thanks me. It’s not easy to get away from the guys but we manage. I explain what’s up to Lydia on the way. The cashier glares at us so we hurry away. We wait with Erica in the bathroom. The test is positive. She cries.   
“Look we can go to the free clinic in town, get a professional one done, maybe it’s a fluke” Lydia says rubbing her back.   
“No we can’t. My mother works there.” Erica tells us.   
“Ok what do you want to do” I ask.   
“It might be wrong but I want to keep it. I can just feel it, you know.” She says. I tear up and nod unable to speak. She notices.   
“You’ve been, you know” she whispers. I nod and take a deep breath.   
“They made me lose her” I say. I’d been working on talking through it with Marva and Lydia had identified the baby as a girl.   
“I’m so sorry, Ally” She says. I nod.   
“I’m think maybe I’m ready for the guys to know, just I can’t be there” she says. Lydia nods.   
“We’ll tell them” she says. Erica nods but then stops.   
“Not Derek, please” she begs. We both promise and head downstairs.   
“Erica is in our room” Lydia begins.   
“Can I see her” Isaac asks at the same time Scott and Stiles chime in.  
“Is she ok” they ask.   
“She’s ok-ish, she’s allowing us to tell you what’s been going on” I say my voice breaking. Scott grabs my hand gently.   
“last week she was assaulted. We don’t know who by, um and now we’re pretty sure she’s pregnant” Lydia says all in one breath. Without second though Isaac darts up the stairs. I’m quick behind him.   
I stop when seeing Erica allowing Isaac to hold her.   
“I’m sorry” she mutters repeatedly while crying.   
“No, babygirl, no its not your fault. Everything will be ok” Isaac promises. I move to give them privacy. Downstairs Derek has arrived and looks pissed.   
“Which one of you is responsible” he asks somewhat heatedly to Scott and Stiles who flinch at his voice. Derek sighs and apologizes.   
“I’m sorry. I know about the pregnancy test though, I need to know which one of you needed it” he says taking care to keep his voice even.   
“Neither of us” Lydia says. Derek thinks for a minute and sighs.   
“Erica” he says and starts up the stairs.   
“No stop it’s not what you think. We can’t tell you anymore than that” Lydia says.   
“Look if Isaac got her pregnant it’s ok, we’ll deal with it. I’m sorry I came off angry. I was just worried, still am but I promise it’s ok. Where are they” Derek asks.   
“Please it’s not like that” Lydia starts before Stiles speaks up.   
“She was assaulted” he blurts out. Derek’s face loses color.   
“Oh god, Erica” he says holding onto the railing for support. Just then the two come down the stairs.   
“Stiles did it” I blurt out when Erica realizes Derek knows.   
“Asshole” she calls immediately before turning to Derek. “Don’t tell my parents” she pleads. Derek sighs.   
“You’re going to have to tell them eventually. I can help with that if you want” he says softly. She shakes her head.   
“I’ll tell them tonight, I promise” she says. Derek nods and says no more on the subject. We watch Supernatural until it’s time for Erica to leave. We group hug and head to see what’s for dinner. It’s a quiet meal but Derek lets it be. There’s a frantic knocking at the door. Derek gets up to answer it.   
“Erica, did you walk here” Derek asks in surprise. They come into the kitchen, Erica soaking wet from the rain outside. I brought red handprint in her cheek. Isaac gets up and holds her as she starts to cry.   
“They didn’t believe me. They said if it was really rape I wouldn’t want it. Dad slapped me and told me to get out” she tells us through broken sobs. Suddenly her eyes roll back in her head and she starts to convulse.   
“Shit, shit! Lay her down gently in her side, don’t hold her down. I’m calling am ambulance” Derek says quickly. He tells the 911 operator that he’s calling her parents and hangs up.   
“This is Derek, Erica is having a seizure” Derek answers the phone bluntly.   
“Excuse me, what the fuck is wrong with you. Her seizures are not her fault. Screw you too.” He yells throwing his phone across the room in anger. Erica has stopped seizing and comes too.   
“Oh god, not again” she mumbles before passing out. The ambulance arrives soon after. Derek informs them of the possible pregnancy. They allow me to ride with Erica while everyone else follows. It’s a few hours of tests and waiting before we are allowed to see her again. The doctor confirms the pregnancy and says both are doing ok but wants to keep her for observation. At some point Alice shows up and talks with Derek privately.   
“Alice is going to take Erica in as a foster because her parents gave up rights, she’ll be ok” Derek says. We nod and head back home after telling Erica well see her later.   
“Are you all right” Derek asks once back home then follows “Ok stupid question” he says. I smile before bursting into tears. Soon we’re all crying, Derek even sheds some tears. We huddle together in a group hug staying that way for a while. We end up sleeping on the couches together, Derek in the recliner nearby. The nightmares are particularly ugly.   
Derek POV   
I wake up to screaming several times throughout the night but they’re thankfully able to go back to sleep each time which is an improvement for all. The next morning is as quiet as the night before. I feel out of my area, not knowing what to say.   
“Can we go back to see Erica after breakfast, please” Allison asks softly.   
“Definitely, that’s a great idea. Um also I called Marva, she wants all of you to cone in, not just Stiles today. We have to be there at noon” I tell them. They agree though with sighs.   
“If it helps any, I have to go as well.” I admit. They smile. We eat cereal for breakfast and head to see Erica. It’s clear that she’s been told about her parents as she barely smiles when we enter.   
“Hey” Isaac says first approaching slowly and asking permission to hold her hand with gestures. Erica accepts. I see Allison relax against Scott, Lydia with Stiles. I slowly back out of the room to give them privacy. Scott cones after me.   
“I just wanted you to know I’d never do anything like that to Ally” he says shocking me.   
“Scott I’d never think you would hurt her.” I tell him completely flabbergasted.   
“No I mean get her pregnant. Ally doesn’t want to do you know that. And Stiles well he has his own reasons but we also don’t want to disobey you. We respect you. So even if Ally was wanting to we wouldn’t until we were legally adults, I just want you to know that” Scott explains and I feel terrible for having reacted as poorly as I did.   
“Look Scottie, I reacted badly. I know none of you guys would have done that, I think maybe my past got in the way. I’m sorry for that. I trust you all.” I tell him honestly. He smiles a bit his shoulders relaxing.   
“Ok, um Isaac wants to talk to you” he says and scurries off. Isaac comes out looking slightly pale.   
“What’s up, buddy” I ask softly, seeing he’s close to bolting. He takes a deep breath to settle himself and is silent for a moment.   
“Can I ask Erica to marry me” he mumbles.   
“I think that’s up to her but maybe let’s ask Marva her opinion. I’m proud of you for asking” I assure him. He nods and goes back to Erica. The others leave him and Erica alone for a bit and then we head off to see Marva. She actually decodes on double sessions Scott and Allison, and Stiles and Lydia. She asked if Erica would be up to a session with Isaac and would travel to have their session. I of course am on my own. The session for the first four must be rough because they cone out with tear stained faces. Then it’s my turn.   
“How are you hanging in there” she asks. I shrug immediately then realize that will get me nowhere.   
“I feel out of my depth but not overwhelmed “ I explain. She smiles.   
“Good that’s good. How about we talk about Alice” she says and I freeze.   
“Who” I ask trembling slightly. Marva comes and sits by me.   
“Derek, it’s ok. You’re allowed to have a girlfriend. And from what I can see she’s good for you. Tell me about her, please” she asks and I sigh.   
“She’s amazing. Beautiful, loving gentle. Adores the kids. She’s willing to go slow with me. She uh we uh kissed the other night” I admit blushing slightly. Marva smiles.   
“I want to meet her” she says. My eyes widen.   
“She doesn’t know about my past “ I say quickly.   
“Derek, are you wanting to marry this woman” Marva asks. I manage a nod, my face red.   
“Well then I think you should have a talk don’t you” she asks practically. I sigh.   
“As always your right” I say. She smiles. We talk for a bit more before she deems me good to go. I take Isaac and her to the hospital and ask Alice to come for a walk with me.   
Scott’s POV   
I’m surprised when Marva asks us to come in as pairs, I know this session is going to be rough for Allison. She told me about a month ago about the baby. This session is supposed to be about that. I’m sure it’s even harder now with everything with Erica. I squeeze her hand gently as we walk in and sit beside each other.   
“How are you two handling everything?” Marva asks after pleasantries.   
“I kinda feel like I’m spinning out of control but I haven’t had any urges to cut.” Allison says.   
“Honestly the same, like I’ve been picked up by a tornado and my feet won’t land” I admit.   
“Those are very understandable feelings and I want to commend both of you for helping your friend. Now how long have you known what happened with Erica, Allison” Marva questions   
“A week ago, she came to me and Lyds it had just happened, she didn’t say who” Ally says softly .”Being pregnant, only yesterday. Her parents are assholes” she adds. I nod enthusiastically   
“I have to agree with that. I know this is going to be difficult but how do you feel about Erica being pregnant, Allison” Marva asks gently. Allison goes quiet before crying. Finally she manages to speak.   
“I’m jealous” she whispers and falls into sobs again. I hold her hand petting it softly.   
“Listen to me Allison, that’s perfectly normal for what you’ve been through.” Marva begins. Ally cuts her off.   
“How is that normal. She was raped and has a baby on the way her parents disowned her and yet all I can think is I wish I had my baby” Allison yells and sobs brokenly.   
“Are you jealous that she was raped or just wanting a baby because you once had one” Marva asks calmly whole I wipe away tears on my own face.   
“The baby. It’s not fair. They would have taken her but at least she would be alive” Ally cries.   
You’re so right, it’s not fair, you have every right to grieve. I think maybe for our next session I want you to cone up with a name for her. Well have a funeral, it will help you process, it still will hurt but then pain will start to lessen some when you are able to grieve this loss. And you have to remember you have people around that love you and want to help you. Scott would you like to add anything?” Marva asks I nod and clear my throat.   
“I’m so sorry that you had to lose a baby in such a horrible way too. If I could fix it is would. I love you so much and I promise to help you through this in any way that you need” I say choking up a bit. She hugs me and I just hold her tightly.   
“Now I want you two to go out on a nice day together, no talking about all the issues going on, just go have fun, relax” Marva says. We talk for a few more minutes before heading out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk of losing a child by force, rate victim blaming, parents being assholes I think that's it.
> 
> Oh and any votes for whether Erica should have a boy or a girl and name for Allison's baby she lost.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Here's the last chapter. I worked really hard on it, hope it's well liked.

Allison’s POV  
“So what have you decided to name your child” Marva asks once we are coming towards the end of our session.  
“Natalie Marie, after our mother and our nanny” I explain with tears forming.  
“That’s a wonderful choice, are you ready for the memorial” She questions gently and I know I could say no and it would be postponed but somehow I really am ready for it.  
“Yeah I’m ready” I tell her and take a deep breath following her out of the room. We meet up with everyone else and head to the church that is allowing us to hold the memorial. It goes wonderfully. Both Derek and Marva speak at it and somehow I feel lighter afterwards. Erica hugs me tightly and asks to speak to me privately.  
“What’s up, you ok” I ask  
“Yeah I’m ok. Isaac is taking me out tomorrow after my session with Marva. I just wanted to tell you first, I’ve decided that if I have a girl I’m naming her after you” Erica says. I tear up and hug her.  
“That means so much to me, thank you for the honor” I say. She smiles and nods too choked up to speak. I of course know that Isaac plans on asking Erica to marry him but have been keeping the secret quite well. Lydia and I even helped Isaac get it all set up because he wanted it to be perfect.  
“What if you have a boy” I ask as we walk back to where the others are waiting. She smiles, “Derek Isaac” she says and I smile.  
“That’s awesome” I tell her and we rejoin the others. Scott wraps his arms around me and kisses me gently. I giggle against his lips.  
Erica’s POV  
“How are you doing today, Erica” Marva asks once I’m sitting in the chair across from her.  
“Today is a good day” I tell her. She’s been working with me on just discovering what days are good and which ones are bad and being ok with both.  
“what are we going to talk about today” I ask  
“well what would you like to talk about” Marva throws my way.  
“Is nothing an option” I immediately sass.  
“Of course, it is. We can sit here in silence for the hour if that is truly what you want to do” Marva says honestly.  
“I cant stay quiet that long, I guess maybe my parents. I mean they weren’t horrible. Even though they blamed my seizures on me I’m sure they loved me a little bit.” I say  
“Did they? How often did you go to doctor appointments alone or have to call an ambulance for yourself” Marva challenges.  
“Ok so they didn’t do much for the seizures but they kept me clothed and fed” I retort back.  
“We do that for prisoners as well,” She counters  
“They weren’t that bad, not like what my friends have been through” I yell panting slightly.  
“No they were not physically abusive but they were abusive, neglectful and emotionally. Emotional abuse is one of the most powerful types of abuse. It makes the person being abused feel like its all on their shoulders but its not its on the abusers.” Marva explains calmly. I deflate, knowing she’s right.  
“I know you’re right but a part of me still screams, it’s not that bad” I admit.   
“Ok then we can work on that. In fact I'd like you to acknowledge the abuse aloud” Marva requests.   
“What like say it” I ask and she nods. “My parents they were uh I mean kinda, they abused me” I say half-heartedly.   
“Good, that’s a good start, I want you to say that twice a day until our next session, ok” Marva says and I nod, suddenly unable to speak and overwhelmed with tears. Marva looks away to give me privacy. Once I get myself together we move on to lighter subjects until the hour is up. Then it’s time for my date with Isaac who’s been acting weird all week.   
First we get lunch and then go to the arcade where I proceed to mop the floors with Isaac. Then we go to the movies and a walk in the park. I’m taken by surprise when Isaac gets down on one knee. I suck in a breath as he asks me to marry him. I nod fervently suddenly unable to speak. He slides a ring on my finger and stands asking permission to kiss me. I press my lips to his to shut him up.   
Scott's POV   
We're all still up when Isaac returns.   
“She said yes” he says with a soft smile.  
The room erupts. The twins call Erica and chatter about flowers and cakes. Both Stiles and I congratulate Isaac.   
“Woohoo! Bachlor party” Stiles hollers and Derek levels him with a look.   
“A completely non alcoholic boring ass bachelors party” Stiles grumbles. Derek rolls his eyes and looks at Isaac.  
“I'm proud of you” he says and pulls him into a gentle hug. We spend the rest of the night camped out in the living room watching movies.   
About a month has gone by and Ally and I haven’t had a lot of time to spend together because the girls have been planning the wedding. Erica wants it before she starts showing a lot so tonight we're going out. I smile as she comes skipping down the stairs.  
“Sorry I’m running late we were discussing music options because the band we hired cancelled on us. We’re just going to have a playlist selected and no wait no more wedding stuff tonight is just me and you” she says in a rush. I laugh and kiss her nose. We eat at her favorite Italian restaurant before heading to a theater that’s still showing Wonder Woman. Afterwards I just smile at her and she wrinkles her nose.   
“What” she questions.  
“Just you are so amazing, you're like my own Wonder Woman” I tell her and she blushes and giggles.   
“That’s very sweet, but also very cheesy” she says biting her lip, her eyes dancing with laughter. I huff and feel myself blushing.   
“It’s ok. I love your cheesiness, Mr. Scott McCall.” She says bopping my nose. I miss her and we walk to the waiting taxi.   
Stiles POV   
Scott and Allison are out on their date so Isaac and I join Lyds and Erica as they pick out music.   
“You know you really have to be careful with picking out songs cause there are a lot that just won’t go well at a wedding” I say and Lydia glares at me but Erica looks curious.  
“Like what” she asks and Lydia groans collapsing dramatically on the bed behind her. Isaac laughs and I pick up the guitar Derek bought me when he found out I liked playing.   
I strum a few lines to get into the song before belting out,  
“You can’t always get what you want. But you can try sometimes, you might find you get what you need.” I grin as Erica starts laughing. I wriggle my eyebrows and continue.   
“She's my best friends girl . . . But she used to be mine”   
Isaac shoves me laughing.  
“Oh it can get better” I say and start another tune.  
“What’s love got to do, got to with it” I sing out.   
“More, more” Erica cheers.   
“But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” I sing surprising a laugh out of Lydia who sits up.   
“What are you hooligans doing in here” Derek says sticking his head in.   
“Stiles is educating us on songs that wouldn’t go well at a wedding” Isaac says mirthfully.   
“Ohh I got one, may I” Derek asks morning for the guitar.   
“Of course” I tell him as I hand it over. He smirks mischievously before strumming a few notes.   
“Dude looks like a lady” he sings out. I fall over laughing and then laugh harder as Lydia snorts while laughing.   
“Ok, ok serious time now” Lydia says once we all calm down. “Derek take these two so we can get this done in peace” She begs. Derek nods before picking me up in one arm and throwing Isaac once his shoulder with the other.   
“Dude you squawk like a pterodactyl” I say casually as Derek hauls us down the hall.   
“I do not” Isaac screeches indignantly” Derek rumbles a laugh. He tosses us both on the couch.   
“Why did you bother them in the first place” he asks plopping down beside me and flicking through channels.   
“They were stressing out, now they aren't” I say snatching the remote from him with a smirk.   
“You're a good guy, Stiles” Derek says and I shrug.   
“Yeah, maybe I am” I say and feel lighter somehow.   
Lydia's POV   
I feel half dead yet full of excitement. Erica and Isaac are getting married today. After two near meltdowns and a panic attack it’s finally time. A niece of Alice is the flower girl and a little boy Erica babysat is the ring bearer. Ally and Scott walk down after them followed by me and Stiles. The song turns from Happy Ever After to the The Bridal March and Erica starts down the aisle with Derek. He hands her over to Isaac and the preacher begins. When it’s time for the ring exchange Stiles hands Isaac a giant gold band big enough for Erica’s wrist. He stares at it in nervous confusion before Scott smacks Stiles on the back of the head and hands him the real ring. Everyone laughs. Once they kiss Stiles and Scott both hold up signs that have 10's written on them making Isaac blush and Erica laugh. They’re announced as bride and groom and then proceed to dance back down the aisle to the Macarena.   
“ I’m so happy for you both ” I tell them at the small reception, everyone else repeats the same sentiments.   
“Ok we have an announcement” Erica says once it’s just the family. Isaac hauls in a box and plops it down with a smile. Together they pull back the tape and several pink gallons rise up. I squeal and Allison hugs Erica tightly. It’s in this moment that I feel things are going to be ok.   
Derek's POV – 6 years later  
I’m in the kitchen when the door bangs open.   
“We're here” Stiles hollers and a smile rises unbidden as I head to the door. He's carrying little Claudia with Johnnie hiding behind him.   
“Now where could my little Johnnie be, here I thought I would have a pal to help me decorate cookies. Guess I’m going to have to do it all by myself.” I say making Stiles smirk. The 3yr old gasps.   
“No Poppy, I help” he says scurrying around Stiles and into my arms. I kiss little one yr old Claudia before heading back to the kitchen. Stiles predictably follows.   
“Hey now I though I was the dessert long around here” he says.   
“Nope, Poppy is better” Johnnie announces. Stiles gasps.   
“You wound me, kid” he says and puts Claudia in the nearby playpen.   
“Lyds, Scott and Ally are on the way with the rest of the munchkins. When is Erica and Isaac getting here” Stiles asks.   
“Should be soon, they left early this morning” I tell him. He nods and sets about getting stuff out of the refrigerator to cook.   
“Yoo-hoo, we're here” Lydia calls and Stiles rushes to help her unload. He brings in one of the twins and Lydia has the other.   
“So Derek which one do I have” he asks smirking. I sigh and study the infant briefly glancing at Lydia.   
“It’s obvious you have Natasha and Lydia has Nadia” I say smirking at his dropped jaw.  
“No way, how'd you do it” he asks.   
“Now that would be telling” I say and bend down to greet the toddlers that have just ran in.   
“Poppy, Poppy guess what? I poo-pooed in the potty” Christopher tells me. Scott facepalms.   
“Wow, that’s awesome. Good job buddy” I tell the two year old. “What’s the matter, Cameron” I ask the hiding twin.   
“Cam-Cam no like the potty. It scary and stole Ernie” the little boy says. I look to Lydia for explanation.   
“They flushed a dinosaur the other day and now he’s terrified” she explains. I nod and turn to the sad toddler.   
“That’s ok buddy. You know what will make you cheer up though” I ask he shakes his head. “It’s the monster claw” I say before tickling him. Soon though I’m on the ground with both toddlers and Johnnie pinning me down.   
“We defeated the monster” Johnnie cheers triumphantly. Before I can move Allison squeals.   
“They’re here” and both her and Lydia take off out the door. I follow and smile at the three girls hugging and jumping in a circle. Talia the 3yr old gives me a hug smiling brightly but five year old Allison has a huge scowl so I squat in front of her.  
“Poppy, daddy is a meanie-head” she announces.   
“Oh he is huh. What'd he do” I ask  
“He wouldn’t let me drive. I’m old enough now” she whispers conspiringly. I smile.   
“Well that’s just tragic, wanna see something funny” I whisper and she nods. I wink and stand up before walking over to Isaac who opens his arms expecting a hug. I toss him over my shoulder instead getting a squawk from him and giggles from the children.   
“Derek Hale, I'm a grown man put me down” Isaac hollers.   
“Hmm, nah” I say and proceed into the house. I flop him onto the couch where he scowls at me. Erica sidles over for a hug.   
“Where's Mom” she asks.   
“Oh she'll be back this afternoon. We’re getting a couple emergency fosters.” I tell her.   
“Cool, how old” Stiles asks.   
“12, 14, and 9” I explain but none of them ask for details.   
“Do they need soft sounds” Lydia asks. I nod.   
“Alright. Come on kiddos gather up please” Allison says. Once they’re all on the couch I listen to her explain how to be respectful of the new kids that will be coming and smile at how far she's come, really how far they've all come and how proud I am of each one.


End file.
